I had no use for Lady GaGa just a few short months ago. Her songs were mindless dance-pop, I didn’t think she had any discernible talent, and she was a protege of Akon, one of my least favorite “artists” in any genre. She’s also Perez Hilton-endorsed, and Perez is the gay equivalent of T-Pain, who sets black folks back about 200 years.
I’ve gotta admit, though, she’s winning me over. First, there was her bizarre VMAs performance. It confused the shit out of me, but it was at least artistic. Then there was her “SNL” performance, during which she actually sang well and played piano, something most of today’s pop divas (hello, Britney) are incapable of doing. Then there’s the fact that thanks to the likes of Christopher Walken and Marlee Matlin, “Poker Face” has buried itself in my head and won’t leave. Yeah, yeah, I’m late. So what?
Anyway, her label is doing one of my least favorite things ever and re-releasing her album “The Fame” with extra bonus tracks. That pisses me off, because you basically force fans who came out and supported the album the first time around to buy the album again. I think that’s doing your fans a huge disservice. Anyway, the album’s first single is “Bad Romance”. Taken by itself, it’s okay. I mean, the lyrics are clever, but it’s not a great song. This video, though. Man, it’s some kinda surreal. It’s one of those things you can’t turn away from. I give the lady props for having more artistic vision than your average dance diva. I won’t go as far as to call her the next Madonna yet, but she has promise.
Wish there was something that could be done about her butterface, though.
In my roundup of this week’s new releases, I inadvertently left off Britney Spears’ “The Singles Collection”. As advertised, this compilation rounds up Ms. Spears’ numerous hit singles and adds the new single “3”, which made history when it became the first single this decade not by an “American Idol” finalist to debut at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart.
I really didn’t mean to leave this off, but I can’t help but think this collection is completely unnecessary. After all, Britney’s LAST greatest hits collection appeared just five years ago, in 2004. Since then, Britney’s released a grand total of two studio albums. Is it really time for another Britney anthology, or is this being put out knowing that her extremely gullible fans will purchase anything with her name on it?
Let me say for the record, I’m not a Britney hater. She has a couple of good songs and is fairly harmless as far as pop singers go, but enjoying her music isn’t the same as saying she’s talented. Because she isn’t. And I’m not a pop music basher, as anyone who regularly reads this site is well aware of. But…I guess I don’t understand the Britney fixation. How has someone like this lasted for a decade? I mean, let’s face facts. She’s not especially attractive (and her public exploits have completely destroyed any residual cuteness from her early days), she can’t sing a lick, and her dancing and public persona are both on loan from Madonna. Granted, these same arguments have been used against Madonna and Janet Jackson, but there’s really no comparison. While neither of them have Patti LaBelle-style vocals, they can both carry a tune. They generally write and co-produce their own music (although considering neither of them has released a great album this decade, that may not be saying much), and they also both sing live at their shows, with the exception of the odd major production number. I’ve never seen Britney in concert, but I can’t recall the woman singing live in any of the myriad TV performances she’s done, and it’s widely stated that she doesn’t sing live during her shows. I would love for someone to isolate her mic at a show, put it on Youtube and see if anything actually comes out of her mouth.
‘Cause I’m sorry, if I’m spending money to see someone in concert, I don’t want the record to be playing in the background. For that, I could have easily just stayed my ass home.
But perhaps the last laugh is on her fans, those people who’ve paid hundreds of dollars to see her show. As noted social critic John Mayer tweeted not too long ago: ““If you’re shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you.”
As far as November weeks go for music, this is a pretty light one, but there’s still some pretty high-wattage stuff going on in terms of releases. A light week for me means that I’ll go to the record store and walk out with 2 CDs instead of 5. Here’s what you’ll find on the new release shelves when those doors open.
Bon Jovi -“The Circle”- I was just reading a review in the New York Daily News by Jim Farber (who makes me throw up in my mouth usually) in which he calls “The Circle” Bon Jovi’s “serious” album and says that it’s basically a letter to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame asking for induction (Jovi’s first album came out in ’84). Farber apparently wasn’t listening to “Keep the Faith” when it came out in ’91). Anyway, I think Bon Jovi is basically a singles band-I own “Slippery When Wet”, “New Jersey” and their greatest hits and am totally fine with that. Nevertheless, they have some serious diehard fans, including one in particular that will probably come to Boston and shoot me in the face if I say anything bad about the album. So, um, yeah! New Bon Jovi album! Woohoo!!
Wale -“Attention: Deficit”: I always get this guy and Kid Cudi confused. DC-reared Wale is the latest of the Kanye disciples to release an album. Allegedly, this guy’s a pretty good lyricist. I say “allegedly” because I’ve never heard the guy rap outside of his stint as the house entertainment at the VMAs earlier this year. This does look pretty eclectic for a hip-hop album though-among the producers are Mark Ronson (of Amy Winehouse fame) and Dave Sitek (the white dude from TV on the Radio) and the guest features include Lady GaGa. Interesting.
The Jackson 5- “I Want You Back!: Unreleased Masters”: It amazes me that there is still unreleased stuff in the Motown vaults. You would think that Berry Gordy would have cashed in and released all that stuff ages ago. Anyway, this-the first worthwhile musical thing to be released in the wake of Michael’s passing-contains a heap of previously-unearthed music alongside alternate takes of “Dancing Machine” and the Motown hits medley that Mike and his brothers have trotted out for just about every public appearance. Some of this stuff is available for listening on the J5 website and it’s pretty darn good.
Dashboard Confessional -“After the Ending” : Dashboard Confessional’s music has always struck me as, basically, “whine whine whine whine whine”. Do I really need to hear Chris Carrabba crying on every single album. I tried to get into Dashboard once when “Screaming Infidelities” was a hit and then again after a song made its’ way onto “Scrubs”, but no dice. As emo as I may be in real life, I don’t want to hear that shit coming out of my stereo. Anyway, this album is produced by Adam Schlesinger of Fountains of Wayne and Tinted Windows fame. This unholy alliance actually piques my interest a little bit.
Switchfoot-Hello Hurricane: These guys are still around? The quasi-Christian band who brought us hits like “Meant to Live” and “Dare You to Move” are back (and still on a major label, too! Good for them!). Their new album is produced by an unlikely collaborator-Mike Elizondo. Elizondo first gained fame as a Dr. Dre associate before moving on to produce for acts ranging from Fiona Apple (and where is she?) and Jason Mraz. If you’re into this type of thing, it might be worth checking out.
After those titles, the pickin’s get slim. There’s a Tori Amos Christmas album (which is apparently not a Christmas album and more of a solstice album. Fuck you, same shit). There’s also a Wyclef Jean collaboration with noted mixtape king DJ Drama (I guess ‘Clef executive-producing that T.I. album paid off). Let’s see, what else…ah yes! Overseas, Spandau Ballet is releasing their first album in twenty years! Perfect reason for me to close this column with a Spandau video. Enjoy, kids!!
Oh, and a full list of this week’s releases can be found here.