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Tag: Ryan Seacrest

  • American Idol Season 9 – Who Makes The Final 2?

    To summarize last night’s show, Casey sucked, Crystal was good, and Lee was money. Now let’s get to business.

    (By the way, if anything I write from here on out is goofy, I blame the medicine the doctor prescribed for me for what she described as whooping cough. If you ever want to know what whooping cough feels like, cough 100 times in a row without stopping. Take a breath. And then do it again.)

    Ryno just asked Casey if he ever thought he’d be this far and if he thought that he’d win. He said no. Well, at least he agrees with the rest of us. Crystal said she envisioned herself winning. Lee said he wants to win. At least I think that’s what he said. He has a way with words. The only way I can describe how he answers a question is to pretend that answering a question directly is like walking in a straight line. Lee walks around in a circle, a squiggly line, does it backwards, and with his eyes closed.

    The first video package is of Casey James and his trip back home to Texas. He signed a guitar for the hospital that helped him heal after an accident. You got to see Casey’s mom who has hair like Reba McIntyre from 1990.

    Perez Hilton is on this show which has to be a sign of the apocalypse. He’s supporting a kid named Travis Garland who is another YouTube sensation like Justin Bieber. Perez just said he’s better than Justin Timberlake. I’ll go out on a limb and say that he’s not better than Justin Timberlake, nor Justin Bieber, or any of your friends named Justin who sing drunken karaoke.

    Next we see Crystal in Ohio. She was a guest at her own parade and performed at her own concert called Bowerstock.

    A friend asked me why she does the LeAnn Rimes eye squint and I think it’s a combination of being very tired and having heavy eye lids.

    Lee was able to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field for a Cubs game. Now that was cool. Lee went back to the paint store that he used to work at and cried. I think he cried tears of joy because he’ll more than likely never have to work there again.

    Those were some long video packages.

    Bieber-Mania Is Runnin’ Wild!
    And now, it’s Justin Bieber time! Woohoo! I mean, um, hey, Justin Bieber’s on stage.

    He reminds me a lot of Joe McIntyre from the New Kids On The Block. He just has to be able to get over the upcoming voice crack that will happen sometime this year. I will admit to buying Baby on iTunes for the kids. At the end of his performance, he grabbed some sticks and did a drum solo to show that he’s not your average pop idol. That was pretty cool.

    And finally, it’s time for someone to go home.

    Lee DeWyze is the first person to move on so it’s between Crystal and Casey. If Casey wins, we riot.

    Crystal Bowersox is going to the finals. We get Lee vs. Crystal for all the marbles next week.

    Don’t feel badly for Casey. Casey James is about to run rough shot through American Idol groupies like no one has done since Constantine. Fathers, be good to your daughters, and keep them away from Casey James for the next three months.

    So who is it going to be? Lee or Crystal?

    Photo shared via Wikipedia and through creative commons

  • American Idol Season 9 – Who Makes The Top 3?

    Last night was a pitiful show for the top four contestants. Jamie Foxx was dying to give away his ARTIST shirts, but they all looked like CONTESTANTS, except for Crystal Bowersox. I know, I know, the duets were good, but those don’t really count. They don’t even get graded on those.

    And what’s with Simon telling Crystal that she’s back in the running? Hasn’t she been the wire-to-wire leader all season long?

    Do you remember that old Sesame Street song that went, “One of these things is not like the other?” Someone needs to sing that song to Casey James. Talk about overstaying your welcome.

    My favorite American Idol winner ever, Fantasia is on stage singing Bittersweet. They shouldn’t have let her on the stage. She sings with more emotion in her fake eyelashes than any current season 9 contestant sings with in their entire body.

    It’s time to dim the lights. Ryno has the parents sitting to his left and the contestants on center stage.

    In the “Somebody Up There Likes Me” category, Casey James is in the top three. I feel so badly for Big Mike. In no universe is Casey James a better singer than Mike, and he’s going further in the competition. Well, Daughtry was kicked out several years ago this week too.

    Speaking of Daughtry (how’d you like that segue?), they’re on stage now performing September. I think this performance is foreshadowing for Big Mike’s exit after this show is over.

    Daughtry has the worst goatee I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s bald and has his beard growing from where his sideburns would be all the way to the other side of his face. Then, he has the normal goatee running over and on the side of his lips, but it’s not as thick. He must’ve been bored and figured that he’s so famous now, he can wear his facial hair in any ridiculous manner and people would think it’s a fashion statement.

    Back to dimming the lights, Lee is safe. I’m telling you, Big Mike is a big goner.

    Bon Jovi is on stage and if I ever have to feather my hair like that to look cool, someone just please shoot me. That’s not to say dude’s not cool, because he’s one of the few guys going today who can feather his hair and get away with it, but if I were him, I’d go Daughtry style and shave it all off. Be a maverick Jon!

    Lee tried to explain why it’s good to be safe and bad to not be safe and he almost swallowed his own face by talking so fast.

    And the person who is in the top three is Crystal Bowersox. My man, Big Mike is going home and he’s going to have to leave right now.

    But they told me
    A man should be faithful
    And walk when not able
    And fight till the end
    But I’m only human

  • American Idol’s Top 4 Revealed

    One might think that the amount of screen time Henry Connick, Jr. received over the past two nights has positioned him as a candidate to judge the show next year. That would be a terrific lineup with a strong performer and arranger who also has credibility as a young star and a history with Ellen DeGeneres. But meanwhile, he likely helped his album sales tremendously this week. I know that he spent most of the day as a trending topic on most Internet sites.

    The video packages continue improving as Idol’s producers look for anything to generate interest in the show. This week, Ryan tell us that 32 million votes were cast and seems pretty smug about the situation. The judges remain strangely silent and even when Seacrest tries to draw out Simon, he gets nowhere.

    The Idolettes sing a Sinatra medley while Bowersox rocks a Fedora and suit like the guys. Everyone gets their obligatory solo although The Manhattan Transfer called and want their charts back.

    How cool was it tonight that Harry Connick, Jr. actually referred to charts and called the judges out for inventing the term “pitchy”. Go ahead. Look in a music theory book prior to Idol airing in the U.S. Good luck finding pitchy.

    Ryan teases out next week’s theme (Songs from the Cinema) and mentor (Jamie Foxx).  Jamie got the Rat Pack last year during the Top Five week, and Kris Allen and Adam Lambert both made the bottom three so it’s still anyone’s to win. Yes, Mike, exhale.  Oh, you did?  BTW, AI directing team, we’re really tired of audience shots of Michael’s family every episode.

    Gaga performed Alejandro. She was her typical push-the-envelope brilliant self.  Live leads on acoustic guitar, piano and violin mixed in with the catchy chorus.  She is on her way to being this generation’s Madonna and may even take it further.  Her live performances are events.   Less of an event was Harry’s take on And I Love Her.   I liked his crooner phrasing, which sounded more like Tony Bennett than Frank Sinatra.  It was a nice enough piece and after two decades, Connick knows how to command a stage and hold an audience. He really is a funny guy.  The judges gave him a standing ovation so they at least showed respect.

    Lee was declared safe between the performances so Ryan had Crystal on one side with Mike and Aaron on another.  Then he sent to Casey to join Crystal, and Lee declined to play the “Guess Which Group Is Safe” game.  Holy Cow, I thought.  The Clashers playing in the contest got it right again, and Crystal is in the Bottom Two!

    As if.

    Casey and Crystal are safe for some reason while Aaron and Mike face the music again.  This time Aaron, who belted Fly Me To The Moon both nights, gets the boot.  Look for his album to sell big at Christmas.  And as a true gentleman, Harry Connick played for him as he took the last bow.  (Anyone else notice Ricky Miner was absolutely marginalized this year, even before he took The Tonight Show gig?)

    So your Final Four are Crystal, Casey, Lee and Mike.

    Who goes to the finals?  Who goes home next week?

    What do you think?  Good show?  Bad show?  Boring show?