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Category: Reviews

music-and-concert-reviews-you-wont-see-anywhere-else

  • Janet Jackson’s "Discipline": FAIL!!!!

    http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003813980

    At the beginning of the year, Janet Jackson’s “Discipline” was touted as one of 2008’s most anticipated releases. It was her first album for Island Def Jam after two consecutive albums on Virgin had met with dwindling sales in light of the infamous Super Bowl incident with Justin Timberlake. First single “Feedback” was widely blogged about, MTV lifted it’s ridiculous four-year ban on Jackson, and it seemed like the album was capable of restoring Janet to the heights she enjoyed as one of the biggest selling female artists of the Eighties and Nineties.

    So, um…what happened?

    Despite “Discipline”‘s #1 debut on the album charts, it quickly sank. Scanning close to 200,000 units in its first frame, it’s barely doubled that in the 3 1/2 months since. “Feedback” didn’t catch on at radio, despite a radio-baiting Timbaland remix featuring Ciara. None of the follow-up singles caught fire, either, as “Luv” met with a middling response at urban radio and its pop counterpart, “Rock With U” bombed. To add insult to injury, Janet’s found herself outsold by contemporaries like Madonna (ironically teaming up with Timberlake) and Mariah Carey, not to mention the reissue of the 25 year old “Thriller” album, which has scanned nearly 200,000 more copies than “Discipline” in roughly the same amount of time, with significantly less promotion.

    Janet has resorted to the age-old artist trick of taking her label to task for what she calls inadequate promotion of the album, and has indicated that Island Def Jam is more or less pulling the plug on “Discipline”. Hell, if I was L.A. Reid, I’d probably do the same thing. I honestly don’t think the album’s relative lack of success has anything to do with the label’s efforts. They shot two videos, put Janet on just about every TV show they could think of, made nice with MTV and basically gave “Discipline” every chance to succeed.

    At least some of the blame has to go with Janet herself. “Discipline”, while not an awful album by any means, isn’t the stylistic equal of Janet’s most successful work. “Control”, “Rhythm Nation”, “janet.” And “The Velvet Rope” were fairly ballsy works, even if they trafficked in the mainstream pop/R&B realm. Janet had her finger on the pulse of what worked at radio while still maintaining some semblance of artistic credibility. Her last two albums have reeked of flop sweat, from the duets with Nelly to the alignment with producers-of-the-moment on “Discipline”. It sounds like Janet chasing trends as opposed to setting them, something that is quite disappointing in light of these comments Janet made shortly before the release of “The Velvet Rope” in 1997.

    “The applause will die. It happens to every single person in this business…It’s okay. I’d rather for people not know what I am, what I have, or who I am and to accept me for me”.

    So, the question then becomes, can Janet get her groove back? While the days of Janet Jackson, world-class megastar are probably over, I don’t see why Janet can’t continue to put out Gold, if not Platinum albums (and “Discipline”should have no problem crossing the half-million mark once Janet goes on tour). Step one would probably be to go back to Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis. The former Time members may not be the producers of the moment anymore, but they know Janet best. They bring out the artist in her. Think of the abomination that was “20 Y.O.” and remember that the album’s two best tracks, “Daybreak” and “Enjoy”, were Jam/Lewis tracks (with no Jermaine Dupri input). Next? How about dropping the nymphomaniac image? A sexual Janet was a breath of fresh air in 1993, interesting in 1997, boring in 2001, desperate in 2004, and in 2008, everyone is over that shit. Don’t be a one-trick pony. Madonna didn’t make “Erotica” for ten years, you don’t need to sing about your titties and vajayjay on every damn record. The reason folks liked those early Janet records so much is because they were relatable and autobiographical. A concept album about being a 42-year old woman in a contented relationship, dealing with career issues and wanting to start a family (while also contending with a pre-existing family of nuts?), now that’s the kind of album I wouldn’t mind hearing from Janet. As Prince once said “act your age, not your shoe size”. Not to say she should button herself up to the neck, but give the coochie a break, girl. Damn.

    The final thing to do would be to accept the fact that your star has dimmed somewhat and stop blaming people for things. Yeah, what MTV did to you was fucked up (and racist), but it was your idea to expose your breast in the first place. If she’d just fessed up initially and said “Hey, this was a publicity stunt that went awry”, people would have forgiven you a lot more quickly. It was your decision, you suffer the consequences. Same goes here. She strayed away from her artistic template and sold out with “Discipline”. Unfortunately, as she’s learned, selling out doesn’t always equal cashing in, and this is why the former Princess of Pop finds herself in the situation she’s in now.

    Hmmm…she also might wanna think about putting out a no-holds-barred autobiography. Now that’s some shit I would read cover-to-cover!!

  • Reality Rock Bottom Part Deux: Akon Guest Judges a Dance Competition (Seriously).


    It’s not just has-beens making humiliating appeals to reality TV show audiences to keep themselves in the public eye these days. It’s future has-beens -err, today’s pop up-and-comers. On this week’s finale episode of Bravo’s latest Project Runway-style competition Step It Up and Dance, hosted by Elizabeth Berkley (speaking of has-beens making humiliating appeals to reality TV show audiences), the guest judge for a preliminary challenge was none other than budding hip-hop mogul Akon.

    Joining Akon was his protégé Colby O’Donis (the show’s captions flatteringly identified him as a singer-songwriter) who wears a look of permanent bedazzlement and vacancy (think Lance Bass without the boy band to hide himself in). Colby O’Donis wasn’t there to judge. In fact, like a proper trophy boy, he barely spoke a word. And as it turns out, Colby was, in fact, the prize for this challenge. The winning dancer would appear in the, ahem, singer-songwriter’s forthcoming video, scheduled to be filmed in a couple weeks.

    The challenge involved the final four contestants – Cody Green, a Stepford dancer (from Canada!) with a respectable Broadway resume; Miguel Zarate, a flamboyant drama queen who bares a passing (from a distance, in the right light, if you squint really hard) resemblance to Prince, circa 1991; Michelle “Mochi” Camaya, a slinky, wildly versatile Filipino with a confident stage presence; and adorable underdog Nick Drago, the token straight guy with a chin like a cartoon robot – performing a sequence assembled by Rent choreographer Vincent Patterson set to Fergie‘s “Labels & Love” from the Sex and the City soundtrack. The sequence itself was a sort of razzle-dazzly number which had the dancers shopping for clothes like the Sex and the City foursome, only three of them were men, and a number of the moves were clearly meant to be danced by women.

    While all four performed the number respectably – even the hapless Nick, whose schtick was compared to Gene Kelly (“he’s a guy“) by one of the judges, was game for some awkwardly homo-but-not-really-erotic pairings – Mochi, as the only woman among them, had a clear advantage both in terms of the dancing, and, of course, the judging. While Akon was clearly impressed with the skills of Miguel, it was also abundantly clear that Miguel would not work in a Colby O’Donis video. It’s not just that Miguel could set off the gaydar of a small woodland creature 500 miles away: Miguel is, quite simply, a bigger star than Colby O’Donis. Mochi won the Akon challenge, and one can only guess that Colby O’Donis now sits on her mantle. Much to Miguel’s chagrin, Cody Green ultimately (and probably rightly) took the series’ $100,000 prize.

    -P. Lorentz

  • Reality Rock Bottom Starring Tiffany

    Are reality shows where celebrities go to die, or is it where they can continue to stay in the public eye for just that much longer? Is being on a reality show just enough visibility to keep your back catalog selling if you were a former music artist? Or does it turn old fans away?

    Several weeks ago, word was out that CMT (Country Music Television) was going to give the go ahead to a wrestling reality show starring none other than Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea). It was thought that the show could be canceled because of the recent bad light shed on Hogan’s family based his son Nick’s arrest for recklessly driving and crashing, leaving his best friend in need of lifetime medical care and in a nursing home.

    It not only doesn’t look to be canceled, but it even has a cast, per this Yahoo! story. Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling is going to be running wild on us soon.

    Looking up and down the cast, you have classic television stars, former wives of classic television stars, NBA stars, and whatever Trishelle is. But also, you have an 80s pop icon in Tiffany. I guess posing in Playboy and being on Celebrity Fit Club wasn’t enough.

    I don’t want to see Tiffany taking bumps or being called “brother” by Hulk Hogan either, but you have to admit, this has car crash TV written all over it.

    The Cast

    Dennis Rodman (Rod The Bod)
    Danny Bonaduce
    Dustin “Screech” Diamond
    Butterbean
    Frank Stallone (Take You Back)
    Todd Bridges (Whatchu talkin’ bout Willis?)
    Tiffany (80’s pop star)
    Erin Murphy (“Tabitha” from Bewitched)
    Nikki Ziering (ex-Playboy Playmate and ex-wife of Ian “Steve Sanders” Ziering)
    Trishelle Cannatella (drunken Real World slut)

    I say that Frank Stallone takes the whole season as “The Italian Stallion II”.