I’ve blogged this show for the past two years and made fun of it’s usual lengthiness, but am going to change my tune. The last few years caused me to drink copious amounts of coffee to get through the shows. I’m only drinking Diet Pepsi Max (and bobbing my head like LL and Busta) and Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla style.

Let’s just get this out of the way. Kanye is going to be the sentimental favorite tonight. With his mom’s recent surprise passing, I can’t imagine him not performing Hey Mama tonight and just making the tears run down everyone’s faces.

  • The show opens with Alicia Keys singing a duet with Frank Sinatra. And dude is in black and white.
  • Alicia’s dress is way too tight and reminds me of the dress that Donna Martin wore to the Spring dance that made her look like a mermaid. Her breasts must be suffocating.
  • Carrie Underwood is a really pretty girl, but isn’t the kind of girl who should ever wear hot pants of any kind. She has a bad case of noassatall.
  • Alicia Keys just won the Best Female R&B Vocal Performance and accepted the award from Prince. Her heels must’ve been higher because dude would’ve had to jump to kiss her.
  • Morris Day and The Time just came out, but only to act as the intro act to Rihanna. Prince was not in sight, but Rihanna still gave him props by wearing her hair the same way as him.
  • Fantasia was in the crowd and she’s rockin’ a blond bald spot.
  • Amy Winehouse won for Best New Artist so they aren’t screwing her just yet for being a nut job.
  • Say what you want about Kanye, but the dude is an entertainer. And he did Hey Mama justice and his mother proud tonight.

 

  • There are some people who actually look great in HD, but poor Fergie Ferg isn’t one of them. She should have it in her contract that they can’t do close-ups on her.
  • First the Oscars did it to Dreamgirls and now the Grammy’s. They gave the Compilation Soundtrack award to Beatles Live. I think I would’ve been ok with Hugh Grant winning for Pop! Goes My Heart, but not to some guys in tight trousers dancing to Beatles songs.
  • Beyonce came out in nothing more than a dress with bikini bottoms and she let the thighs loose. Let’s just say that if Jay-Z ever fell asleep on her lap, he may never wake up.
  • Tina Turner came out and sang with Beyonce and save for one moment where she kicked out her knee and I thought she dislocated her knee cap, that old woman can still get it done.
  • Even though Amy Winehouse won the song writer’s award for Best Song, what is more interesting is that I learned that Jay-Z gets a writing credit for Umbrella, all because he was in a verse at the beginning of the song that no one remembers. Dude didn’t even write, “Ella ella aye aye”.
  • Just as I aimed my buddy Mike that if Nas or Kanye West didn’t win, we riot, Kanye West won for Best Rap Album.
  • The Grammy’s tried to play the wrap-up music on Kanye, but he made it stop. That was classic.
  • I thought the only people who knew who Feist was, were the folks who watched VH-1 early in the morning.
  • Alicia Keys and Johnny Mayer work well together. And thankfully, Mayer cut off the Edward Scissorhands hairdo.
  • In introducing Amy Winehouse (who is live via satellite as she couldn’t get her visa in time), Cuba Gooding said, “Ya know what I’m sayin?” I didn’t know the dude had it in him.
  • Either Winehouse is trying to make us think she’s messed up, or she’s really messed up. Which also begs the question, “How can someone sing so well while messed up?”
  • After winning Record Of The Year for Rehab she shouted out her “Blake incarcerated”. Yep, she said it.
  • Why is will.i.am on my TV singing and rapping a collection of past Grammy’s hits? The crowd didn’t know what to do when he was done.
  • Usher and Kanye West would’ve tied if there was an award for Best Sunglasses.
  • In the biggest upset in the last week, Herbie Hancock beat out both Kanye West and Amy Winehouse for Album Of The Year. It was an Eli Manning-esque comeback. Then, when reaching for his thank you cards, they slipped out and fell, only he didn’t know and kept reaching into his pocket. At least Eli didn’t drop the trophy.

The rumored Michael Jackson tie-in for the re-release of Thriller never happened. That made me sad. But at least I didn’t have to drink coffee.