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  • Stephen King’s “The Stand”: An Epic Showdown of Good vs. Evil (Music)

    Though I’m sure he’s done okay for himself as a novelist, I’ve always believed that deep down inside, Stephen King really always dreamed of being a rock star. Or barring that – there is, after all, the matter of his looks – a rockin’ rollin’ DJ in the 50s mode, when local DJs were bigger rock stars than the rock stars themselves. When I was in junior high and high school, I spent a lot of time reading Stephen King’s books and one of the things I remember loving – in fact, the one thing that drew me to his books long after the stories themselves ceased to interest me was the way he worked music into them. (I loved a lot of Robert Cormier’s books for the same reason – he introduced me to the Stones’ “19th Nervous Breakdown” via his novel I Am the Cheese, at a time when those old British fogies were bogged down in crud like “One Hit to the Body” and nothing could seem less cool than a Rolling Stones song to a 10-year-old whose musical memory ended somewhere between Andy Gibb and Captain & Tennille.)

    A lot of times, King’s inner DJ came out in the epigram (or three) at the beginning of each book (and maybe each chapter of the book too) – a stanza from Dylan, a couplet from CCR, etc. But Stephen King was also never above letting his characters give his inner record critic a voice. And it was a critic of the old school “rockist” variety. I can’t remember exactly which book it is (The Tommyknockers?), but I remember feeling awfully put out when one of his characters thought to himself, upon hearing T. Rex’s “Bang A Gong”, that Marc Bolan was better off dead in a world where the Power Station could cover his glam rock anthem.

    Good
    Yesterday, the Syfy Channel devoted its entire programming schedule to movies (or rather, made-for-TV miniseries) adapted from Stephen King stories, and I am sad to report that I spent very nearly 8 hours (interrupted only by a quick trip to Pizza Hut) watching “The Stand”, an epic in four two-hour parts starring Rob Lowe as a deaf mute, Gary Sinise as a reluctant prophet, and Molly Ringwald as a Mary figure – hers is not a virgin pregnancy, but the baby’s father was killed in a massive superflu plague that wiped out most all of humanity. Like the massive 1978 novel it was based on (made even massiver when a “complete and uncut edition” was published 12 years later), the miniseries is a pulpy vision of an apocalyptic showdown between good and evil in the Great American West, with the devil (incarnate as a man called Randall Flagg) setting up shop in Las Vegas (surprise!) and the righteous, led by a mystical, 106-year-old black woman who plays guitar and sings hymns on her porch (didn’t see that one coming, did you?) flocking to a land of milk and honey called Boulder, Colorado.

    Stephen King wrote the tele-play for the series and there are times when I wonder if he was being intentionally unintentionally hilarious with the dialog. Bill Fagerbakke (better known to folks my age as that big dimwitted Dauber from Coach, and to the kids of folks my age as the voice of Patrick Star) gets the best worst line when, playing to type as simpleton-with-a-heart-of-gold Tom Cullen, he laments (I’m paraphrasing), “I hate being a retard.” Several times, I got the feeling that this movie would be so much more fun if I could watch it in the same room with Sarah Palin. Stephen King even makes a cameo!

    Evil
    And then I noticed that Stephen King’s inner rock critic also makes a cameo. In the opening scene of the second part, we see Mother Molly Ringwald listening to Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over” on a turntable. Meanwhile, another one of his heroes is Larry Underwood, an aspiring musician who carries a guitar on his back. In one scene, he sits on the hood of a car singing 60s folkie Barry McGuire’s “Eve of Destruction” while Des Moines burns in the background. On the other hand, here’s one Harold Lauder, an insecure nerd (and unwitting minion of Satan – you can tell by his studded leather jacket) who’s never recovered from high school, plotting a terrorist attack on the “Free Zone” to exact revenge on Molly Ringwald for rejecting his affections in favor of Gary Sinise. And what’s Harold playing (on a cassette, no less!) while he’s building his bomb in the basement? The Sylvers’ “Boogie Fever”. The message of the movie couldn’t be clearer! Acoustic folk rock singer-songwriters, good. Disco: evil. Whoever said that rock n’ roll is the devil’s music?

    Then again, the message gets muddy during the climactic final battle between the forces of good and evil. Larry Underwood, one of three emissaries from the Free Zone sent to represent in the final battle against Randall Flagg in Las Vegas, is first arrested, and then besieged by a bloodthirsty mob. At one point, one of Flagg’s henchman confiscates Larry’s guitar and smashes it to bits, shouting “Disco is dead!”

  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 9?

    Tonight, two contestants go home. And they can blame the judges for saving Casey. The save is good for TV, but it’s sort of unfair. If America wanted Casey to go home, he should’ve gone home. Now, two people who aren’t Casey will have to go home all because of favoritism. But that’s show biz.

    J. Lo Booty Alert
    J. Lo is wearing another short, glittery dress, but again, we see no backside. You really have to try hard to not show backside when J. Lo is on the screen. And somehow they are able to do it.

    Lauren and Scotty are singing I Told You So. They are looking into each other’s eyes, trying to stir up emotion of love and love lost. Yet they are only teenagers. Ryan brings them both into the center. And they are both safe. That was a lay-up.

    I read a rumor that Casey and Haley are dating. And they are sitting right next to each other tonight.

    James is showing off his personalized WWE spinner belt with Crazy James engraved on it.

    Naima and Jacob are singing Solid. Together, they are solid as a rock. One is in the bottom three and one is safe. Naima is in the bottom three again, while Jacob is safe.

    Fantasia is performing and her hair is shiny and light brown with a huge curl on top. Poor girl also gained back a lot of weight. She’s still one of my favorite Idol contestants ever. If Jacob is worried about his style being too much for Idol, he just has to look at Fantasia. If she can win, so can Jacob.

    Haley, Thia, and Pia are performing Teenage Dream. Katy Perry must have some sort of charm, because that’s a terrible song and it was terrible with the three of them singing it. Pia is safe and Haley and Thia fight it out to stay out of the bottom two. It’s Thia. The lesson here is to show your boobs more.

    James, Stefano, Paul and Casey are performing together. Stefano should be shaking in his boots right now. Stefano is on the keys and the other three are on guitar. Casey is safe. James is safe. No surprises so far, but if Stefano is safe over Paul, that would be a bit of a surprise. I’m rooting for Stefano here. Surprise! Paul is in the bottom three.

    Jamie Foxx and will.i.am are on the stage together performing Hot Wings. This is pretty awful. What’s funny is that Jaime Foxx can actually sing. But when you go the will.i.am route, you just tell everyone you’re dumbing down your stuff to hit. Thankfully, it’s a song for a kids’ movie so the dumbing down isn’t as bad.

    Naima, Paul, and Thia are in the bottom three and two of them will go home. Paul is safe and Thia and Naima are going home. The moral of this story if you’re Naima is that if you try to be creative and everyone doesn’t feel it, you make yourself memorable for the wrong reason. As for Thia, the lesson learned is that interesting vocals don’t always work if you don’t have that stage presence. I never truly felt that Thia thought she could win. It was written all over her face (Rude Boys voice).

    Photo of Fantasia by Wikipedia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license

  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 10?

    I didn’t hear any spoilers for the show tonight, but I did hear that the bottom three was quite unexpected. I’m intrigued, but also very scared.

    They introduced the judges and finally, J. Lo is wearing a semi-tight skirt, but they barely give us a booty shot. Does J. Lo have it in her contract that they can’t shoot a booty shot?

    Sugarland is performing. My buddy Matt Bjorke is probably happy about that. Speaking of my buddy Matt, he interviewed Simon Cowell about his show “The X Factor” at his website, Roughstock. It’s a fun read.

    Jennifer Hudson is also going to perform tonight which is good timing because I recently heard someone compare Jacob Lusk to Jennifer Hudson. There is a lot of negative buzz for Jacob in the Twittersphere and on Facebook (remember when all the negativity used to come from the Blogosphere?) because of his over-the-top singing and his stage theatrics. There was similar negativity for Jennifer back in season three, but it was more so because of what was perceived as an attitude problem because she didn’t like Simon’s negative feedback.

    The crew is singing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. It was very American Idol-esque, but not bad at all. And really, if you screw up that song, you should just stop singing.

    And just like that, behind the curtain comes Steveland Wonder. My heart is warmed. How many real live legends are able to walk on stage with some American Idol kids and still rock it? He’s singing Signed, Sealed, Delivered. And then he performed Happy Birthday for Steven Tyler.

    Ryno just asked for the lights to be dimmed. He calls up Lauren, Pia, and Scotty. Ryno told them that they’d all be packing their bags… because they’d all be going on the summer tour. Lauren nearly jumped out of her dress.

    Sugarland is out to sing Stuck Like Glue. The lead singer Jennifer Nettles is rocking a salmon colored blazer, green pants, and red shoes with a turquoise scarf tied around her waste.

    They talked about James’ fascination with wrestling. Naima keeps saying that it’s fake. Naima baby, if wrestling was real, people would die inside the ring. And yes, soap operas and movies are fake too. James did a promo as The Miz and said he was awesome.

    Ryno asked Paul and James to the center. And, um, Hulk Hogan came out on stage and James marked out like no one else I’ve ever seen. The Hulkster told them that they were both safe. He said the bad news is that Ryno Seacrest was not safe and threw a great worked punch that Ryno sold terribly.

    Ryno calls up Jacob, Thia, and Stefano to the stage. Jacob is safe, but Thia and Stefano are in the bottom three.

    Naimi, Haley, and Casey are called to the stage. Naima is safe which means that either Haley or Casey is in the bottom three. Casey is in the bottom three. I still think his Nirvana performance hurt him more than helped him.

    It’s Jennifer Hudson time. Or at least half of what I remember Jennifer Hudson to look like time. The girl lost so much weight. I don’t think she could play Effie White anymore. What’s funny is that on the same show that Hulk Hogan appeared on, Hudson is on. Why is that funny? Jennifer Hudson is married to WWE wrestler David Otunga. Good old George Huff was singing background for Hudson.

    I think there’s a good chance that the crew saves Casey if he for any reason is out. But they don’t save either Stefano or Thia. Ryno sends Thia back to safety so it’s between J. Lo’s favorite Stefano and Casey.

    Stefano is safe, which means Casey has to sing for his Idol career. I don’t think the crew should use their save because sooner or later, they’re going to have to save Jacob. But Randall didn’t even let him finish singing and Steven Tyler said they were going to save him. Casey looked like he was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t believe it. It did make for a pretty great moment.

    Ryno announced that it will now be a top eleven for the tour, but next week, two people will go home. All in all, it was great live TV.

    Photo of Jennifer Hudson by Wikipedia and licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5 Generic, 2.0 Generic and 1.0 Generic license.