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  • Anti Love Songs…

    It’s Valentine’s Day, but not everyone is feeling the love… How about a few “anti love songs”?

    I had an interesting experience yesterday on Facebook.  I shared a photo of Will Ferrell looking particularly loser-ish with a caption that read,

    “If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… Nobody loves you on the other days of the year, either.”

    When I posted that meme, I was just trying to be funny.  And indeed, several people indicated that they thought the photo was funny.  I could even identify with the photo’s snarky comment, having endured 29 straight Valentine-less Valentine’s Days before I finally started dating my husband.  I definitely know why Valentine’s Day can suck if you get too caught up in it.

    Imagine my surprise when someone took me to task for being “mean”.  This person felt that I was shaming all the dateless and loveless people of the world.  After that exchange, I got to thinking.  Everybody wants to talk about love on Valentine’s Day… hearts, flowers, candy, kisses and jewelry.  But what about all the people out there who aren’t feeling the love on this Hallmark holiday?  Shouldn’t we include them in the fun?  So in the interest of recognizing those who are alone and bitter about it on Valentine’s Day, here are a few anti love songs.

    Gloria Jones, Soft Cell, and Marilyn Manson “Tainted Love”

    Gloria Jones recorded the original version of “Tainted Love” back in 1964. In 1981, Soft Cell covered “Tainted Love”, introducing a new generation to this searing song about a toxic partner. It’s also been covered by Marilyn Manson.

    Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive”

    Here’s a good, hearty “f u” song for all the women who have been dumped by an insensitive ass on Valentine’s Day.  Hey buddy, I will survive… so hit the road!

    Ray Charles “Hit The Road, Jack”

    Speaking of hitting the road, here’s a classic anti love song by Ray Charles.

    The Police “So Lonely”

    Sting, Andy Summers, and Stuart Copeland must have been feeling especially lonely when they penned this song about being all alone and hating it.

    Erykah Badu “Tyrone”

    The first time I heard this song, I was in at a karaoke bar in Richmond, Virginia.  A young lady got up and sang this song with a lot of heart and soul… and I just had to go find it so I could hear the original.  Erykah Badu is sick and tired of her man not pulling his weight.  So she invites him to “call Tyrone”… Not safe for work.

    Pat Benatar “Heartbreaker”

    Pat Benatar comes on like a freight train with this rocking hit about a guy who’s a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker… and just not a nice person.


     

    Martin Briley “Salt In My Tears”

    This is a pretty good break up song.  It’s sung by a guy, but I know a lot of women who can relate to the very same sentiments in this caustic song about a person who is pretty much worthless.  I mean, how much can the salt in one’s tears be worth, anyway?  If you’re not worth that much, you’re not worth much!

     

    Alanis Morisette “You Oughta Know”

    No anti love song list would be complete without this new classic song by Alanis Morisette. Was it really written about Dave Coulier of Full House fame? I don’t know, but she sure seems good and pissed.

    Wham! “Everything She Wants”

    “Everything She Wants” was a big hit for Wham! back in 1985, but it’s also kind of an anti love song about a greedy woman who takes advantage of her significant other, driving him to the brink of exhaustion with her constant demands for more and more… and she’s pregnant, too?

    Harry Nilsson “You’re Breaking My Heart”

    Harry Nilsson sings this profane song to the heartbreaker in his life.  Believe it or not, the first time I ever heard this song was on the soundtrack from the 1983 teen sex flick Private School. Though the title seems innocuous, this song is loaded with f-bombs. Listen with care.

     

    Francine Queen of Obscene “He’s An A******”

    Here’s a song I found on Red Peters’ Song Snatch podcast.  It’s definitely not safe for work or if your kids are around, but I have a feeling that a lot of women can relate to this profane number about a woman who has just had an unfortunate run in with an oversexed, unfaithful jerk.

    Ken Turetzky “Her Sh*t Don’t Stink”

    Ladies aren’t the only ones who have run-ins with inconsiderate lovers.  Ken Turetzky reminds everyone what it’s like to be dumped by a narcissistic woman who thinks her shit doesn’t stink.

    The Bloodhound Gang “No Hard Feelings”

    With a chilling line that goes “I’m missing you like a hijacked flight on September 11th”, this song definitely qualifies as an anti love song.  I can think of a few people I could dedicate this song to… Definitely not safe for work.

    Red Peters “The Spelling Song”

    And finally, here’s a song that if you can’t spell and don’t listen too carefully to the words, might actually seem kind of pleasant.  But it’s definitely a kiss off song from both affected parties.

    In all seriousness, I hope everyone has a happy Valentine’s Day. And if your Valentine’s Day hasn’t been fun because you’re sad, bitter, and lonely, I hope a few of these songs at least help you feel a little less alone.

  • #27 album of 2012 – R.A.P. Music by Killer Mike

    #27 album of 2012 – R.A.P. Music by Killer Mike

    Artist: Killer Mike

    Album: R.A.P. Music

    Mr. Michael Render does not believe the term “rap” *is* an acronym for “Rebellious African Peoples”: he believes it should be. R.A.P. Music, produced by robot-apocalypse meister Jaime “El-P” Meline, does its best to sound like rebellion in progress. Beats range from firm to concussive; killer_mike_rapsynth melodies burble and warble like distant alarms, or buzz and gurgle like hungry monster wasps, or drift like machines humming to themselves while they recharge for their next burst of menace. There’s guest singers sometimes, with pretty melodies, but that just shows there’s a base of popular support out there, while Killer Mike‘s voice has the depth and forceful character of Public Enemy’s Chuck D, more speed, and the precise articulation of a man who knows how to wield the King’s English in the cause of regicide. At least when he so chooses; it’s not often that he sustains a verse without the word “shit”. But he’s impressive when he does.

    A digression that maybe isn’t one. I feel like the only way to write this review honestly is to admit an unlikeable personal flaw: I’m kind of a prude. No, not about sex! I’m enthusiastically pro-sexual pleasure: mine, hopefully yours, anyone’s who doesn’t get theirs by treating people badly. Sexism, though, raises my hackles at once; so do violence and cruelty, all of which I think I’m right about. I’m also immediately bothered, to a muted extent, by things I know are absolutely none of my business, things that some of my favorite people enjoy: drunkenness, recreational drug use, boasting (unless it’s a fun burst of surprised enthusiasm), and large-scale swearing (unless it’s creative). These are, collectively, a large obstacle to hip-hop fandom — although as the two higher-ranking hip-hop albums remaining in the countdown will show, not a total one.

    Those of you who are non-prudes probably mis-understand the phenomenon. Prudes are usually shown in the media as people who are lying about what they enjoy or think is funny; people who are refusing on purpose to have fun. My experience says otherwise; I was 5 years old and usually thought Garfield comics were the funniest thing in the world, but already that cat’s treatment of Nermal and Odie just made me sad. This is who I am. *I don’t have a choice* about wincing when R.A.P. Music‘s eloquent devotional to the power of music settles on, as its highest praise, “the opposite of bullshit”. I don’t have a choice about my disappointment when Untitled‘s awkward but affecting salutes to motherhood, and the mysteries of human potential, turns into a tribute to marijuana, then a boast that he’ll kill anyone coming to take him down. I can’t help disliking a chorus like Southern Fried‘s “Ain’t I one-hundred player for sure? Ain’t I slick ’bout my pimp game and just might mack on your ho?”, even as I admire the long-held organ chords and seductive almost-melodic dual vocals that deliver them.

    I do have the choice — the easy and obvious choice — of ignoring entire giant swaths of American culture so as not to rouse my own disapproval. But that doesn’t sit right with me either. R.A.P. Music exemplifies the things hip-hop does better than any other genre. Autobiography, for one; love of family, for two; awareness of community and of unacceptable poverty, for three and four. Willie Burke Sherwood, for example, covers all four: it’s Killer Mike‘s plainly-titled tribute to the grandfather who raised him, to the books that influenced him even as he got mocked for reading books, and to childhood friends who were shot. A chorus like “This is for all the dads and the granddads/ and the little homies that ain’t never had dads… For every man that’s ever had to man up/ if that’s you, let me see you put your hand up” would sound totally out-of-place in indie-pop or progressive rock or shoegazer, but fits normally on a rap album, a song or three away from cheap ghetto pick-up lines.

    killer_mike_elpAwareness of roots, for five. The title track is a lengthy boast about his and El-P’s skills, but it’s in the form of felt obligation — “What I say might save a life, what I speak might save the street” — and it’s also a lengthy namecheck of his musical loves, the “Closest I’ve ever come to seeing or feeling God”. When he says “This is sanctified sex, this is player pentecostal/ This is church: front, pew, amen, pulpit”, he’s talking about his own music (and a player lifestyle I wouldn’t endorse without knowing the women’s sides of the stories), but also the music others gave to him. Storytelling ambivalence, for six. Ghetto Gospel‘s narrator, accounting his drug-trade career, is viciously blunt with lines like “My mamma took me to the root lady to read my palm/ She puts beads on my neck saying they protecting me from harm/ But fuck this old witch, I went and got a gun”. But the narrator loves his mamma, and the proto-gospel tinges on the chorus “Oh Lord, Jesus, glory” don’t feel like cheap irony. Jo-Jo’s Chillin’  is a neutral tale of pure evil — a babydaddy fleeing his family and the law across state lines, bribing a guard, viciously abusing two women, and getting away with it — and I don’t doubt that it will be taken by listeners as glorification: I wish it wasn’t on the disc, despite its pleasant, stylishly listenable flow. But I’m not certain it’s supposed to be approving; it’s possible Killer Mike considers it as obvious a bleak character study as Jim Thompson’s “the Killer Inside Me”. Which, if it weren’t for all the rest of hip-hop, it might work as.

    It leads, after all, into Reagan, a bleak soundscape of drones and oscillations, a song opposed to ruthless brutality. As Tris McCall noted, it’s smart enough to explain the role of privately-owned prisons and the drug war in replacing the free labor lost to slavery, and dumb enough to call Reagan “an actor, not at all a factor, just an employee of the country’s real masters”, and also imply that he’s the antiChrist, as if the two were compatible. Hip-hop’s seventh special strength as a genre, that I’m thinking of today, is that it’s incendiary. This isn’t necessarily a plus. “Fuck the police” (a literal quote from Don’t Die), interspersed with threats to spree-kill said cops, is a pretty stupid response to the real problems of racial profiling, abusive illegal searches, and prison labor. Butane‘s call for revolution so that all you listeners can be as absurdly rich and royal and preternaturally cool as Michael Render is, um, not a realistic revolutionary goal. I get that.

    But it’s something. No one this side of Fox News expects even as powerful a rap voice as Killer Mike‘s to translate directly into action: he’s starting a conversation, making nifty sounds in the process. Bart Simpson once tried to start a collective action with [paraphrased from memory] “I don’t promise success. I don’t promise victory”. As his collaborators started to wander away, he yelled “Okay! I promise success! I promise victory!”. It seems to work better.

    – Brian Block

    To see the rest of our favorites, visit our Favorite Albums of 2012 page!

     

  • Forgotten bands of the 1980s

    When was the last time you thought of these forgotten 1980s era bands?

    Somehow, I scratched my eye the other day, which made me break out my glasses in order to be able to see.  I hate wearing my glasses because they make me feel frumpy.  I mean, I’m often frumpy anyway, because I usually wear sweats all day and rarely wear makeup.  But as I was sitting here, pondering how much I hate wearing my glasses, I suddenly had a flashback to the 1980s to songs that were once sexy and are now forgotten.

    Back then, I was just a kid and loved the radio.  At that time, you could turn on a top 40 station and hear an eclectic mix of what was then considered pop music.  For people with very eclectic musical tastes like mine, it was an exciting time.  Anything from Led Zeppelin to James Ingram was liable to be played and usually by a local disk jockey who might even take requests.  During that time, there were a lot of one hit wonders from bands that had some moderate success with a song or two or maybe even a few songs.  Then they’d fade into oblivion, only to pop into my consciousness decades later.

    So this morning, as I nurse my irritated bespectacled eyes, I remember the band Naked Eyes, which had moderate success with a few songs.  The one I remember best and liked most was “Promises, Promises”.

    “Promises, Promises” by Naked Eyes

    Maybe it’s a little dated, but I’ve always liked this song.  I think Naked Eyes had a good pop/new wave sound, too.  I wonder why they only had a handful of hits.  Was it just because of their music or did their band just not have a catchy enough name? Naked Eyes is still around. Recently, they released a special edition of their 1983 album, Burning Bridges and have plans to release a new album, Piccadilly, in 2013. Will the new album launch Naked Eyes back into the public eye? We’ll see… hopefully with contact lenses again.

    “You Don’t Want Me Anymore” by Steel Breeze

    Moving on, I started thinking about other forgotten bands from the 1980s and the next one that popped into my brain was Steel Breeze.

    Lordy… this is one old and forgotten 1980s song. I was in fifth grade when this video had regular rotation on MTV. It was popular and then… they just plain disappeared. Was it because of the band’s name, which was evidently coined from a phrase in Pink Floyd’s song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”? I don’t know, but it seems like Steel Breeze wasn’t strong enough to blow away the competition.

    “Sausalito Summernights” by Diesel

    What about Diesel? Remember them? They were a Dutch pop group that had some success with a song called “Sausalito Summernight” way back in 1981. I remember loving this song back in the day and it was the only hit Diesel had in America.This song is about a road trip in a car that is literally on its last legs… or tires as the case might be. I never really paid attention to the lyrics when “Sausalito Summernights” was popular because I was too taken by that catchy guitar hook and odd harmonies on the verses. Diesel ran out of gas in the early 80s and failed to fuel up again, making them a true one hit wonder act, at least in the United States.

    “You Could Take My Heart Away” by Silver Condor

    How about a love song? Before the Internet, I was frequently tormented by forgotten songs that weren’t on the radio anymore. One song that tormented me for years was a song by a band called Silver Condor. In 1981, they had a hit called “You Could Take My Heart Away”. It was a radio staple for awhile, then went away. Every once in awhile, it would get stuck in my brain. I was delighted when I could finally search for it on the Internet by plugging in what few lyrics I could remember.

    Here’s a clip from Solid Gold, yet another relic from the 1980s. Since the vast majority of acts that appeared on that show lip-synced, this video is an excellent representation of how that song sounded on the radio. Wow… it sounds very early 80s. No wonder this band failed to soar, though I have to admit this forgotten song remains a guilty pleasure today. The lead singer, Joe Serisano, had a great voice that sort of channeled Steve Perry of Journey and Dave Bickler, of Survivor.

    “Sweetheart” by Franke and the Knockouts

    Another band that always takes me straight back to 1981 is Franke and the Knockouts, who had a hit with “Sweetheart”.

    Seems like this was their one big hit, though I did learn by reading Wikipedia that Franke Previte and Billy Elworthy, two guys behind Franke and the Knockouts, are responsible for writing two very well-known hit songs.  Remember “Hungry Eyes” and “(I’ve Had) the Time of My Life” from the hit 1987 film Dirty Dancing?  They wrote the music and lyrics and sang the original versions.

    “Brite Eyes” by The Robbin Thompson Band

    The next song that popped into my head this morning is truly obscure… at least it was to me until a few months ago, when I finally figured out who sang this song that kept running through my brain.

    It took some time to find this song because I kept spelling the word “bright” correctly. When I finally spelled it “Brite”, I found it and was plunged back into early 80s bliss. This song reminds me of something The Eagles might record. Robbin Thompson has recorded with Bruce Springsteen and Timothy B. Schmit and is based in Richmond, Virginia, which sort of excites me since I’m from Virginia.

    “Mexican Radio” by Wall of Voodoo

    As a kid, I used to watch HBO a lot and they used to kill time between movies with “Video Jukebox”, where they would show videos from obscure early 80s artists. Two songs I well remember from that age are “Mexican Radio” by Wall of Voodoo and “Turning Japanese” by The Vapors.


    I can only guess what life events prompted Wall of Voodoo to write “Mexican Radio”.

    “Turning Japanese” by The Vapors

    Okay, so “Turning Japanese” got some airplay in the classic John Hughes film Sixteen Candles, but whatever happened to The Vapors? Actually, come to think of it, these two songs sort of give this post a little international flair.

    I’m sure if I tried, I could sit here all day and think of more obscure hits from the 1980s. But it’s time to get on with my day and stop pondering as to why these forgotten 80s bands, who once had successful hits, have become distant memories to those of us over 40.