Sometimes relationships end and inspire breakup songs…

Over the long weekend, I had occasion to break up with a “friend” from childhood, someone I have known for most of my life. Over the years, we had grown apart and become more “frenemies” than friends. She’s actually the one who got me to join Facebook, but we rarely interacted. When we did interact, it wasn’t necessarily pleasant. In fact, a few years ago, I had started filtering her posts because I found that they had a tendency to raise my blood pressure. More than once over the years, I had thought about unfriending her because it seemed like we had nothing in common anymore. I didn’t do it, because I thought there might be unpleasant fallout and it didn’t seem worth the potential trouble.

Yesterday, I finally took the plunge. As I sit here writing this, it seems kind of ridiculous. I mean, it’s Facebook, right? But Facebook has changed how people interact with each other. It seems like everybody has a computer now and that’s how many people communicate. In the past, when relationships died, there might be a blow up. Or the death of the relationship might be quiet, as people gradually stopped seeing each other. Nowadays, you may find out you’re not friends anymore when you get dumped on Facebook. It’s happened to me, too.

I decided to drop this person from my online life when I got the sense that she was just connected to me because she wanted to see what I was up to. I realized that the relationship had died when I found out from a third person from our hometown that my former friend had a baby. I didn’t even know she had been pregnant. Later, I found evidence that she had her Facebook privacy settings fixed so that she could see me, but I couldn’t see her. I don’t know why she would hide her pregnancy from me. I would never begrudge someone having a child… except maybe Michelle Duggar. Then I realized her pregnancy was none of my business. After careful thought, I decided it was time to part ways with this person with as little drama as possible.

Anyway, I find that music helps me heal when my feelings get hurt. The very first song that came to mind when I decided to break up with my ex friend was a classic by Harry Nilsson…

“You’re Breakin’ My Heart” by Harry Nilsson is a great song about breaking up. The melody is powerful and almost fun, with profane lyrics that invoke the f-word. Since I was pretty angry when I found out what this so-called friend had done, it seemed highly appropriate.

The next song that came to mind was one by British singer, Lily Allen. I recently decided that I need to familiarize myself more with Lily Allen’s music because I find her both hilarious and refreshing…

I read somewhere that this song was actually inspired by George W. Bush. However, it also works when you’re breaking up with someone who disgusts you somehow. Lily Allen sings about someone who is racist, hateful, and homophobic– maybe that applies to George Bush. But it can also apply to someone who does nasty things.

Kate Miller-Heidke’s hilarious “Are You Fucking Kidding Me” is about a romantic breakup…

but given that it’s about Facebook friend requests, I think it’s entirely fitting for this situation.

If you want to go silly, yet old school, you could always pull out Rick Dees’ hilarious classic “Eat My Shorts”…

I was so glad to find this on YouTube. I remember hearing it on radio shows in the 1980s, but had a hard time finding it. Thank goodness for YouTubers who have my sense of nostalgia.

Phil Collins has a very well-known song about breaking up…

I read somewhere that “In The Air Tonight” was inspired by Phil Collins’ first ex wife, Andrea, whom he divorced in 1979. If you really want someone to get the message that the relationship is dead, this song gets the point across in a macabre way. Isn’t it interesting how breakups can inspire art and music?

Another classic break up song that comes to mind is “Something I Can Never Have” by Nine Inch Nails…

Ironically, the friend I broke up with actually helped me discover Nine Inch Nails. I don’t know that this is a good song for me personally, because my feelings about this particular breakup are not quite this deep and searing. But if you have a very intense relationship with someone and it falls apart, you might be depressed, angry, and hurt enough to relate to this very wrenching song about falling out with someone you once loved.

In 1976, Marvin Gaye divorced his ex wife Anna Gordy. Because he had run out of money due to overspending and a drug habit, he didn’t have money to pay his ex wife alimony and child support for their son, Marvin III. Marvin’s attorney, Curtis Shaw came up with the solution. Gaye would give his ex wife half the royalties from his next project. The result was Gaye’s 1978 album, Here, My Dear. Here, My Dear is chock full of bitterness, including this hit…

“When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You?” pretty much sums up the anger and hurt that can arise when a relationship dies.

There’s also the ever popular Supertramp hit, “Goodbye Stranger”, which is about a musical partnership breaking up. It could also be about a romantic breakup, I guess.

This is another song that reminds me of my former friend. We were both big Supertramp fans back in the day.

And finally, there’s “On My Own”, a duet from Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald…

This is kind of a sad song about a formerly romantic couple who decide to break up and express their bittersweet feelings in a nice 80s era ballad.

I feel okay about what I did. At least it helped me get over writer’s block. I’m sorry it had to come to this, though. Officially breaking up is never fun, even when it’s just with an ex friend you no longer talk to. It would have been far nicer to just fade away.