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Tag: Eve

  • 2009 Hip Hop Honors Live Play By Play

    VH-1’s Hip Hop Honors show is one of my favorite shows of the year. It’s still amazing that VH-1 of all stations pays respect to the hip hop genre best, but hey, I’m not complaining.

    (By the way, I know that it’s not technically live considering I’m on the West Coast, and I’m DVRing it so that I don’t have to watch commercials, but when people look at this in a few years, will they even know?)

    (Wait, I just let the cat out of the bag. Damn.)

    This year’s show pays respect to the Def Jam label. I hope we see some Rick Rubin tonight. I know we’ll see a lot of Russell Simmons.

    And away we go…

    Russell Simmons at the 2008 VMAs
    Russell Simmons at the 2008 VMAs
    – I think I saw Rubin already. It was either him or Jesus Christ. I’m not quite sure yet.

    – If you like you some Tracy Morgan, this is your show. If you don’t like you some Tracy Morgan, I’m not sure how much of this you’ll be able to stomach.

    – Hey, LL is on this show even though he doesn’t have a record to pimp. Wait, didn’t he just start a new TV show?

    – Black Thought and Eminem tear up Rock The Bells, but I was a bit sad watching because it takes Em doing hip hop karaoke to show that he can still bring it.

    – Jazzy Jeff was spinning and ?uestlove was on the drums by the way. Talk about all-star cast.

    – Why is Jimmy Fallon on this show? Oh yah, he put the Roots on his show. He can be on it.

    – You know how Dr. Dre got all swoll in his later years? Chuck D doesn’t believe in that.

    – Another reason I like this show is because it’s the one time a year where we get to see what Flavor Flav did that truly made him famous.

    – I’m not quite sure that Ludacris deserves to be on the same stage that Public Enemy just graced, but oh well, it’s all about the love tonight.

    – KRS-One doing No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn? Well, he can do whatever song he wants as long as he doesn’t get mad at us.

    For The Love Of Ray J is still on? It’s amazing that the same station that puts Ray J in his drawers on TV is the same station that puts this show together.

    – Warren G and Trey Songz just doesn’t have the same ring to it as Warren G and Nate Dogg. “And I see my homie Trey,” just doesn’t work for me.

    – Only Brett Ratner would use the name “Method Man” and the words “true genius” in the same sentence. I’m not sure Mef’s mom would say that. Whatever happened their TV show Method and Red?

    – Uh oh, I may get a little excited here. Mary J is here and she and Meth are going to perform I’ll Be There for You/You’re All I Need to Get By, and it’s not the Diddy remix.

    – Onyx is on the stage and everyone watching all said at the same time, “I guess Onyx is still alive.”

    – I think the last time I saw Eve was on last year’s Hip Hop Honors show.

    – Ja Rule and Ashanti are on the stage doing an old favorite. Wait, I’m not sure any of their songs were old favorites. I always thought that they should let Ja Rule stand on a box whenever he was rapping on stage. He looks like Tupac’s mini me.

    (For the first time in the history of this show, I hit the fast forward. I apologize. Ja Rule and Ashanti did a second song. I couldn’t take it anymore.)

    – There’s been an Oran “Juice” Jones sighting. I repeat, there’s been an Oran “Juice” Jones sighting.

    – Hold on, I may have to fast forward again. I think Tracy just introduced Rick Ross. On most of the earlier performances, Russ Simmons and Chris Rock were rappin’ along with the songs. Not with Ross. They’re just pretending to like it.

    bbvsta_dmxvsem– DMX is back! If you’ve been wondering what X is into lately, he’s supposedly “fighting” on an MMA show. Notice the word fighting in quotes.

    – Let’s put it this way; Kid Rock is a more charismatic rhymer than Rick Ross.

    – EPMD is doing Crossover, but poor Parrish’s mic isn’t working.

    – Foxy Brown is wearing the same clothes she wore in 1997, except she’s about 25 pounds heavier in the chest area. Always trying to keep up with Lil’ Kim.

    – I can’t believe they ended the show with Doug E. Doug doing Kanye’s Touch The Sky.

    – Oh well, even though it was probably the worst of the Hip Hop Honors show, there was still some good stuff. Watch for the first half.

    – By the way, was Jay-Z busy or persona non grata?

    Photo of Russell Simmons by Philip Nelson, Live Streaming Expert and shared via creative commons

  • VH-1’s Top 100 Rap Songs: Triumph or Travesty?

    OK, so we’re only an hour-20 songs (ed. note, actually, 40 songs…I wrote this Tuesday morning)-into VH-1’s list of the Top 100 rap songs of all time. While I’m absolutely grateful that VH-1 takes the time every year, via its’ Hip-Hop Honors special, to honor the pioneers of hip-hop in a way that the networks you’d EXPECT to be honoring them don’t (hello, BET), I must admit that, as a true school hip-hop fan, some of their choices are severe head-scratchers. I mean, who told VH-1 to honor Missy Elliott before Queen Latifah or Dr. Dre? Hell, Missy’s less qualified to be enshrined in any sort of Hip-Hop Hall of Fame than any of this year’s 5 honorees, who range from “it’s about time” (Slick Rick, De La Soul, Too $hort) to borderline acts like Cypress Hill and Naughty by Nature. Not that I don’t dig either group, but Cypress followed up one absolutely sensational debut with a sea of mediocre albums, while Naughty released a string of excellent singles but never put it together for one truly great album.

    Now I’ll admit. I’m a friggin’ sucker for countdowns, and VH-1’s pop culture specials are usually on point. I’ve often fantasized about being a panelist on one of those “I Love the…” specials. Hell, you could give me a lobotomy and I’d be funnier than Mo Rocca. That said, this list of the greatest hip-hop songs leaves me a little cold (so far) for a couple of reasons.

    Because of my age and where I grew up, I’m always going to give the stank eye to anyone who claims to be a hip-hop authority. That said, VH-1 has already erred big time with a couple of their choices. I absolutely adore PM Dawn’s “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss”, but is that really a hip-hop record? (I do, however, think they missed a golden opportunity by not having KRS-ONE comment on the record). While “Memory Bliss”‘s inclusion is certainly debatable, I don’t think there’s one single person who would agree with the inclusion of L’Trimm’s “Cars That Go Boom”. Miami bass? Certainly. Freestyle? Okay. Hip-hop?? That’s stretchin’ it, folks. Granted, there’s probably a noticeable lack of female emcees on this countdown, which could explain why they shoehorned L’ Trimm in, but any real hip-hop fan who watched that segment had to have at least a little of the taste of disgust swirling around in his or her mouth.

    It also seems like some artists were included just for the sake of a broad representation and so certain artists didn’t take up too many spots on the countdown. I don’t know that Eve even makes a list of Top 100 female rappers, so to have one of her songs (and “Who’s That Girl” of all of them) on the countdown is a bit surprising. And where they got some of the artist choices right (nice to see Jungle Brothers on this countdown, although the thought of Baby Bam in glam-rock makeup will haunt me for the next several weeks), their song choices (“What U Waitin’ For?” instead of “I’ll House You”? Really?…) leave much to be desired. Although I think they substituted because “I’ll House You” doesn’t have a video.

    Of course, you know the whole opinions are like assholes… theory, and I suppose I should be grateful that the network once considered MTV’s stale cousin is the only TV station doing right by hip-hop these days. However, I still would love to see who the panel is that voted for this countdown, so I can smack the person who said it would be a good idea for “Cars That Go Boom” to be on this list…

  • VH-1 Hip Hop Honors ‘07

    This year, VH-1 gives honors to Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliot, and A Tribe Called Quest. Two of those things is not like the other. I guess in order to get ATCQ honored, we have to sit through Snoop and Missy. Oh well, it’s worth it. Tracy Morgan is hosting. I wonder if he’ll dress up like Hustle Man, like when he was on Martin.

    • Does KRS-One really go by KRS-One Tha Teacha now?
    • I wonder is Missy Elliot is going to show up in that rubber balloon suit tonight? I can’t stand the rain, rain, rain.
    • Wait, they’re honoring Whodini and New Jack swing too? Does that mean we get some Teddy Riley up in here?
    • Isn’t Kerry Washington supposed to be blind? Wait, that’s just in Fantastic Four.
    • Missy says that she met Timbaland through Magoo. Can anyone throw Magoo a bone these days? Where is that dude?
    • At least we know Tweet is still alive.
    • Timbo decided to bring the guns to the gun show.
    • Eve and her hair decide to make an appearance. Wait, that’s probably not her hair.
    • Nelly Furtado and her ass decide to make an appearance.
    • Ciara and her Adam’s apple decide to make an appearance.
    • Is Diddy supposed to pronounce the H in homage?
    • Look at Waterbed Hev dancing in shorts.
    • I feel like a kid again listening to Guy.
    • Andre Harrell describes New Jack Swing as a merging of hip hop, R&B, and funk.
    • I wish I could be as cool as Doug E. Fresh.
    • Someone give T-Pain his synthesizer back. He needs it. He’s making me not want HER.
    • If Kool Moe Dee was this big when he rapped back in his day, they’d have called him Heavy Dee.
    • Ne-Yo is doing Remember The Time, which was produced by Teddy Riley and is new jack swing, but Eddie and Iman and her bird were nowhere to be found.
    • All I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom, just shake your rump. That might be the greatest lyric of all time.
    • Wait, is that Chauncey, who Kanye said was from Blackstreet and was as black as the street was? And if so, where’s Dave Hollister when you need him?
    • LL is out to talk about Wild Style and you know Timbo is in the back like, “My arms are bigger, and I can fit two microphones and a turntable on my arm.”
    • Rappers don’t age well, or at least you’re not used to seeing old men with shades on rockin’ the mic.
    • Well, except if you are KRS-One.
    • Grandmaster Caz just said, “Grandmaster Caz and Wild Style, greatest of all time.”
    • Who did Whodini piss off to have Nick Cannon, Nelly, and Don Chi Chi to represent them?
    • Pharrell seemed a little light in the ass to rap off Doggystyle compared to Ice T.
    • Common and Skateboard P actually did a great job with Scenario in setting up Busta Rhymes for his big spot, and the man just doesn’t have it anymore.
    • Tribe still has it. They need to put out an album immediately.