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Tag: Bret Michaels

  • American Idol Season 9 – And The Winner Is…

    Paula Abdul
    It’s time to see who is the season 9 winner of American Idol. However, it will take us over two hours to get here. Fox usually packs the finale show with performances, goofy skits, and video packages. Tonight, I have heard they’ll also give Simon Cowell a mighty send off. I just hope that they bring back Paula Abdul to help send him off.

    Tonight, let’s do the recap diary style.

    8:02 – It’s been 24 hours since last night’s performances and Lee still looks nervous.

    8:03 – Ryno Seacrest introduces the judges and Randall Jackson is wearing a suit that would make a pimp blush.

    8:06 – Alice Cooper performs School’s Out For Summer with the Top 12, and Siobhan (aka creepy little girl) stole his creepy thunder with her creepiness.

    (By the way Idol, way to understand your demographics with that one. Who’s next tonight, Ozzy Osbourne?)

    8:13 – Kris Allen is singing some new song and I’m still giving anyone 2-1 odds who doesn’t think he’s getting divorced soon. He has that look in his eyes that says he’s on the hunt for new meat.

    8:16 – We get our first Simon Cowell video package, which is a complete waste of time. But at least I got to see Paula.

    8:18 – Creepy little girl and Aaron Kelly are singing How Deep Is Your Love. She looks like she wants to eat him.

    8:19 – The beautiful Bee Gees came out to join them. Barry had to sing his lines to creepy girl, while poor Robin had to sing his to Aaron. That was awkward.

    8:26 – Big Mike Lynche and Michael McDonald are dueting Taking It To The Streets. If Taylor Hicks comes out right now doing his jig, I will smile largely.

    (By the way, Alice Cooper, the brothers Gibb, and Michael McDonald have been the celebrity performers so far, and McDonald is the youngest at a ripe age of 58. American Idol, on the cutting edge!)

    8:31 – Let’s take a moment of silence for Dane Cook’s career. Bow, there it is.

    8:34 – The top 6 girls came out to perform Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful. Lacy Brown led the way and all of America tried to remember if she was on the show or not.

    8:37 – Christina herself came out to sing and she’s still number one on my list of those who I’d request to sing me lullabies before I sleep. Rosie O’Donnell is last on that list by the way.

    (The roaming camera reached around to Christina’s backside, and I have to say that for a skinny girl, she’s got some junk in the trunk.)

    8:47 – The top 6 boys are singing Hall & Oates tunes, which leads me to think…

    8:49 – …that of course, Hall & Oates are coming out. I wonder if they’ll get Scott Savol to get on stage and sing She’s Gone? You think Scott’s persona non grata with Idol? All he did was beat his girlfriend. Come on people, where’s your forgiveness!

    (By the way, I might be the only Idol blog to mention Scott Savol’s name. I’ll do you one better. How about Corey Clark?

    8:51 – Darryl Hall looks like he hasn’t bathed in the year 2010.

    8:52 – Janelle Wheeler who was my favorite Idol contestant to look at, and who also dated Tim Tebow is hanging out with Crystal’s fans in Toledo, Ohio. But she’s not wearing those terrific pants that I love.

    This Girl Can Wear Some Pants

    8:53 – Crystal is out singing Ironic. Wait, does that mean Alanis Morrisette is coming out?

    8:54 – Of course it does! I think she’s making fun of Joey from Full House or something.

    9:01 – Carrie Underwood is performing. Do you remember what I said about Christina Aguilera being such a skinny girl and having junk in the trunk? Well, as far as having junk in the trunk, it’s the same for Carrie, only the opposite. She has one of the more famous cases of noassatall.

    9:08 – Casey James is out singing and Bret Michaels comes out. Wait, isn’t Bret Michaels sick? I have a feeling those guys are going carousing tonight.

    9:18 – Lee DeWyze and Chicago perform, and right after, Ryan throws it to Matt Rogers, the former football player who was on Idol many years ago. Rogers looks about 45 years old with a receding hair line. I don’t want to remember my Idols this way. Go away Matt, just go away.

    9:21 – General Larry Platt and a bunch of extras from the movie Step Up performed Pants On The Ground. Then William Hung joined the fray and let’s just say that he doesn’t speak English any better than you remember. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I enjoyed this better than Lee DeWyze and Chicago.

    9:29 – Yay! It’s Paula Abdul on stage!

    9:34 – Boo! Paula’s gone.

    9:35 – Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, and Fantasia Barrino all came out to sing with Simon. Ten bucks says that Taylor Hicks didn’t get invited.

    9:36 – Damnit! I owe you ten bucks.

    9:37 – Holy jeez! All the terrible ghosts of American Idol contestants past came out to sing for Simon. Mikalah Gordon done growed up. Constantine just winked at me!

    9:38 – Mysteriously absent was David Cook. And for that matter, Jennifer Hudson. Wait, she hates Simon.

    9:44 – The top 12 is out singing Janet Jackson’s Again. Wait, does that mean…

    9:45 – Of course it does! Miss Janet Jackson is on stage sans her weave. Her hair is amazingly short.

    9:49 – And the junk in the trunk award goes to, Janet Jackson. Holy cow. She’s now performing Nasty. And you know who choreographed that video.

    9:52 – I think Randall Jackson is in love.

    9:54 – Please answer this for me once and for all. Is the gap in Crystal’s teeth near the side of her mouth charming or a hot mess?

    10:01 – Ryno’s going to tease us about the results for about five minutes here.

    10:02 – Ok, I lied. He’s getting right to it. And Lee is terrified.

    10:03 – And the winner is… (aw man) Lee DeWyze!

    10:04 – Crystal isn’t a sore loser at all, but you have to think that she knows she was robbed heartily.

    10:05 – I just realized that Lee’s average cover of Beautiful Day is going to top the iTunes charts next week.

    10:06 – I also just realized that this show may be entirely different next year. Good night everyone.

    Paula Abdul photo shared via Wikipedia through the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

  • Bret Michaels: “You’re Hired!”

    Bret Michaels took home the top prize on this season of Celebrity Apprentice, although the show’s sponsor Snapple agreed to a matching $250,000 donation to the show’s second place finisher Holly Van Peete, who was playing for her own foundation for autism research. It was a great cap to a crazy couple of months for the former hair metal demi-god who’s been hospitalized repeatedly for various ailments, most recently this week for a “warning stroke”, which cast doubt on whether he would be able to appear on the show’s live season finale tonight. He was there, and looking a little gaunt, but otherwise fighting fit.

    All that said, maybe the greatest moment of the show, for me, was catching a glimpse of PiL’s John Lydon in the audience giving a standing ovation for Snapple’s decision to award a prize to both finalists. (See about 0:58 of the video below.)

  • Paul’s Sunday Brunch Buffet – The Warning Stroke Edition, May 23, 2010

    The Donald Trump could hardly have wished for a better Celebrity Apprentice contestant than former Poison frontman Bret Michaels. Not only has the guy proven an able contestant, landing himself in the final two by a combination of unharnessed creativity, fierce motivation, and an endlessly endearing lack of pretension, he’s also demonstrated an admirable sense of personal accountability and a willingness to accept feedback and learn from it. Fellow contestant Rod Blagojevich could’ve learned a thing or two from Mr. Michaels. Michaels knows who he is – and he’s no brain surgeon – but if he’s not saving lives, so to speak, in his chosen profession, he’s clearly made a choice to contribute to the saving of lives by staying in Trump’s game, and staying focused even when his personal life threatened his ability to stay on. And all this in a season which saw some supposed winners (for shame, Darryl Strawberry) check out early.

    This week, Bret Michaels gave The Donald the kind of unexpected bonus only the most cynical Goldman Sachs exec could envy when he was hospitalized – again – after experiencing what doctors call a transient ischemic attack, but what the rest of us call a “warning stroke”. Further tests revealed that he has a “hole in his heart”. (Cue the Extreme song!) All of which has added a new layer of suspense to tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice live season finale in which Michaels could very well win the show’s top prize for his charity, the American Diabetes Association. As a diabetic myself, and a former non-fan of Poison, Bret Michaels – I salute you!

    Celebrity Apprentice was less kind to 80s songstress Cyndi Lauper, who, like comedienne (and first firee) Carol Leifer, seemed especially vulnerable to the “mean girl” politics of Team Tenacity. In one episode, pro-wrestler Maria Kanellis expressed frank disappointment when she discovered that her childhood hero was actually a person with three dimensions, human feelings, and, as a project manager, could be firm, driven, and demanding. Cyndi was also fighting a good fight close to this writer’s home. Her True Colors Fund works to advance equal rights for the LGBT community. When she was fired a couple of weeks ago, she was clearly frustrated and disappointed by the decision. And so was I. I was really hoping for a endgame rematch of the season’s first challenge in which Lauper and Michaels faced off as their respective teams’ project managers. (Bret won that one, although Cyndi won as project manager in the same episode in which Kanellis griped about her bossiness as a boss.) Here’s a song from Cyndi’s 1993 album Hat Full of Stars which, like Cyndi herself on this show, has gone woefully underappreciated. Written with the Hooters’ Eric Bazilian and Rob Hyman (who plays their band’s namesake keyboard on this song), “That’s What I Think” is, to my mind, one of Lauper’s best singles, and sounds like a fitting post-mortem to her adventures in Trump’s parallel universe.

    When the original line-up of 80s prog-rock-meets-pop-rock supergroup Asia reunited three years ago to commemorate the 25th Anniversary of their classic self-titled debut album, nobody expected it to last, given the band’s tumultuous first run. In fact, the reunion did run into some adversity early on, but not from dueling egos. Both singer John Wetton and drummer Carl Palmer were hospitalized for heart problems. Both came out okay, and the reunion lasted long enough to yield a miserable dud of an album called (with unintentional irony) Phoenix in 2008. Lucky for the band, and for their fans (myself included), the reunion has also lasted long enough to put out a “sophomore” record Omega. And Omega is spectacular. The record, which hit stores a couple weeks ago, re-embraces and further advances the critically-derided formula upon which they first built their brand – four minute pop songs, performed monumentally – with a fiery intensity. The album’s first single is “Finger on the Trigger”, maybe the most straightforward classic-rock sounding song they’ve ever put out. Freaking Asia. As Wetton sings on the first chorus: We got a good thing going on. Damn straight, they do.

    One band that won’t be reuniting any time soon is the Norwegian pop trio a-ha who, earlier this month, played their first North American concerts in more than 20 years as part of their “Ending On a High Note” farewell tour. Though a-ha will always be best known to American audiences as the one hit wonder behind “Take On Me”, the group has put out nine studio albums including last year’s Keane-ish Foot of the Mountain and remains popular throughout the world. Meanwhile, Rhino Records has just announced the upcoming release of a new a-ha singles compilation and deluxe edition remasters of a-ha‘s first two albums, 1985’s Hunting High and Low and the following year’s Scoundrel Days, which will only be available to U.S. customers via the label’s website website. Here’s a 2008 live performance of their 1987 hit “Manhattan Skyline” from the Scoundrel Days record. This song’s Jeckyll & Hyde combo of sweetly yearning synth pop verse and raging hard rock chorus blew me away back when I was in the 7th grade. Wave good-bye…

    Another crucial album getting the deluxe treatment from Rhino this spring is The Cure‘s massive 1989 album Disintegration. The rest of the band’s early catalog, up to the 1986 collection Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, had already been reissued a couple years ago, but fans have had to wait this one out. And while most Cure die-hards will agree it’s not their best record, it remains one of their most important – not just within their own body of work, but in terms of bringing “alternative” music to a mainstream audience. Unlike the band’s previous album which yielded a trio of short, sunny pop singles (“Hot! Hot! Hot!”, “Just Like Heaven”, and “Why Can’t I Be You?”), Disintegration is one of their densest, darkest, dirgiest records – one which explored failing relationships and lead singer Robert Smith’s insecurities about aging with an often nightmarish candor. Still, it became their most commercially successful and iconic record. At a time when hair metal still ruled the airwaves, the pop success of songs like the grimly atmospheric “Fascination Street”, and the lovely, understated “Love Song” helped to prime radio for the darker still confessions of Cobain and Staley.

    The Swedish pop duo Roxette have been playing shows across Europe and working on a new album all spring, hoping to complete the record this fall for an early 2011 release. It’s been almost 10 years since singer-songwriters Per Gessle and Marie Fredriksson have released a full length album. In the interim they’ve put out a handful of singles and greatest hits comps, and both have worked on solo projects. Gessle put out a 2008 solo album called Party Crashers, and while Fredriksson also issued a solo album – 2004’s The Change – her most important solo project has been staying alive, following the discovery and diagnosis of a malignant brain tumor in 2002. Of their recent live shows, Per Gessle said in a recent interview: “Both Marie and myself want a total live situation these days, no click tracks, no sequencers or computers on stage… Lots of ad lib, great harmonies and silly jokes in the dressing rooms.” Sounds like classic Roxette to me.
    Roxette: #Almost Unreal#

    And finally, this week marked the passing of legendary jazz pianist Hank Jones at the age of 91. Here he is in a solo performance, a young man of 75. Until next week…