web analytics

Pop Rock Nation

Tag: Hannah Montana

  • Idol Does Billboard Badly

    Anyone have a copy of Billboard from the last 20 years besides Young Katie Stevens who finally looked young?  With that lower register, she’ll never sound young, but at least she covered Fergie.   Tonight’s Top 11 sing-off was marred by some of the worst song choices imaginable and they had the entire Billboard #1 catalog to choose from. Amazingly, only Katie sang something recorded after the 1980s.

    Miley Cyrus
    This…is your surprise mentor

    If you watched,  vote now in the Sonic Spring Singing Contest.  We’ll open the poll in a new window so you can save your spot.  And remember–the winner gets a $25 Amazon gift certificate.

    Making the Top 12 is always big, but making the Top Ten means touring and learning  performing chops (sorry Alex Lambert) while making friends and alliances.  A beautiful formula with suspense cutting to the Top 12 and then again when Paige Andrew, no probably Paige, doesn’t go on tour.

    Here’s what happened.

    Lots of early vamping.  Idol is still in two hours slots, but the contestants are still only singing one song.  When the show gets interesting, we’re down to one hour, which is rush, rush, rush until the end of the season when we’re back to three or four people.  So the show starts with Ryan Seacrest who adlibs as well as anyone on television vamping madly.   Kara and Simon continue looking like a married couple, and you have to wonder when Ellen bops Simon for the scripted faux gay asides.

    Tonight’s BIG MENTOR REVEAL is… Miley Cyrus?

    She got hers later in the show from Casey James, and no, not like that because Hannah Montana is still only 17.  Dude told her he was a big fan of her father and his one hit.

    Lee Dewyze opens, a smart choice given the buzz.  Lee immediately puzzles everyone by singing an update of a 50 year old song.   And then he doesn’t sing it well.  He may have thought he was doing Springsteen.  He sounds hoarse-screechy and his body language is closed all the way up to his hunched forward shoulders.

    Paige Miles, the best pure singer, rushes and then hesitates through Phil Collins’ Against All Odds.  Then she sings it in several keys, sometimes in the same measure.  There is no denying Paige’s vocal prowess.  She’s in the Bottom Two for sure though.  Speaking of the Bottom Two, have you played Sonic Clash’s AI contest yet?  That’s the one from several paragraphs ago you may not have clicked on.

    Ryan makes me laugh with the segue of  “Under the tutelage of Miley Cyrus…”   before Tim Urban massacres Crazy Little Thing Called Love, complete with a slide to the audience, while he gladhands the teenyboppers and AI drones in front.  Every judge slams him for acting like a star instead of the guy who got picked up when one of the finalists was disqualified.  Sadly, he will likely tour.

    One guy belonging on the tour is Aaron Kelly.  This week is Aaron’s turn for laryngitis, which he blames on tonsillitis.  Holy Cow!  The judges love his Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, but he covered Lonestar’s song about a guy missing his family and now a song that two grown up acts had hits with in a very sensual tone.  This teen wants to be too old, but sadly only Simon even mentions how old Aaron’s choices make him sound.  Seacrest recovers by calling him David Archuleta, but eh..  Aaron could win this contest.  I called him a darkhorse in our annual American Idol podcast.  He can still make it to the fourth spot, maybe even third.

    How can Crystal Bowersox go wrong covering Janis Joplin?   She can’t, she doesn’t, the judges fawn and Ryan joins her sitting on her own little carpet on the stage.  Crystal is still top 3.  Kara compares her to Janis and Simon compares her to Pink. Can’t go wrong.

    Miley Cyrus looks more like a waif standing next to Big Mike Lynche who delivers a technically fine version of When A Man Loves A Woman complete with crystal clear falsetto.  Everyone thinks the choice is sound but safe.  Lynche hasn’t blown it yet, but the judges aren’t as impressed as they’ve been.

    Andrew Garcia perhaps alters the course of his career by singing Motown while his glasses slide off his nose and he prances in a jacket he stole from Kim Jong Il.  The North Korean leader didn’t ask for it back, but Simon Cowell rhetorically asks if everyone didn’t overestimate Garcia because of his catchy cover of Straight Up.  The others say the version was brilliant, but Simon is right back at them.  It wasn’t brilliant, says he.  It was catchy, quirky and had a Paula connection.  Damn if he isn’t right again.  Idol will miss him.  If Paige is voted off, Garcia joins the tour where he will sing Straight Up and several group numbers.  You can then catch him Thursdays and Fridays next year at the Van Nuys Ramada.

    Katie Stevens rocks out to some Fergie and doesn’t cry because she’s a big girl.  The judges love her.  I love her hearing a song recorded before the 1980s.  Katie looks young and relevant.

    Looking less relevant to me every week is Casey James who covers The Power of Love. Dude didn’t work it out, as Randy claimed, because the song was harmlessly dated when it was made famous 25 years ago as the theme for Back to the Future.  I would have preferred Michael J. Fox performing the song if I wanted nostalgia.   Casey goes on tour and then joins Ace Young working as a poolside bartender at a Sandals resort.

    Casey is Country Constantine(tm).

    Seacrest blows pronouncing Didi Benami’s name, which is okay because I just spelled it wrong twice. She sings yet another 70s song, and while she looks sharp in a tight skirt and black stockings, everyone agrees she appears to be playing  a character as she warbles You’re No Good.  I scream that it’s hokey cabaret and think she’ll be fine in the Houston company of the musical Chicago next year.

    After a commercial for Fox’s Human Target dissolves into Chi McBride looking bored in the AI audience, Ryan introduces The One Who Could Beat Crystal.  Yes, it’s Siobhan, known to GG fans as “crazygirl” and to CJ fans as “snaggletooth”.  I think she’s cute and a great performer.  She looks like a girl I know in 10th grade when she goes to meet Miley (love the big glasses!) and then looks like Peter Pan on stage.  She crushes Superstition as well as anyone not named Stevie Wonder and signs off with her trademark scream.  Simon suggests she open the next song with a scream and then sing to mix it up.

    I heart Siobhan.  I have for weeks.  I would buy a Crystal concert ticket, but I would buy a Siobhan ticket and an album.  What do you think?  Good show?  Bad show?  Who is in it to win it?

    Tune in to Sonic Clash tomorrow for GG’s wrap on the results show!  And once you’re done voting here (you did enter the contest, right?), check out our buddy Roheblius’ And Then There Were Eleven.

  • Chart Chat 7/13/08: The Midyear Analysis (Oooohhh…)

    It’s a mellow Sunday morning. The sun is shining, I’ve got the next week off from my day job, and the relaxing, dulcet tones of Courtney Love are coming from my stereo. Nothing like a little Hole to smooth out the 7th day, eh?

    All that because I don’t really have an intro for this week’s Chart Chat. Here are the charts, as usual provided by the lovely ladies and gentlemen of Billboard Magazine.

    You know what? Screw that (partially because this week’s charts are dead boring and I can’t really find much to talk about beyond G-Unit scoring a mighty flop and putting yet another nail in the coffin of 50 Cent’s career).

    Even though we’re a week or so past the official halfway point of the chart year, now might be a good time to take a look at the Top Albums of the Year so far. Since I have no way of finding out what the year’s top singles are (I would imagine either “Lollipop” or “Low” tops the chart), I’m stretching the list from 20 to 40. Ooh, good times, right?

    Anyway:

    Lil Wayne's "The Carter III"

      The Top 40 Albums of 2008…so far

    1) “The Carter III” Lil’ Wayne
    2) “Sleep Through the Static” Jack Johnson
    3) “Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends” Coldplay
    4) “E=MC2” Mariah Carey
    5) “As I Am” Alicia Keys
    6) “Taylor Swift” Taylor Swift
    7) “Spirit” Leona Lewis
    8) “Here I Stand” Usher
    9) “Juno Original Motion Picture Soundtrack” Various Artists
    10) “Now That’s What I Call Music Vol. 27” Various Artists
    11) “Growing Pains” Mary J. Blige
    12) “Alvin & The Chipmunks Original Motion Picture Soundtrack” Various Artists
    13) “Exclusive” Chris Brown
    14) “Thriller” Michael Jackson
    15) “Trilla” Rick Ross
    16) “Hannah Montana 2/Meet Miley Cyrus” Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus
    17) “Little Voice” Sara Bareilles
    18) “Hard Candy” Madonna
    19) “Back To Black” Amy Winehouse
    20) “Coco” Colbie Caillat
    21) “In Rainbows” Radiohead
    22) “Jonas Brothers” Jonas Brothers
    23) “Daughtry” Daughtry
    24) “Carnival Ride” Carrie Underwood
    25) “Now That’s What I Call Music Vol. 28” Various Artists
    26) “Just Like You” Keyshia Cole
    27) “Welcome To the Dollhouse” Danity Kane
    28) “The Ultimate Hits” Garth Brooks
    29) “Indestructible” Disturbed
    30) “Camp Rock Original Motion Picture Soundtrack” Various Artists
    31) “Troubadour” George Strait
    32) “Good Time” Alan Jackson
    33) “Enjoy the Ride” Sugarland
    34) “Rock & Roll Jesus” Kid Rock
    35) “Good Girl Gone Bad” Rihanna
    36) “Jordin Sparks” Jordin Sparks
    37) “Now That’s What I Call Music Vol. 26” Various Artists
    38) “Dreaming Out Loud” OneRepublic
    39) “Long Road Out of Eden” The Eagles
    40) “Discipline” Janet Jackson

    *A telling note on the state of the music business. At this point in the year: only 4 albums have crossed the million mark in sales, and only the Top 29 albums have crossed the 500,000 mark. Typically, 90-100 albums a year sell more than half a million copies.

    *Kid Rock’s one of the artists who will most likely jump over the half million mark next week, and his “Rock & Roll Jesus” has sold 1.1 million copies in it’s chart life (soon to surpass the 1.4 million that his last studio album pushed), and he has sold not one copy of this digitally (Jay-Z moved a million copies of “American Gangster” last year the same way). So there are still folks shuffling their lazy asses into record stores (or at least ordering hard copies through Amazon or wherever).

    *I love how Jack Johnson sells a shit-ton of records year-in and year-out without whoring himself. When was the last time you saw the dude on TMZ or even a morning talk-show? On top of that, he’s never on MTV, barely on VH-1, and can you say he’s ever really had a radio hit?

    *From the list of Top 40 albums, it’s pretty obvious what’s catching the public’s attention. Lots of soundtrack action this year, with all 4 of the titles in the Top 40 skewing to a younger audience (well, three of them appeal to straight-up kids, with “Juno” inappropriate for that age range, but attracting plenty of older teens and younger adults).

    *Also, plenty of country (6 titles, not including the country-esque Kid Rock & The Eagles), “Now That’s What I Call Music” compilations (3 of ’em), R&B divas (8, including R&B-esque Leona Lewis & Rihanna), “American Idols” (3), and somewhat, improbably after all these years, the kids of Joe & Katherine Jackson (2).

    *In this Top 40, you’ll see the artist who had the #1 album of 2004 (Usher), the artist who had the #1 album of 2005 (Mariah) and “Hannah Montana 2” and “Camp Rock”, Disney soundtracks just like the #1 album of 2006 (“High School Musical”). I bet ya if Josh Groban (who had the #1 album of 2007) releases an album this year, he’ll pop up on this list before December 31st.

    *Back to the Jacksons for a sec…Janet’s “Discipline” will most likely exit the Top 40 next week, but “Thriller”‘s numbers are pretty amazing, especially since Michael Jackson has not lifted a finger promotionally. I don’t know that a reissue album has ever finished a year in the Top 40 of a year-end chart, and it’s entirely possible that “Thriller” will hit the million mark by year’s end (right now, it’s about 3/4 of the way there with Michael’s 50th birthday a month and a half away).

    *And, OK, I’ve gotta admit that it’s funny seeing “Thriller” at #14 and Rick Ross’s “Trilla” at #15.

    *Nice year to be a female artist of mixed racial heritage, eh? In a year where we might see a mulatto get elected President of the United States, bi-racial honeys Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey and Leona Lewis are all in the Top 10, with Rihanna and Jordin Sparks also in the Top 40. Where’s Faith Evans when you need her?

    *With Lil’ Wayne and Coldplay hitting their marks in four and three weeks respectively, I’d imagine it’s a fairly safe bet that they’ll end the year in the top two spots, yes?

    *Not a bad time to be a new or developing artist, as of the 33 albums in the Top 40 that are not compilations, 9 are debuts (counting Winehouse, whose “Back to Black” was her first Stateside release), and another 5 are sophomore albums.

    *One thing to note is the surprising amount of flops from previously unassailable artists this year. Looking through the rest of the Top 100, you find rapidly sinking albums from the likes of Snoop Dogg (#49), Sheryl Crow (54), Panic at the Disco (63), and Counting Crows (82). This is in addition to the relative failures of the Madonna and Janet Jackson albums. Ahh…and we’ll soon be adding G-Unit to this list. Have I mentioned them before? God, I hate 50 Cent.

    Anyhoo, if you missed me actually talking about THIS week’s charts, you can find them over at http://www.billboard.com.

    Look for a list of my favorite albums of the year so far (screw sales) coming soon…