You know I’m a serious fan of the Jacksons when not only did I skip watching my beloved Giants, but I skipped watching my almost-as-equally beloved “Family Guy” to check out the premiere of the new reality show “The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty” on A&E. Granted, the Giants lost (although I managed to catch most of the exciting part of the game) and I was able to watch “Family Guy” on DVR later, but I can still think of several things I could have been doing that would have made better use of my time than watching this series.
I’m not stupid. I know that most “reality TV” is scripted. However, “Family Dynasty” continues a tradition that the Jackson family has been a part of for decades: they think that their fanbase consists of idiots. From Michael repeating that he only had two nose jobs and a cleft put into his chin (and no other surgery) to Janet claiming her “wardrobe malfunction” was an accident, these folks have severely underestimated the intelligence of their followers.
The first two episodes contained plenty of manufactured “drama”, which seemed to have been written by a lower-echelon sitcom writer. When Jermaine takes a lunch break from a studio session, Jackie proceeds to erase his vocals from the track they’ve worked on. After that confrontation, Jermaine and Jackie have a (crocodile) tear-filled heart-to-heart about the feelings of loneliess Jermaine felt when the brothers left him at Motown-back in 1975. Are you trying to tell me that there has never been a conversation about this in the thirty-five years that have passed since the split? That was the first of many eye-rolling events that took place over these two hours.
Of course, the biggest elephant in the room was the fact that Michael was not there. The brothers kept referring to this as a “Jackson 5 reunion” when the most important member of the group wasn’t around (and he was alive when they filmed the first episode). To add insult to injury, youngest brother (and arguably the most musically talented of the five surviving brothers) Randy refused to participate in the show, so we end up with The Jackson…4??? It’s almost hilarious to see them going over a set list that includes “Can You Feel It”, “Lovely One” and “Shake Your Body”, all of which were written and sung by the two brothers who weren’t even there!!
If you’re looking for unintentional comedy, then “The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty” is for you. If you’re looking for a look into one of the more interesting showbiz families of our time, you’re better off waiting for one of the renegade relatives to release a tell-all book, which I’m almost positive will happen at some point.
