I’m feeling poorly today and in a negative mood. So here’s a post about bad Christmas music.

I’m sitting here listening to Mariah Carey’s unfortunate slaughtering of her Christmas hit, “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. This song is about twenty years old and has become sort of a holiday staple over the years. But poor Mariah was having some vocal issues and sadly, it’s now become Internet news.

To be sure, Mariah still has fabulous vocal chops, but this performance is just north of disastrous.

Chin up, Mariah. Even divas like Aretha Franklin sometimes make bad Christmas music.

This isn’t as bad as it could be, but I’ve heard Aretha do better… Yikes.

To be fair, Aretha on a bad day is still better than most singers on a good day. But I still think this was an unfortunate performance.

Then there’s Christmas music that is bad, not due to the performance, but because it’s just bad… Case in point, here’s a song called “I Farted on Santa’s Lap (Now Christmas is Gonna Stink For Me)”. Appropriately enough, this song is performed by The Little Stinkers.

I’m sure this is a hit at parties.

And then there’s the ever popular “Merry Fucking Christmas” by our friends on South Park. For some people, this is probably a valid sentiment.

Mr. Garrison sings to all the “heathens” out there who aren’t Christians…

I don’t know if I’d call this “bad” as much as I’d call it potentially offensive. I, of course, think it’s a hoot, but others might not be as generous.

Ditto for Red Peters’ heartwarming classic, “Holy Shit, It’s Christmas!” Any time you need hamsters as singing partners, you know your song is full of gimmickry.

I think I like the furry little critters, though…

Red Peters followed up with another Christmas hit called “You Ain’t Getting Shit For Christmas”…

Red takes on this song with the Alan Pinchloaf Singers.

I’m sure everyone has a story of ungrateful friends and family members, right? I know I do.

Speaking of bad Christmas music involving rodents, I don’t need to hear “Please Christmas Don’t Be Late” by Alvin in the Chipmunks ever again…

This song makes me cringe.

I’m sorry this post is more video than writing, but I think I need to go back to bed with a hot toddy. Hopefully your Christmas music is all good and hopefully no one gives you the unwanted gift of sickness.