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  • It’s time for America’s Got Talent!

    It’s time for America’s Got Talent!

    It’s June! That means it’s time for America’s Got Talent!

    I have to confess that NBC’s general talent show, America’s Got Talent, is kind of a guilty pleasure for me. Generally speaking, I don’t like to watch talent shows. I don’t watch American Idol, X Factor, or The Voice. I did get into So You Think You Can Dance a few years ago, but lost interest in it. Frankly, even America’s Got Talent can get boring after awhile. It’s definitely no Star Search. However, early every summer, I am lured to America’s Got Talent like a moth to a flame because I love to watch the auditions. I missed the first episode last week because our TV was on the fritz. So I watched the premiere last night on NBC.com and I have to say, I was driven to laughs and tears all within the space of about 90 minutes.

    What I love about America’s Got Talent is that it provides an outlet for all those people who do really cool or interesting things and don’t otherwise have an outlet for their talents. I mean, there are several shows out there for singers and a couple for dancers, but on America’s Got Talent, you could literally see anything. And sometimes the failed auditions are more entertaining than the successful ones.


    Miu GaGa from Japan was unsuccessful, but a riot nonetheless!

    The first act in last week’s premiere was a guy who plays with rattlesnakes. He blew up a red balloon and goaded a very pissed off eastern diamondback rattlesnake into popping it while he held it between his lips. Like most everyone else watching this act, I was on the edge of my seat, almost as tense as the angry snake about to strike. Fortunately, the performer was successful in executing his trick and won a spot to Las Vegas. Later in the show, there was a guy named Special Head who suddenly won over a hostile audience when he apparently levitated right before their very eyes. Now, I know there’s got to be a trick to this, since I saw a couple of guys doing something similar when I was in Rome last month, but it was still a great act. And I would not have seen it on a show that is only about singing or dancing.


    David Weathers “the snake guy” and his rattlesnake wow the crowd…


    Special Head and his “uplifting” act…

    I also like this year’s two new judges, Heidi Klum and Mel B. (aka Scary Spice of the Spice Girls). I thought I would really miss the marvelous Sharon Osbourne, who had been judging the show since 2007 (the first year I watched). But I have to hand it to Heidi and Mel B. They were great! I especially enjoyed hearing Heidi Klum yodel (she’s surprisingly good at it). I also enjoy Howard Stern and Howie Mandel, who bring a lot of comic relief to the show and seem to have chemistry. Nick Cannon took over hosting duties from Jerry Springer a few years ago and he is a dynamite emcee. As much as I like Jerry, I think Nick Cannon has him beat in the charm department. He’s great at bolstering the crowd, whether it’s after an act that got X’ed or an act that won them over.


    Here’s Nick helping out Sponjetta Parrish in 2011… Watch what happens when Nick gets involved and Sponjetta gets X’ed. I bet Sponjetta will never forget that as long as she lives!


    Nick Cannon helps Tone the Chiefrocca whip the crowd into a frenzy… Everyone was loving it!

    So far, there have also been a couple of impressive singers. I have to admit, 47 year old Kentuckian Marty Brown’s singing actually brought me to tears…


    Not only is he a great singer, but he also has a sweet story. He managed to silence a rowdy crowd, too.


    10 year old Anna Christine has the voice of a 30 year old woman who’s been around the block a few times. She plays piano, too.

    I don’t know if I’ll keep watching until the winner is named, but I do really enjoy the audition phase of America’s Got Talent. The next audition show on America’s Got Talent airs tonight on NBC at 9:00 eastern time. Now that the TV is fixed, I will be watching!

  • Guilty pleasures

    Guilty pleasures

    Some songs are just plain guilty pleasures…

    I may lose what little street cred I ever had by admitting that I kind of like Paris Hilton’s minor hit song from 2006, “Stars Are Blind”. Like a lot of people, I scoffed when I heard Paris Hilton, formerly famous for being a beautiful heiress who made a sex tape, had made an album. I didn’t bother to listen to it when it was popular because I figured it would suck. Then one day, I ran across a parody video on YouTube…

    The parody was made by omovies and featured on YouTube during the summer of 2007, around the time Paris Hilton was serving time in a Los Angeles jail for reckless driving on a suspended license. I thought the parody was funny and I found that I kind of enjoyed the song’s reggae beat. It made me curious about the original, so I went looking for “Stars Are Blind” on YouTube.

    While I do think I like the parody better, mainly because the person singing it has a much better voice and the video is more fun to watch, I will confess that “Stars Are Blind” is not a bad effort at all. I’ve certainly heard much worse. I now count “Stars Are Blind” as one of my many guilty pleasures.

    It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Paris Hilton can sort of sing. Her mother, Kathy, was an actress back in the 70s and even tried out for the part of “Fake Jan” on The Brady Bunch Hour. Since this post is about guilty pleasures, I will confess that all things Brady, especially The Brady Bunch Hour, are guilty pleasures for me. Kathy Hilton lost the part of “fake” Jan Brady to Geri Reischl, who evidently has a better singing voice. Come to think of it, she also has a better singing voice than “Real Jan”, Eve Plumb. I’m sure that Kathy Hilton feels like she dodged a bullet by not being part of the pure weirdness that was The Brady Bunch Hour.


    You can hear “Fake Jan” sing on this clip from the truly bizarre The Brady Bunch Hour.

    You know who else was involved in the Brady Bunch Hour? Susan Buckner, famous for her role as “Patty Simcox” in the 1978 film, Grease, was one of the bizarre synchronized swimmers/divers featured on The Brady Bunch Hour. The Osmonds had ice skaters; The Bradys had Esther Williams like bathing beauties. And hey, former champion swimmer and movie star Esther Williams died yesterday, so this post is even a little bit topical!

    Pop music is full of guilty pleasure songs. Consider the early 1990s, when there were two very similar songs out…


    There was Tag Team’s “Whoomp There It Is”…


    And there was 95 South’s “Whoot There It Is”…

    They are sort of marginally different, I guess. I probably couldn’t tell the difference between the two unless I really concentrated. I will admit the chorus is very catchy, though. When these songs were popular, I was working as the cook at a church summer camp and one of the teenaged guys who worked as a dish washer used to sing these songs all the time. And now, they are guilty pleasures, though I don’t feel guilty about turning them off when they inevitably start to grate on my nerves.

    Then a few years later, the Baha Men came out with “Who Let The Dogs Out”, a song that I initially found kind of infectious but later got really sick of hearing. Maybe it’s because it sounds so much like either “Whoot There It Is” or “Whoomp There It Is”.

    I also got sick of “The Macarena”, though it was a guilty pleasure when I first heard it. It has a beat you can dance to; heck, the song is about a dance! How could you not love that? Every time I hear it, it reminds me of Istanbul, Turkey. I happened to be there on vacation in 1996 when this song apparently hit big. So instead of Spanish dancers, I think of Turks.


    I never did learn how to do The Macarena properly.

    You know what the ultimate guilty pleasure is? “MmmBop” by Hanson. I have to admit, I kind of like this song, even though it’s pure pop and consists of about four chords. This morning, someone on my Facebook said his wife actually rang off a phone call because “MmmBop” had come on the radio and she wanted to listen to it.


    I never did learn how to roller blade, either.

    Here’s an ironic twist. “The Macarena” is a song by Spanish singers that reminds me of Turkey. “MmmBop” is a song by adolescent Americans that reminds me of Spain. It happened to be very popular when I was visiting Barcelona in 1997, so now every time I hear it, I think of that city.

    I do like “good” music that has a message or is performed by someone with legitimate talent. But I have to admit a weakness for the bizarre, the inane, and the ridiculous. Most of the songs profiled in this post fit that description very well and qualify easily as guilty pleasures. And since it’s Friday, here’s another guilty pleasure song to kick off your weekend.

  • #1 album of 2012 – Earth! by the Agony Family

    #1 album of 2012 – Earth! by the Agony Family

    Artist: Agony Family

    Album: Earth!

    The Agony Family’s Earth! is an album of mainstream impulses. It’s pleasant, it’s easy to like (if you don’t recoil at synthesizers and glossy guitar in your pop music), but it’s a tough sell as something truly great, and as my favorite album of a strong musical year. I’ll make multiple awkward agony_family_earthstabs at it. My first is to discuss a pop song I wish I could like more than I do, the biggest hit song of 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe.

    For 28 seconds, it could be Jepsen’s voice singing a milder Agony Family song. The gently percussive bowed strings; a vocal melody that covers a modest range but darts around it in not-quite-predictable ways; the beginnings of a quiet drum machine part that clicks and ducks around the obvious beat as the singer gets a small bit more intense; the whooshing noise building up for the next section of music.  Statistically, there’s a good chance you like what happens next a lot better than I do: over 32 seconds, over a metronome-simple beat, she sings the exact same four-measure melodic sequence four times in a row, ending each repetition with “So call me maybe”.

    She returns directly to the verse melody. The melody’s a bit lazier this time, but that itself is variety, and the strings are augmented by a busier, still-soft drum machine; it’s nice. Then she sings that four-measure chorus melody four *more* times, each time ending in “So call me maybe”, and perhaps the arrangement isn’t a literal cut-and-paste from the first four times, but that’s what it sounds like to me. A 16-second vocal bridge repeats a barely-different melody, though the delivery’s more intense and there’s a welcome staggering of the rhythm; for 8 seconds the strings are brought up loud for the first time and her voice echoes and bounces; the Agony Family could have produced those 24 seconds, why not? It leads into her four-measure chorus being sung once over different backing music, at least. Then she sings that chorus melody four more times in a row. With pretty much the same old backing music. Earning a small gold star for only saying “Call me maybe” on *three* of them.

    Part of my issue — you’ve guessed this, yes? — is that I don’t want to hear the exact same 8 seconds of melody thirteen times in a three-minute song. Especially with the metronomic beat, doing its best to literalize the feeling of having it pounded into my skull. But the lyrics annoy me too. “I’ve just met you/ and this is crazy/ but when you and your fiancee get married next month/ I’m going to slash my wrists in front of you so you feel guilty about choosing her” would live up to its billing. “This is crazy”, said about inviting an interesting stranger to call you, is boringly false — unless he has, say, a government-mandated forehead tattoo announcing POOR IMPULSE CONTROL. “So call me maybe” is coy and equally false. It might not be with a different delivery, cracked with pauses, the “maybe” mumbled barely audibly as the speaker remembers, oh wait, possible rejection is terrifying. But Jepsen can handle that risk, she can assert her confidence every 8 seconds; and since that confidence is healthy, why gigglingly pretend to something weaker every 8 seconds?

    Feel free to disagree. I own enough They Might Be Giants, XTC, and Loud Family records to prove I can enjoy self-undermining too as long as it’s clever, witty, or idiosyncratic. But the Agony Family traffic in absolute sincerity, in a fearlessly complete rejection of coyness and irony that I can’t help admiring. And musically, their songs evolve and build in ways that, while always organic-feeling, are careful to make every second matter. The verses are as interesting and melodic as the choruses. So are the pre-choruses. Sometimes the bridge or the coda takes on a life of its own and makes a case for itself as the song’s truest center. Sometimes the backing vocals do; sometimes the instrumental hooks do. (And while I’m not personally the audience for guitar solos somewhere between Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour and Bon Jovi’s Richie Sambora, the solos are short and also very good). The rhythms are 4/4, but all the basic tricks like syncopation and grace notes and rolling triplets and arpeggiation and tremolo are used to make 4/4 involving: Earth! is among other things excellent dance music, the pulse firm but giving a body prompts worth new responses.

    So, uh… what do they *sound* like? As I’ve hinted, they’re rather ’80s-sounding — though Pitchfork-aware young’uns among you can imagine M83 working with Arcade Fire instead, or Cloud Cult picking up tricks from Robyn — but they incorporate many things. Synthesizers and guitar gloss especially, but also plenty of piano, bowed agony_familystrings, vocal harmonies and duets, arena-metal bass and drums. To make U2 a comparison point, you’d need the sonic innovation of Achtung Baby, the widescreen depth of Joshua Tree, and the naive urgency of Boy all at once. The cinematic triumphalism of Vangelis, the lurking creativity of Some Great Reward-era Depeche Mode, and the cool of Donald Fagen’s the Nightfly would all be relevant to their synthesizers. Runner shares a genre with Total Eclipse of the Heart; I Stop Clocks is like Coldplay with an actual song inspiring and egging on their sonics; Rebuild Yourself is two minutes of blunt-force heavy metal as geeky motivational jingle. These too-simple comparisons are coming out badly; I will stop them. I should mention There Again, though, the cyborg sounds and rapping on which are the album’s only goofiness: it’s my favorite song here, both for its fun and because it proves their seriousness is a choice. There Again is still a basically serious (and melodic) song, though.

    What are they serious about? Introspective outsider adolescent romantic things. (Lead singer/keyboardist Greg Scalera’s voice is good for this: flexible, impassioned, and on-pitch but sorta nasal and geeky, like if John Linnell had fronted Simple Minds instead of They Might Be Giants. The various female singers brought in are reliably outstanding in a more traditional Ellen Foley or Broadway-lead manner.) Their romanticism isn’t mine — I’m afraid that if I’d written passionate teenage songs they’d’ve been about Detroit Tigers infielders, progressive tax rates, or the twists and perils of interplanetary diplomacy — but it’s theirs, which is what matters. There’s the desire for escape. There’s devoted love. There’s a non-blaming approach to failed love, in several songs. There’s the urge to self-improvement. There’s early awareness of death, and for a multi-racial New Jersey band I can’t assume it’s goth posery, although it’s got that sort of morbid yearning.

    I don’t quite get how this 96-minute double CD earns the title Earth!, but they step outside themselves long enough to sing nostalgically about a love in 1973 (when none of the band members existed); long enough to summarize a soldier’s career with the harsh sympathy of “Go ahead, see the world, tear it to pieces/ Go ahead, see the world, but never forget what you did”. If I like Scalera’s lyrics, it’s not because they read like anything special (they don’t), but because of who’s singing them; because the singers care enough about them to refract and re-use phrases across different songs and contexts; and because it’s all to such splendid music.

    Double-cd’s are hard to rate, but even the songs I like least here — oddly, the first four songs on disc one — are fine. Make me compress Earth! to half its length, and it’s still my favorite album of 2012 if I’m choosing which songs. I didn’t expect it to be this year’s #1 for most of the countdown; it’s likable, but it doesn’t seem extraordinary. Until every measure of its running length has been allowed, enough times, to play its own distinct part.

    – Brian Block

    To see the rest of our favorites, visit our Favorite Albums of 2012 page!