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  • Funeral songs…

    Funeral songs…

    I don’t mean to be a downer, but I’m in the market for some funeral songs…

    Over the past week or so, I’ve been dealing with some unfortunate family business. It’s the kind of business that affects every family eventually. My father is on his death bed, after several years of suffering from Lewy body dementia. The disease has been devastating and it’s robbed him of so many things. He used to be a great singer but his voice was ruined after a surgery after which he spent weeks in a coma and was therefore intubated. He used to love to exercise, but the Parkinsonian effects of his disease robbed him of being able to walk much. He used to love people, but the dementia made him less tolerant of others. He lost much of his autonomy and gained hallucinations, irrational thinking, and the need to sleep most of the time.

    About ten days ago, he stopped eating and complained of a stomach ache. My mom got worried. She called an ambulance and they went to the closest hospital, where a doctor determined that my dad’s gallbladder was inflamed. A decision was made to remove the organ. I found out about the surgery after it had already happened. When I heard about it, I had a sinking feeling that this could be end up being my father’s undoing. I told my husband, Bill, that we might need to make a quick trip to Virginia, which is where I’m from and where my parents still live. Sure enough, by the weekend we were on our way, since after the operation, my dad had trouble breathing and had to be intubated.

    I saw my dad on Sunday, after my mom made it clear that she wasn’t going to go to great lengths to save him from death. Not that I blame her for that… My dad wouldn’t want to be kept alive artificially and, when I saw him, I didn’t think he looked happy or comfortable. My mom confided to me that he had expressed a desire to be done with the disease. Fortunately, my sisters and I are all in agreement with my mom about the right thing to do for my dad.

    My dad loves music. In the community where I grew up, my dad was a well known star of many choral groups. He sang a lot of solos and always had some sort of gig going on. I didn’t become a singer until I was 18 and in college. I think I knew I liked music and was naturally good at it, but I didn’t want to compete with my dad or be compared to him. But I know I get a lot of my love for music from both of my parents, my dad especially. My sister said he had seemed to perk up a little when she played some music for him. I told her I had a few songs that I had recorded. She said I should play them for him. I did.


    I played this song first.

    My dad’s eyebrows raised a little as I played this. My sister said I should play another. For some reason, I ended up playing my version of “Bein’ Green” for my dad. I don’t even know if he knew that song, even though I was a young girl when it was popular. My sister encouraged me to sing along with my recording, but all I could manage to do was hum… and even that was choked up with emotion.


    There’s something about this song that makes me emotional.

    I came home yesterday. My dad was taken off the ventilator and my mom requested that it not be reconnected. I was told that he wasn’t doing so well without the ventilator, but I haven’t heard any news that he’s gone yet. It’s just a matter of time, though.

    My sister asked me to make her a CD with some of my recordings on it, so I’ve been gathering them… and even recorded a couple of new ones today. The ones I did today are a bit funereal. But then, my dad won’t have an actual funeral. My mom has arranged for his brain to be studied at Harvard University, so it may be some time before he’ll be ready for a memorial service. And given that I have to move to Germany by August, I don’t know that I’d be around for it anyway. So I thought I’d post a few songs I would play for my dad if I could plan the music for his service.


    Alison Krauss and Union Station singing “Heaven’s Bright Shore”.


    “The Far Side Banks of Jordan” performed by The Cox Family with Alison Krauss… I heard this one about twenty minutes after I lost my beloved beagle, MacGregor, and it gave me peace.


    And “I Will See You Again” which is so much like my parents’ relationship…

    A few weeks ago, I recorded a song that was written and originally performed by Karla Bonoff and later covered by Linda Ronstadt. I knew about it some time ago, but only recently rediscovered it. If I could, I’d play this when remembering my dad…


    This is my version of “Goodbye, My Friend”, but you can easily find the original and Linda Ronstadt’s version on YouTube.

    Like I said, I’m sorry to be such a downer today. Music is like a salve at times like this, even if funeral songs make me cry.

  • Reviewing Remember the Time: Protecting Michael Jackson in His Final Days

    Reviewing Remember the Time: Protecting Michael Jackson in His Final Days

    As of this past June, Michael Jackson has been dead for five years. Here’s a book written by two of his former bodyguards about what it was like to protect him.

    When I was growing up, Michael Jackson was at the pinnacle of his career. He put out amazing music with his brothers and by himself. His album, Thriller, was an amazing achievement that was universally admired by people around the globe. I remember having a crush on Michael Jackson, simply because of his musical talent. I knew little about what he was like when he wasn’t on stage or singing on an album.

    In the years following Thriller, Michael Jackson seemed to go from being an all American pop star universally admired to a bizarre freak show. The albums that followed Thriller were not as successful, though many people still loved his music and watching him dance. Despite his enormous talent, Jackson seemed to be a troubled man. His appearance changed dramatically. He seemed to be a man who was obsessed with childhood. Troubling accusations regarding his love of children arose and he soon found himself accused of molesting boys who had visited him at his Neverland Ranch. The man who had seemed wealthy and successful beyond measure began to falter in the public eye until he was just as often looked upon with scorn as he was adoration.

    Bodyguards Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard, along with author Tanner Colby, have collaborated to write Remember the Time: Protecting Michael Jackson in His Final Days. I hesitated before purchasing this book, since I figured it might be in poor taste. But then, the fear of being in poor taste has never stopped me from reviewing things before. Besides, I was genuinely interested in what these guys who were with Jackson in his final days had to say. So I read the book and mostly found it very interesting reading.

    This book is laid out as if Colby interviewed Whitman and Beard. Sections of the book are identified as written from each of their perspectives. Colby strings the bodyguards’ memories together with general history about the Jackson family and Michael Jackson’s career. Whitfield and Beard were with Jackson all the time in his final years and they heard and saw most everything going on in his life. It was their job to keep the paparazzi and fans at bay, as well as preventing process servers from giving Jackson legal paperwork. Evidently, people were constantly trying to sue Michael Jackson, sometimes for legitimate reasons and sometimes just because they wanted a chunk of his cash.

    Whitfield and Beard describe Jackson’s love of toys, magic shows, amusement park rides, and animals. They describe his insane shopping sprees during which he would drop tens of thousands of dollars at a time. At the same time, these two men claim that they, and others who worked for Jackson, frequently went without being paid. As I read about these men not having enough money to buy themselves lunch or get their suits dry cleaned, I wondered why they didn’t just quit. It later seemed clear to me that these two guys were incredibly loyal to Michael Jackson and his kids. Though he was a demanding boss, he had a childlike innocence about him that somehow enchanted his bodyguards. They write of how excited Jackson would get when his bodyguards were finally paid by his business manager.

    I was impressed by how respectful the bodyguards were, even years after Michael Jackson’s death. Throughout the book, they refer to him as “Mr. Jackson”, as if he is still a valued client. And yet, even as they call him by the honorific, they illuminate aspects of his private life. When it comes down to it, this book is probably providing them with some of the back pay they missed while in Michael Jackson’s employ. Some people may not appreciate this breach of confidence, even though Jackson has been dead for five years.

    Remember the Time is full of interesting anecdotes about how Michael Jackson parented his children, how he dealt with members of his family, and the business deals that ultimately made or lost Jackson a lot of money. Some of the stories are rather sweet, while others just make me think Michael Jackson was a tormented man who was misunderstood and chased by the public unrelentingly. Ultimately, I found this book fascinating. It really shows how money and fame don’t necessarily buy happiness.

    If you are a fan of Michael Jackson’s or you just want to read an account of what it’s like to be a megastar, you may enjoy reading Remember the Time. On the other hand, some readers may think this book is in poor taste. Frankly, I think the authors kept their stories as classy as possible under the circumstances.


    The song that no doubt influenced the title of this book…

  • Remembering Gerry Goffin…

    Remembering Gerry Goffin…

    The world lost a great lyricist yesterday. Today, I’m remembering Gerry Goffin.

    Carole King is one of my favorite singer-songwriters. Since I was a small child, I’ve loved her very personal music which is often accompanied by meaningful lyrics. Because I’m such a Carole King fan, I follow her on Facebook. Yesterday, she posted that her ex husband, the father of her two daughters, and former song writing partner, Gerry Goffin, died of natural causes. He was 75 years old.

    During his lifetime, Gerry Goffin wrote the lyrics for seven Billboard Hot 100 chart toppers and a total of 59 Top 40 hits. Though Goffin was best known for writing hits with Carole King, he also worked with some other big names in the music business, including: Russ Titleman, Barry Mann, Carole Bayer Sager, and Michael Masser. Goffin was also one of the first people to recognize Kelly Clarkson’s talent as a singer. He hired her to sing demos in 1995, years before she became famous for being the world’s first American Idol.

    I don’t want to write too much about his personal life, because honestly, I don’t know much about his personal life. What I know about are his songs, which could serve as a wonderful soundtrack for people who came of age in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s. In fact, I have an interesting anecdote related to Carole King and somewhat loosely to her first husband, Gerry Goffin.

    Back in April 2010, my husband Bill and I were on our very first cruise on SeaDream I, a small luxury mega yacht. It was a five night cruise in the Caribbean and, though we are definitely not financially well off people, it was populated by some folks who have ties to show business. One night, they had karaoke. It was very poorly attended. I think maybe six people showed up, most of whom didn’t want to sing. Since I love singing, I was game. I sang “I Feel The Earth Move”, which is a song that was written by Carole King alone.

    When I was finished singing, a lady approached me, along with a couple that she introduced as her parents. She complimented me on my voice and asked if I was in the music business. I said I was a housewife. We ended up hanging out for awhile and she told me that her husband works with Joan Jett. I later met her husband and was left with the impression that maybe he was in Joan Jett’s band. Her husband was wearing a USO baseball cap and told me he appreciated Bill’s service in the Army. Later, they had a brief conversation and the guy gave Bill his card. When we got home, I looked them up on the Internet and it turned out that the couple were Joan Jett’s managers and they were pretty much responsible for helping her to launch her career.

    Ever since then, anytime I listen to a song by Carole King– and so many of her best songs were co-written by Gerry Goffin– I think of meeting my friend Meryl and her husband, Kenny. In fact, when I shared Carole King’s status update about Goffin, Meryl shared in the sadness with me.

    One of my favorite songs penned by Gerry Goffin and Carole King is “Up On The Roof”. It was originally recorded by The Drifters. My favorite version is, of course, the one James Taylor recorded in 1979. I think it was the first song I ever heard by JT and it made me fall in love with his music. Who hasn’t fantasized about getting away from it all, even if it’s only for a little while, up on the roof?


    Gerry Goffin’s lyrics are so relatable in this song about escaping it all and gazing at the stars with someone special.

    Gerry Goffin and Carole King wrote “Take Good Care of My Baby”, a song that was a hit for Bobby Vee and was later used in lots of commercials… especially for baby products.


    Catchy, isn’t it?

    He also helped write a huge hit for the late Whitney Houston…


    Whitney Houston singing Goffin’s lyrics at the 1986 Grammys… I have always loved “Saving All My Love For You”.

    And one for Glenn Medeiros, popular when I was in high school…


    I confess, I didn’t know Gerry Goffin helped write this song until this morning…

    Another one of my favorite songs by Gerry Goffin is another one he wrote with Carole King… It’s been covered by so many people, myself included.


    Carole King sings “Will You Love Me Tomorrow”, her breakthrough hit with her ex husband, Gerry Goffin…

    The Shirrelles made “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” famous, but I love the way Carole King does it, especially when she’s backed up by James Taylor and Joni Mitchell. And I love the words, which captures the feelings of any young woman unsure of her paramour’s love for her. Obviously, the song resonated with a lot of people besides me.

    Today happens to be my birthday and it hasn’t gotten off to the best start. It’s a little sad to be listening to these great songs by Gerry Goffin and knowing that there won’t be any more from him, now that his work on Earth is done.