I think FOX should give Jason Castro his own show. The premise would be that he be given two classic songs to perform in front of a live studio audience. The goal would be to see how badly he would wreck those classic songs. The louder the crowd growns, the more money he gets. It would be car crash television at it’s best. I would call it Jason Castro Wrecks The Beatles~!. And yes, that’s a tilde bang.
After last night’s performances, if Jason Castro is still on the show next week, we might as well just give him the title. I was all for Sanjaya doing as well as possible because he entertained me. But Sanjaya was out of there midway through the season. Jason Castro doesn’t entertain me. His terrible singing, terrible facial expressions, pubic hair on his lip styled mustache, and Bill and Ted laugh all kill me. Bah! Let’s get on with this. Jason Castro, I quit you!
Ok, enough with the Castro hate. He’s just a kid. I know.
It’s showtime folks … (that was for Eddy Zucko)
– Boseph Bice and Maroon 5 are scheduled to perform tonight. I wonder if Adam Levine still looks like a waif model.
– Ryno brings out Big Dave Archuleta and Big Dave is as safe as Rickey Henderson stealing second base.
– Predictably, David Cook is also safe and that leaves us with Syesha and Jason Castro in the bottom two.
– I know I promised to not talk about the lame segment On The Air With American Idol, but one of the callers asked what the biggest challenge has been thus far and Castro said, “The brain being dead.” Unintentional comedy at it’s finest!
– By the way, the answer is yes, Adam Levine looks like a waif model. I’ve seen better shoulders on a wire hanger and those arms are the size of pipe cleaners. Thankfully, he can sing.
– I think Boseph Bice still hates me for turning on him after being a big fan for all of season four. And then, on finale night, I threw him under the bus and gave my allegiance to Carrie “Tony Romo Is A Virgin” Underwood. He just performed his new single and I think he gave me the stank eye.
– Jason Castro just said that someone told him that he shot the tambourine man yesterday. At the very least, this dude is hilarious tonight.
– More and more each week, Syesha is looking like a dead ringer for Ashley Banks. Where’s Carlton?
Where Is This Man?
– Ryno tells Syesha that she’s in the top three, which means that Big Rube is celebrating Jason Castro home.
– Jason Castro says he’s relieved because next week the top three perform three songs each and he wouldn’t know what to do having to memorize three songs. You can’t knock the guy’s honesty. And this week, he entertained me.
Seacrest out!
