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Tag: Lee Dewyze

  • Big In Germany – Idol Edition: “Superstars” Mark Medlock and Mehrzad Marashi Are On A Boat

    Back around maybe the second or third season of American Idol, when the show was becoming the established pop cultural phenomenon it is today, we started hearing about similar shows being developed by Lord of the Idols Simon Fuller and 19 Entertainment in other countries like Sweden and Poland and Indo(friggin)nesia. To date, there have been approximately 30 various Idol-esque franchises created around the world. I remember reading around that time about Kurt Nilsen, the first-season winner of Idols Norway – just how cool he seemed. He was a guitar player and unlike earlier seasons of American Idol, he could actually accompany himself on the show. I don’t remember that I ever heard him sing until he did a duet with Willie Nelson on the song “Lost Highway” in 2008 (at which point I was duly impressed), but I remember thinking that he sounded like – well, like an artist. Specifically, the kind of singing-songwriting-guitar-playing artist that our own American Idol showed seemed to hold in contempt.

    It’s easy to trash the pop we Americans produce because we’re fairly buried in it. And just like any landfill, you can bet that there are a few treasures in that giant mound of refuse (future ski-hill?), but the smell from the rest of it is way too powerful – even if we thought the Hope Diamond were buried in it, would that be enough for us to throw on the haz-mat suits and go digging? Instead, we see from a distance pretty flowers growing on what looks like a majestic purple mountain shrouded in the soft fog of an early spring morning, and we think: All those international Idol competitions are actually producing, real, good, legitimate stuff. Or at least better than that awful Kelly Clarkson that we’re stuck with. She’s never gonna last. (Editorial Note: This is my 2003-4 self speaking. In gross ignorance. I didn’t watch any of Season 1, and Clarkson hadn’t put out Breakaway yet, which I contend is one of the best start-to-finish pop records of the last decade. Carry on.)

    But maybe that majestic purple mountain is really just another gigantic, disgusting, depressing landfill, and maybe its shroud of early morning spring fog is really just a cloud toxic fumes rising out of it.

    Maybe it’s just my deeply ingrained musical Europhilia, but I think it’s always easy to fall into thinking that Europeans are just naturally more artsy than we are; that they’re more willing to hear songs in languages other than their first, more open to genuine weirdness in the name of art; and thus, easier to romanticize their Idols – Kurt Nilsen, for instance – as more talented, more legitimate, more worthy. But in 2010, American Idol‘s metamorphosis from mere singing competition to artist farm team is complete, a metamorphosis that probably began around the time of Taylor Hicks‘s win in Season 5 (the show’s peak ratings season, by the way) and has culminated with the coronation of an Idol, Lee DeWyze, not so very dissimilar from that chunky (for a Scandinavian) blonde troubadour from Norge; and this against Crystal Bowersox, a very white girl from Ohio, with white-girl dreadlocks, a serious Janis Joplin jones, a long-standing residency at one of her local pubs, and really bad teeth, who not only writes her own songs, but writes them well enough that one of them was actually featured in an Idol video package last week. American Idol has become the very epitome of the Idols I’d always imagined all those Euro Idols to be. (And yet, this season, I couldn’t have been less interested in watching it.)

    Meanwhile, the most recent winner of the German Idol equivalent Deutschland sucht den Superstar , 29-year-old Iranian-born singer Mehrzad Marashi has just released the follow-up to his debut, show finale single “Don’t Believe”, which is still charting in Germany’s Top 10 this week. The song, “Sweat (The A La La La La Long Song)” is a pop-reggae duet with openly gay former Superstar winner Mark Medlock, the German franchise’s most successful winner to date. If you are still harboring any romantic notions about the presumed artistic superiority of the artists developed by international (read: non-American) Idol franchises, let the video you’re about to see be your reality check.

    BTW: Marashi’s the one whose ridiculous, Guido-er-than-thou facial hair doesn’t form the weird trident points on his chin. And did I mention Medlock’s gayness? Also: Andy Samberg should sue.

  • American Idol Season 9 – And The Winner Is…

    Paula Abdul
    It’s time to see who is the season 9 winner of American Idol. However, it will take us over two hours to get here. Fox usually packs the finale show with performances, goofy skits, and video packages. Tonight, I have heard they’ll also give Simon Cowell a mighty send off. I just hope that they bring back Paula Abdul to help send him off.

    Tonight, let’s do the recap diary style.

    8:02 – It’s been 24 hours since last night’s performances and Lee still looks nervous.

    8:03 – Ryno Seacrest introduces the judges and Randall Jackson is wearing a suit that would make a pimp blush.

    8:06 – Alice Cooper performs School’s Out For Summer with the Top 12, and Siobhan (aka creepy little girl) stole his creepy thunder with her creepiness.

    (By the way Idol, way to understand your demographics with that one. Who’s next tonight, Ozzy Osbourne?)

    8:13 – Kris Allen is singing some new song and I’m still giving anyone 2-1 odds who doesn’t think he’s getting divorced soon. He has that look in his eyes that says he’s on the hunt for new meat.

    8:16 – We get our first Simon Cowell video package, which is a complete waste of time. But at least I got to see Paula.

    8:18 – Creepy little girl and Aaron Kelly are singing How Deep Is Your Love. She looks like she wants to eat him.

    8:19 – The beautiful Bee Gees came out to join them. Barry had to sing his lines to creepy girl, while poor Robin had to sing his to Aaron. That was awkward.

    8:26 – Big Mike Lynche and Michael McDonald are dueting Taking It To The Streets. If Taylor Hicks comes out right now doing his jig, I will smile largely.

    (By the way, Alice Cooper, the brothers Gibb, and Michael McDonald have been the celebrity performers so far, and McDonald is the youngest at a ripe age of 58. American Idol, on the cutting edge!)

    8:31 – Let’s take a moment of silence for Dane Cook’s career. Bow, there it is.

    8:34 – The top 6 girls came out to perform Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful. Lacy Brown led the way and all of America tried to remember if she was on the show or not.

    8:37 – Christina herself came out to sing and she’s still number one on my list of those who I’d request to sing me lullabies before I sleep. Rosie O’Donnell is last on that list by the way.

    (The roaming camera reached around to Christina’s backside, and I have to say that for a skinny girl, she’s got some junk in the trunk.)

    8:47 – The top 6 boys are singing Hall & Oates tunes, which leads me to think…

    8:49 – …that of course, Hall & Oates are coming out. I wonder if they’ll get Scott Savol to get on stage and sing She’s Gone? You think Scott’s persona non grata with Idol? All he did was beat his girlfriend. Come on people, where’s your forgiveness!

    (By the way, I might be the only Idol blog to mention Scott Savol’s name. I’ll do you one better. How about Corey Clark?

    8:51 – Darryl Hall looks like he hasn’t bathed in the year 2010.

    8:52 – Janelle Wheeler who was my favorite Idol contestant to look at, and who also dated Tim Tebow is hanging out with Crystal’s fans in Toledo, Ohio. But she’s not wearing those terrific pants that I love.

    This Girl Can Wear Some Pants

    8:53 – Crystal is out singing Ironic. Wait, does that mean Alanis Morrisette is coming out?

    8:54 – Of course it does! I think she’s making fun of Joey from Full House or something.

    9:01 – Carrie Underwood is performing. Do you remember what I said about Christina Aguilera being such a skinny girl and having junk in the trunk? Well, as far as having junk in the trunk, it’s the same for Carrie, only the opposite. She has one of the more famous cases of noassatall.

    9:08 – Casey James is out singing and Bret Michaels comes out. Wait, isn’t Bret Michaels sick? I have a feeling those guys are going carousing tonight.

    9:18 – Lee DeWyze and Chicago perform, and right after, Ryan throws it to Matt Rogers, the former football player who was on Idol many years ago. Rogers looks about 45 years old with a receding hair line. I don’t want to remember my Idols this way. Go away Matt, just go away.

    9:21 – General Larry Platt and a bunch of extras from the movie Step Up performed Pants On The Ground. Then William Hung joined the fray and let’s just say that he doesn’t speak English any better than you remember. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I enjoyed this better than Lee DeWyze and Chicago.

    9:29 – Yay! It’s Paula Abdul on stage!

    9:34 – Boo! Paula’s gone.

    9:35 – Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, and Fantasia Barrino all came out to sing with Simon. Ten bucks says that Taylor Hicks didn’t get invited.

    9:36 – Damnit! I owe you ten bucks.

    9:37 – Holy jeez! All the terrible ghosts of American Idol contestants past came out to sing for Simon. Mikalah Gordon done growed up. Constantine just winked at me!

    9:38 – Mysteriously absent was David Cook. And for that matter, Jennifer Hudson. Wait, she hates Simon.

    9:44 – The top 12 is out singing Janet Jackson’s Again. Wait, does that mean…

    9:45 – Of course it does! Miss Janet Jackson is on stage sans her weave. Her hair is amazingly short.

    9:49 – And the junk in the trunk award goes to, Janet Jackson. Holy cow. She’s now performing Nasty. And you know who choreographed that video.

    9:52 – I think Randall Jackson is in love.

    9:54 – Please answer this for me once and for all. Is the gap in Crystal’s teeth near the side of her mouth charming or a hot mess?

    10:01 – Ryno’s going to tease us about the results for about five minutes here.

    10:02 – Ok, I lied. He’s getting right to it. And Lee is terrified.

    10:03 – And the winner is… (aw man) Lee DeWyze!

    10:04 – Crystal isn’t a sore loser at all, but you have to think that she knows she was robbed heartily.

    10:05 – I just realized that Lee’s average cover of Beautiful Day is going to top the iTunes charts next week.

    10:06 – I also just realized that this show may be entirely different next year. Good night everyone.

    Paula Abdul photo shared via Wikipedia through the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

  • American Idol Season 9 – Who Makes The Final 2?

    To summarize last night’s show, Casey sucked, Crystal was good, and Lee was money. Now let’s get to business.

    (By the way, if anything I write from here on out is goofy, I blame the medicine the doctor prescribed for me for what she described as whooping cough. If you ever want to know what whooping cough feels like, cough 100 times in a row without stopping. Take a breath. And then do it again.)

    Ryno just asked Casey if he ever thought he’d be this far and if he thought that he’d win. He said no. Well, at least he agrees with the rest of us. Crystal said she envisioned herself winning. Lee said he wants to win. At least I think that’s what he said. He has a way with words. The only way I can describe how he answers a question is to pretend that answering a question directly is like walking in a straight line. Lee walks around in a circle, a squiggly line, does it backwards, and with his eyes closed.

    The first video package is of Casey James and his trip back home to Texas. He signed a guitar for the hospital that helped him heal after an accident. You got to see Casey’s mom who has hair like Reba McIntyre from 1990.

    Perez Hilton is on this show which has to be a sign of the apocalypse. He’s supporting a kid named Travis Garland who is another YouTube sensation like Justin Bieber. Perez just said he’s better than Justin Timberlake. I’ll go out on a limb and say that he’s not better than Justin Timberlake, nor Justin Bieber, or any of your friends named Justin who sing drunken karaoke.

    Next we see Crystal in Ohio. She was a guest at her own parade and performed at her own concert called Bowerstock.

    A friend asked me why she does the LeAnn Rimes eye squint and I think it’s a combination of being very tired and having heavy eye lids.

    Lee was able to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field for a Cubs game. Now that was cool. Lee went back to the paint store that he used to work at and cried. I think he cried tears of joy because he’ll more than likely never have to work there again.

    Those were some long video packages.

    Bieber-Mania Is Runnin’ Wild!
    And now, it’s Justin Bieber time! Woohoo! I mean, um, hey, Justin Bieber’s on stage.

    He reminds me a lot of Joe McIntyre from the New Kids On The Block. He just has to be able to get over the upcoming voice crack that will happen sometime this year. I will admit to buying Baby on iTunes for the kids. At the end of his performance, he grabbed some sticks and did a drum solo to show that he’s not your average pop idol. That was pretty cool.

    And finally, it’s time for someone to go home.

    Lee DeWyze is the first person to move on so it’s between Crystal and Casey. If Casey wins, we riot.

    Crystal Bowersox is going to the finals. We get Lee vs. Crystal for all the marbles next week.

    Don’t feel badly for Casey. Casey James is about to run rough shot through American Idol groupies like no one has done since Constantine. Fathers, be good to your daughters, and keep them away from Casey James for the next three months.

    So who is it going to be? Lee or Crystal?

    Photo shared via Wikipedia and through creative commons