Last night was a weird show. They weren’t convinced that they could get more than one performance per contestant in without going over the time so thus, we got duets that didn’t really count.

Slash and Velvet Revolver at the 9:30 Club

Slash and Velvet Revolver at the 9:30 Club

Slash was the mentor and he was pretty much just there to sit like a statue in the audience. I wasn’t sure if it was him or a wax statue until he smirked one time.

Tonight, we get down to the nitty gritty. It’s time to cut down to the top three.

Ryno just called Randy, “the”. I wonder if he knew where he was going to send viewers. Don’t go there unless you want a t-shirt that says, “Pedalphile”, as in, someone who has a lead foot.

Paula Abdul is going to perform tonight as well. No word on whether or not MC Skat Kat will join her. But I bet you Arsenio Hall tunes in tonight and thinks, “Damn, I used to get at that.”

The contestants are performing with Slash on School’s Out.

Tickets go on sale this weekend for the Idol Live Tour. Woohoo! I mean, good for them.

Paula is ready to take the stage. I remember that my buddy at one point said that he wished that Paula Abdul was his wife and that Janet Jackson was his mistress. Yes, this was in 1990.

She’s performing (I’m Just) Here For The Music, which we linked to yesterday on the site.

The girl can still move. I have to give it up. Though, there was one part where she decided to go to a mic stand and she still had the headset mic on. Why don’t you just tell those who don’t know that you’re lip synching?

By the way, I think John Stamos and Emilio Estevez just shed a tear at the same time while watching.

No Doubt is performing tonight? Oh yes, I nearly forgot, they’re going out on tour in the summer. Dag, Gwen Stefani has shoulders like a linebacker. I was kind of waiting for her to bust into, “This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s,” but it didn’t happen. Oh well.

She decided to do push-ups on the stage, but she didn’t even go nipples to the floor. At least they were boy push-ups.

America, you got some ‘splaining to do. Ryno just told Kris that he’s safe. His wife is very happy right now, but she’s not going to be very happy if he wins this thing. I’m surprised the panties aren’t being thrown on the stage right now.

Daughtry is performing next and I think I only know that one song that they used to close out Idol a couple of years ago. I’m not even sure what else they sing. They’re prepping their second album that’s due out in July.

Chris says he hopes that it performs better than their last album which went 5x platinum. You have a better chance at going back in time, getting in a time machine, and beating Taylor Hicks for American Idol bruh.

I think the album will do very well, but no one goes 5x platinum anymore.

Ryno just sent Adam back to safety so it’s between Allison and Danny.

It’s officially a stag party. Allison goes home. Carrie Underwood has to sing her home sweet home.

I’m officially heartbroken. She was my favorite.

Photo of Slash by boboroshi and shared via creative commons