There was a fleeting thought in my mind that maybe after four years off, Eminem could regain some of his former glory as one of the most talented and exciting rappers of our time. Well, if his new single, “Crack a Bottle”, is any indication, I won’t be holding my breath for a comeback from Slim Shady. Proving that he’s pretty much completely lost touch with who he was ten years ago, Em seems to be content to spit rhymes that sound great from a technical standpoint, but when you actually listen to what he’s saying, you’re like “THIS is what he’s rapping about?” A storyteller once on par with legends like Slick Rick, he’s become a parody of himself. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent recycling their typical cliche-ridden schtick doesn’t help, either. Nor does the lazy production and absolutely wack chorus. Actually, lazy is the best word to describe this whole travesty of a song. If this is the best Eminem has to offer, maybe he would have been better off had he retired like he was threatening to do after “Encore”.