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  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 11?

    I understand the Black Eyed Peas perform tonight. Sigh. That just means I’m going to see the Fergie-monster in my nightmares when I go to sleep. And David Cook, I mean Kris Allen, I mean Lee DeWyze is also going to perform tonight.

    Last night, I thought Miss Haley and Miss Naima performed pretty badly. I think Miss Karen could also be on the cutting block, but J. Lo loves her too much for people to see how pedestrian she’s been so far.

    I think the Idol contestants are performing a Born This Way and Born To Be Wild mash-up. All the members of Steppenwolf decided to put on t-shirts made out of meat to show their disproval.

    Ryno calls Jacob, Lauren, and Casey to the stage. It’d be hard to imagine either of the three being in any real danger. Ryno tells Jacob he’s safe and he has to pretend that he was worried. Ryno tells Lauren that she’s safe too. Ryno tells Casey he is also safe. He thought he was a goner. I think he fell for the banana in the tailpipe. Come on Casey! You know you weren’t going anywhere son!

    Ryno calls up Haley and Paul. Haley already has the boo-boo face going. She knew what was coming. She and her red lipstick are in the bottom three, while Paul is safe. [sarcasm]Yay! More drunken dancing![/sarcasm]

    That ever original artist who sounded nothing like the two previous American Idol winners before him, Lee DeWyze is singing his new song Beautiful Like You. Blake Lewis just gave Lee a thumbs down and said at least he was a creative cookie-cutter white guy.

    Ryno asks Lee to give the Idol contestants advice and Lee starts with, “I mean …” No really Lee, it’s not like we didn’t understand you and you had to reiterate considering you didn’t say anything before saying, “I mean.” Crystal Bowersox lost to this dude?

    Ryno brings Scotty, Pia, and James to the stage. If either of these are in the bottom three, we riot. Ryno tells Scotty that he’s safe. He says that Pia is also safe. He finally tells Big Game James that he’s safe too.

    That leaves us with Stefano, Naima, Thia, and Karen.

    He brings up Stefano and Naima to the stage. One is safe and one is in the bottom three. Stefano, the new Elliott Yamin is safe, and Naima is in the bottom three. He then brings up Karen and Thia. Karen is in the bottom three. Maybe the audience is finally seeing through Karen’s very so-so performances.

    The Black Eyed Peas are on stage. Fergie has a dreamboat body, but a shipwreck face. They’re performing Just Can’t Get Enough. Fergie has either had bulldog cheek implants, or she had a bad day. Fergie’s one of those girls who looks good from afar. Oh yah, the song is pretty wack. Dirty bit.

    We’re back to the bottom three. Your girl Naima is safe. So it’s down to Haley’s lipstick and Karen. Whoa, Karen is the goner! Ryno’s trying to tell Karen that the judges may bring her back. We know that’s not happening. She could sing La Bamba with the ghost of Richie Valens behind her and they’re not bringing her back. She could’ve asked a very pregnant Mariah Carey waddle out on stage and sing Hero with her and they weren’t going to save her.

    Randall says they’re not going to use the save on Karen, but it wasn’t unanimous. I think we know who tried to keep her. Here’s a hint: her name is Jennifer Lopez.

    Seacrest out!

    Photo of Fergie by Wikipedia and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 Generic license

  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 12?

    If you missed last night’s American Idol show, head over to Popblerd!, which is where I’ll be writing my Wednesday play-by-plays. On this website, I’ll do the Thursday show, recapping who goes home.

    Last night, I thought Karen, Ashthon, and Thia could be in the bottom three. I also don’t know for sure how many folks are being eliminated tonight. I seem to remember the last time they brought thirteen to the finals, they eliminated two on the first night.

    Puffy and Dirty Money and Adam Lambert are on stage tonight (in separate performances) for the show. Diddy can have his Dirty Money. But give me my Danity Kane and Day 26 back, and even Donnie Klang if you have to.

    Ryno Seacrest said that Casey was sick and in the hospital, so he wasn’t on stage tonight. The group is performing Michael Jackson’s Wanna Be Starting Something and Rock With You. I couldn’t really tell how the performance was because I was too busy looking at Pia and waiting for her to appear on screen again. I do know that Jacob Lusk was doing some terrible dancing. They also went into Black Or White and Man In The Mirror. Looks like Thia wanted to sing Smile again, but they vetoed her and told her these were real Michael Jackson songs.

    Ryno interviewed Amanda Seyfried who is in the new movie, Red Riding Hood. Seyfried looks like she could’ve been in the animated film A Bug’s Life and she wouldn’t even need to be animated. Her eyes are so big, it’d take hubcaps to blind fold her. And I think the wolf is offended in the movie when she tells him, “What big eyes you have.”

    Ryno pulls Jacob, Stefano, and Karen to the stage. Karen is in the bottom three. Jacob and Stefano hugged like they just won the World Series.

    Adam Lambert is singing Aftermath. His hair is more poofy this time, like a young Brandon Walsh in his prime. And I’m jealous. I think he’s sizing up James Durbin for competition as Idol’s biggest wailer. There was this very odd live television moment where Ryno said he Dougie’d to the remix of Lambert’s song and then J. Lo called him out on it. She then bopped her shoulders back and forth and can get away with it because she can actually dance and she’s J. Lo. Though I’m not sure that was quite enough Dougie.

    Ryno invited Lauren, Ashthon, and Haley to the stage. Lauren isn’t leaving. We know this, man. She’s safe. Haley and Ashton are in the bottom three. Well, I predicted all girls, but I got the wrong third girl. Thia’s peoples definitely represented for her.

    Puffy and his Dirty Money crew are on stage to perform Coming Home. Where the heck is my girl Dawn? And why is Skylar Grey here? Wait, she may sing on the actual song.

    (I was told that Dawn was there, but for whatever reason, I missed her.)

    Did you know that Diddy hates the songs Tears Of A Clown and A House Is Not A Home? Did you also know that it’s easy to be Puff, but harder to be Sean? And really, it’s hard for him when his twins ask him why he ain’t marry their mom. Did you also know that he would’ve taken the bullet if he saw it?

    Puff decided to talk to the crew and you could see it in Jacob Lusk’s eyes that he was so happy that he didn’t try to make the band. He didn’t want to be the next E. Ness, Young City, Babs Bunny, or Q.

    Ryno is back with the girls in the bottom three. Karen is safe. If Haley is eliminated, we riot. Ashthon just gave Puff a dirty look because she’s coming home. She has to sing for the judges now to see if she’ll be saved.

    Ashthon did Diana Ross again and it was better than last night, but it’s not good enough to be saved. Ashthon is gone. David Cook sings Ashthon home. He sings the new goodbye song and it’s his own version of Don’t You Forget About Me. And it’s pretty terrible. She joins the likes of Brandon Rodgers, Vanessa Olivarez, Lindsey Cardinale, and David “Stripper” Hernandez as folks who are eliminated in the first week of the finals.

  • Awesome Song Alert! The Postelles “Sleep on the Dance Floor”

    ”The Postelles”
    Last summer, The Postelles put out what turned out to be one of the cutest and most durable singles of the year with a song called “White Night”. An account of a night of clubbing in New York City that ends not-so-well, the song had an irresistible retro vibe that split the difference between late 50s rock n’ roll and late 70s power pop with just a touch of the Strokes, circa 2001. The verses build to a goofily unhappy call-and-response (“Tell me do you like that? I don’t think I like that”) leading into a relentless head-bobbing rave-up of a chorus. It was a great driving song, and it even made a small cameo in the Halloween episode of Fox’s Raising Hope. (I can totally imagine Martha Plimpton, circa 1982, rocking out to a band like The Postelles.)

    Now the band has just announced a June 7 release date for their self-titled debut album and in advance of the album’s release, they’ve put out a second video – this time for the song “Sleep on the Dance Floor”. The song had already been released as part of the “White Night” EP, but the band is currently offering the track for free download on their website. It’s another great little song with all the qualities that made “White Night” such a charmer: bouncy tempos, bright guitar harmonies, and singalong melodies that work hard to cover up a story of nightlife burnout. “Oh your little problems. Well they’re overblown. And you think I’ll solve them. Well I can’t, and I won’t.” The video is appropriately D.I.Y. meets Happy Days. Check it out here: