There was a fleeting thought in my mind that maybe after four years off, Eminem could regain some of his former glory as one of the most talented and exciting rappers of our time. Well, if his new single, “Crack a Bottle”, is any indication, I won’t be holding my breath for a comeback from Slim Shady. Proving that he’s pretty much completely lost touch with who he was ten years ago, Em seems to be content to spit rhymes that sound great from a technical standpoint, but when you actually listen to what he’s saying, you’re like “THIS is what he’s rapping about?” A storyteller once on par with legends like Slick Rick, he’s become a parody of himself. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent recycling their typical cliche-ridden schtick doesn’t help, either. Nor does the lazy production and absolutely wack chorus. Actually, lazy is the best word to describe this whole travesty of a song. If this is the best Eminem has to offer, maybe he would have been better off had he retired like he was threatening to do after “Encore”.
Tag: Dr. Dre
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Not Necessarily The News – KFed, John Forte, 50 Cent and Britney Spears
There aren’t many moments in life that you get to write about KFed and John Forte in the same blog. This is one of those moments.
John Forte is trying to stay alive. (Billboard)
John Forte hasn’t been seen since he was stayin’ alive with Wyclef Jean. You still a small timer. Drug trafficking charges put him behind bars, but thanks to President George Bush he will be released on December 22 after serving only half his sentence.KFed says he’s still rooting for Brit. (E! Online)
What’s most interesting about KFed’s statement is that he admitted that the turning point in their marriage was when the kids were born.“For me, I’d become more concerned with my children. Not that I ignored Britney, but my kids are always most important…I mean, we were having complications.”
Word to KFed just in case he ever gets married again. Your wife is most important my friend. If you put the kids above her, it’s no wonder that your marriage dissolved. What an admission for those kids to read when they get older. Yep, your birth is the reason your parents got divorced according to your dad. These people need to get a clue. Either that, or don’t have kids.
Eminem is 50 Cent’s grandmother. (MTV.com)
50 Cent was trying to say how special it was to work with Eminem. 50 is in the UK shooting a movie and the plan is to go to Detroit to work with Eminem for both of their upcoming albums. He said that Em is like a relative to him, someone who’s done something for him. “He’s like my grandmother.” Huh? What does that make Dre? Grandpa?Britney’s dancers are drug tested. (E! Online)
Britney’s dancers are drug tested so that they are good influences for Britney. Shouldn’t Britney be the one that is drug tested? Well, she probably is too. Let’s just hope that they’re not testing for steroids, because all her male dancers would fail miserably. Oh, you thought they were natural? Don’t be so naive.Photo of 50 Cent by aleksey.const and shared via creative commons
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2007 Video Music Awards (VMAs) Random Thoughts
Right now, I have no cable until tomorrow. So what I’m actually doing is searching through YouTube to find the entire show. Just kidding. I taped it at the house and I’m watching it on delay. Except, I have to go on MTVs website to find Britney’s performance. But my sister already text messaged me to say how horrible it was. I don’t have high hopes.
- Wait, she even had to lip sync her own laugh?
- It kind of looks like she’s even lip synching the wrong lyrics.
- Is Britney brave or dumb to come out in her underwear while in less than Britney in underwear shape?
- Even 50 Cent looked appalled at her performance.
- Rihanna was like, “Yesterday’s newspaper …”
- They decided to hold the VMAs in the same Palms hotel that the horrendous “Real World Las Vegas” reunion show was held. This isn’t looking good.
- When Sarah Silverman’s 15 minutes of fame is up sometime next year, who is going to make fun of her?
- That’s what Mark Ronson looks like?
- Hey Alicia Keys, there’s a piano over there. This hosting thing isn’t for everyone.
- Rihanna just beat out about 20 nominees for the Monster Single of the Year. How about cutting it down to the top 5 next year?
- Kanye can’t get much wronger rockin’ out in the Hef suite.
- Justin Timberlake wins the Quadruple Threat Award, which is for people who do more than just make music. Wait, what else does Justin do again? Oh yah, Jessica made me watch Alpha Dogs.
- Kanye and 50 Cent present Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration and simply give each other the stink eye. But Kanye gets the better of it because Beyonce (the winner with Shakira) gave him a kiss.
- By the way, this just in. Beyonce is hot.
- Adam Levine has a helluva voice. But dude should try something called eating. His arms are the size of pipe cleaners.
- This just in. Chris Brown can dance.
- Hmm, I wonder who he got his moves from?
- He just showed us with his ode to Billy Jean.
- Was that Kriss Kross rappin’ in Kanye’s suite? Oh, it was someone named Soulja Boy.
- Shia Labeouf has a sweet porn stache.
- Fergie wins Female Artist of the Year and Labeouf says Luda is going to accept the award for Fergie and Luda just laughs and leaves him hanging. Shia was sweatin’ a little.
- Meagan looks like a Fox, but not better than Beyonce.
- Alicia Keys just showed the rest of the singers how to leave it all on the stage.
- Jamie Foxx outdoes LL Cool J’s 1993 awards show performance (14 Shots To The Dome) and drops the date of his new movie about 6 times (Sept. 28th if you missed it).
- So that’s what Dr. Dre has been doing rather than working on Detox. The dude has been drinking his protein shakes. He looked like he had shoulder pads on underneath his sweater. Dre, you don’t need no more testosterone man.
- With blond hair, Nelly Furtado looks like the spawn of Jessica Simpson and a young Madonna.
- Ok, someone needs to give Timbo a piss test too. What’s up with these producers? Do you really need big arms and shoulders to play drum machines?
- Britney might’ve received the most buzz, (well, Britney was probably the most buzzed) but Chris Brown and Alicia Keys stole the show.
