Those of you who grew up in the Eighties (at least those of us darker than cardboard) have fond memories of the Motown film The Last Dragon. This latter-day kung-fu flick was cheesier than a Domino’s pizza, but had dialogue and action sequences that made you laugh until you puked up cereal. Starring Taimak (whose biggest film credit since was playing Janet Jackson’s love interest in the “Let’s Wait Awhile” video) and Prince’s ex-protege Vanity, you can still catch the movie on some random movie station at 2 A.M. every once in a while.

Now, this article states that Samuel L. Jackson is remaking the movie. All I’ve gotta say is that he better not try to legitimize a movie that absolutely can’t be played with any kind of seriousness at all. I’ll be curious to see who he gets to fill in the roles Taimak (Bruce Leroy) and Vanity (I forget her character’s name) played. Hey, something tells me that neither one of them is doing anything especially important right now. Maybe bring them back for cameos?The next question is-who does the theme song? I would suggest DeBarge, who scored the biggest hit from the soundtrack (and of their career) with “Rhythm of the Night”, but seems like El has been hanging out with the Crack Man and will now be rocking prison stripes to go with that Jheri curl, making him the 2307430784th DeBarge family member to be incarcerated. You’ve gotta love the mug shot (I’m repeating the one from his 2007 arrest…geez, the guy has more mug shots than albums), although it’s sad as hell to see what’s become of one of R&B’s best voices.