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Tag: American Idol Season 8

  • American Idol Season 8 – Down To The Nitty Gritty

    Last night was a weird show. They weren’t convinced that they could get more than one performance per contestant in without going over the time so thus, we got duets that didn’t really count.

    Slash and Velvet Revolver at the 9:30 Club
    Slash and Velvet Revolver at the 9:30 Club
    Slash was the mentor and he was pretty much just there to sit like a statue in the audience. I wasn’t sure if it was him or a wax statue until he smirked one time.

    Tonight, we get down to the nitty gritty. It’s time to cut down to the top three.

    Ryno just called Randy, “the bomb.com”. I wonder if he knew where he was going to send viewers. Don’t go there unless you want a t-shirt that says, “Pedalphile”, as in, someone who has a lead foot.

    Paula Abdul is going to perform tonight as well. No word on whether or not MC Skat Kat will join her. But I bet you Arsenio Hall tunes in tonight and thinks, “Damn, I used to get at that.”

    The contestants are performing with Slash on School’s Out.

    Tickets go on sale this weekend for the Idol Live Tour. Woohoo! I mean, good for them.

    Paula is ready to take the stage. I remember that my buddy at one point said that he wished that Paula Abdul was his wife and that Janet Jackson was his mistress. Yes, this was in 1990.

    She’s performing (I’m Just) Here For The Music, which we linked to yesterday on the site.

    The girl can still move. I have to give it up. Though, there was one part where she decided to go to a mic stand and she still had the headset mic on. Why don’t you just tell those who don’t know that you’re lip synching?

    By the way, I think John Stamos and Emilio Estevez just shed a tear at the same time while watching.

    No Doubt is performing tonight? Oh yes, I nearly forgot, they’re going out on tour in the summer. Dag, Gwen Stefani has shoulders like a linebacker. I was kind of waiting for her to bust into, “This shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s,” but it didn’t happen. Oh well.

    She decided to do push-ups on the stage, but she didn’t even go nipples to the floor. At least they were boy push-ups.

    America, you got some ‘splaining to do. Ryno just told Kris that he’s safe. His wife is very happy right now, but she’s not going to be very happy if he wins this thing. I’m surprised the panties aren’t being thrown on the stage right now.

    Daughtry is performing next and I think I only know that one song that they used to close out Idol a couple of years ago. I’m not even sure what else they sing. They’re prepping their second album that’s due out in July.

    Chris says he hopes that it performs better than their last album which went 5x platinum. You have a better chance at going back in time, getting in a time machine, and beating Taylor Hicks for American Idol bruh.

    I think the album will do very well, but no one goes 5x platinum anymore.

    Ryno just sent Adam back to safety so it’s between Allison and Danny.

    It’s officially a stag party. Allison goes home. Carrie Underwood has to sing her home sweet home.

    I’m officially heartbroken. She was my favorite.

    Photo of Slash by boboroshi and shared via creative commons

  • American Idol Season 8 – Who Is In The Top 4?

    Last night was a very interesting show, but it left me a bit empty, because I’m very worried that even though she was awesome last night, Allison might very well be going home tonight. I brought this up way back in the beginning. There was something missing about her personality and it was going to cost her. She’s become a bit more comfortable and that’s helped. But man, she’s turned her game up and deserves to go home less than ever. I’m crossing my fingers for Allison tonight.

    Last night, they dressed the part and it enhanced their performances. Tonight, it’s back to the old lazy button ups and sneakers for Kris. They performed I Don’t Mean A Thing and I Got Rhythm. It was a fun, but very simplified performance. I guess after Paula put them through the ringer last week, they didn’t want to go back for more.

    My kids think that Matt wears a hat to hide the wart on his forehead which they call his “third eye”.

    All five are in the center awaiting their fate. Matty Ballgame is sent to the right side of the stage. Danny is sent to the left side of the stage. Allison is sent next to Danny, while Kris is sent next to Matty.

    By the way, my wife Kara’s hair is terrible tonight. Sometimes, she just doesn’t listen.

    In a shock, the bottom three are Adam, Kris, and Matt. Well, it’s not that much of a shock unless Adam is really in the bottom two. But at least Allison is safe.

    Kara says her mouth drops for Adam and she even showed us how. I think she meant that she’s in awe from his performing and is in shock when she saw him in the bottom three. Because if she meant the other way, Adam might be in shock on his own. And plus, this ain’t Paula and Corey Clark.

    Natalie Cole’s skeleton is performing. Ok, that was a bad joke now that I found out it’s because of Hep C and failing kidneys. She’s just way skinny, but she still sounded good.

    Taylor Hicks is back on stage and singing a track from his new album. I thought they kicked him out of the American Idol alumni along with Diana Degarmo, Blake Lewis, Kat McPhee, Sanjaya, and William Hung. I guess he’s back. And he looks older than ever.

    I’ll give it up for him though. If anyone reminds me of the kind of music Huey Lewis & The News was putting out when I was a kid, it’s Taylor. My youngest just told me that Taylor was “too Western” for his taste.

    Jamie Fox
    Jamie Fox
    Ok, now Kara can open her mouth again. Kris is sent over to the other group which leaves Matty Ballgame and Adam in the bottom two.

    Jamie Foxx is out performing everyone’s favorite excuse to touch a girl’s butt without her permission. According to Jamie, you can Blame It on the alcohol. Actually, I thought the song was originally written about Jamie being tricked by the club lights, taking someone home ugly early, and then the next morning using the goose and the henny as an excuse.

    Ryno tells Matty Ballgame that Carrie Underwood is going to sing him home sweet home. I’m sad to see Matty going home, but it’s time. Don’t feel badly for Matt, there’s a market for white dudes who can sing R&B.

    Tonight’s the night, I’m on my way, set me free, home sweet home.

    Photo of Jamie Foxx by Rafael Amado Deras and shared via creative commons.

  • American Idol Season 8 – Which Two Go Home Tonight?

    Because of Matty being saved last week, two folks will go home tonight. We’ll see if using the save on Matty will bite them in the rear as I think they had this week to use it if they hadn’t already.

    David Archuleta performs tonight. Woohoo! Please, please, please sing Crush tonight. I mean, um, ya, David Archuleta sings tonight.

    David Archuleta performs in Malaysia
    David Archuleta performs in Malaysia
    Paula choreographed the contestants for the group song tonight. The woman can still move like nobody’s business.

    They’re performing a one of my all time favorites, Shake Your Body Down To The Ground, and are trying to hit all the classic J5 moves. At least they tried. This was probably the most fun performance thus far. And all the dudes got to try their MJ falsetto.

    Let’s dance, let’s shout (clap), shake your body down to the ground.

    It’s time to get down to business. Lil Rounds isn’t showing off the badonkadonk like she was last night. Ryan sends her to the left side of the stage and just says that it’s the end of the road for her.

    She performs I’m Every Woman again. Paula says that Lil Rounds should’ve sang like that last night. Randall says it’s just the beginning for her. Simon says he’s going to miss her family screaming every week. Kara’s boobs are exploding as she leans forward. I didn’t even hear what she said.

    Freda Payne’s corpse is on stage singing Band Of Gold. I’m kidding. For someone in her mid-60’s, she looks pretty dang good. Her vocals were pretty shaky, but her moves were on point.

    She introduced Thelma Houston who looks very much like the lady in the bright canary yellow dress that they made fun of from a couple seasons ago. But her vocals were strong.

    I don’t know why I chuckled, but she introduced KC from KC & The Sunshine Band. Ok, now I know why I chuckled. He’s terrible. Where’s David Archuleta when you need him?

    Let’s get back to the second elimination tonight. Kris and Adam are safe. Danny is also safe. Anoop is not.

    Matty is safe and Allison is not. Ugh. This is why you keep the save. Allison is the second best contestant and doesn’t deserve to be hanging out with Anoop Doggy Dog.

    It’s Archie time and he’s doing Touch My Hand. The last time I saw him was on iCarly. Shows you what kind of television I watch these days. American Idol and iCarly – where amazing happens.

    I can’t even describe young Dave. When he came out, he looked like he’d been out on a 3 day drinking bender with Bo Bice. But then he came out smiling like he was at Disney Land for the first time. And then when he was done, he was completely out of breath. What a weird performance that was.

    If Allison goes home tonight, I’m going Kanye on everyone.

    This is bad, real bad Michael Jackson
    Now I’m mad, real mad Joe Jackson

    Thankfully, Anoopy is the one to go home. Allison lives to sing another day.

    Tonight, Carrie Underwood is singing Anoop and Lil Rounds, home sweet home.