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  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 7?

    Last week, the Idol contestants could do no wrong. Well, except when J. Lo gave Pia some pretty subtle criticisms about her lack of dancing and swagger. Last night, the Idol contestants could do no wrong. But wait, there was one person the judges slammed last night. That person was Haley. I fully expect Haley to go home tonight because when everyone gets praise, it’s the criticisms that stick out like a sore thumb. And also, I think Casey’s fanbase was out in droves last night voting for fear that he’d leave again after his interesting song choice (though really good performance).

    J. Lo Booty Alert
    Finally, she showed it. She waved to the crowd behind her and turned her back toward the camera and it was out there in display. I’m still waiting for the tight, white pants to show up, so she can show it off in all its glory.

    Scotty and Lauren are duetting on stage together and they are so cute together singing in their country twang. I think those two are the easiest artists to sell out of the contestants this season. If those kids don’t sell at least 500,000-750,000 albums in their rookie releases, someone needs to be fired. It’s easy money.

    Haley and Casey are singing together and they aren’t as cute together as Scotty and Lauren were. They are battle scatting out there and all the ten year old little girls are losing interest. But their mothers who actually enjoy music are probably getting a kick out of it.

    Ryno pulls both twosomes out on the stage. Predictably, he sends Scotty back to safety. I’m sure Lauren is going to be safe as well. Yep, she’s safe. Well, it’s Haley who is in the bottom three. And Casey just told her that he loved her, at least I think. He’s done for next week after doing that.

    Because the majority of voters seem to be young girls, it’s paramount that the dudes at least pretend that they’re single. If those little girls saw what I saw, they’re probably majorly bummed and will leave him for Scotty. Scotty gets it. Casey doesn’t get it at all. He just makes so many rookie Idol mistakes.

    Rob Reiner is on the show for whatever reason. None of those young kids watched When Harry Met Sally. Please.

    Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson are on stage singing Don’t You Wanna Stay. You can barely see Jason as he’s tucked underneath the brim of his cowboy hat. Kelly sounds really good. I’m sure they’ll see a boatload more on iTunes tonight.

    The rest of the four dudes are on stage together with Paul and James in the middle with their guitars and Stefano and Jacob tapping their feet and singing. It was fun, but nothing to write home about.

    Ryno pulls the dudes into the center. Ryno sends Big Game James back to safety. Stefano is in the bottom three. Paul is also in the bottom three. Jacob is safe.

    So, our bottom three is Paul, Stefano, and Haley. I had Casey in the bottom three, but had Haley and either Paul or Stefano in the bottom three as well. So I was close.

    Chaka Khan and Anita Baker are in the audience to help introduce Rihanna. I wish Turbo and Ozone were with Chaka. Rihanna’s a ginger-head. I’ve never heard a love song about a California king bed until now. I guess she’s grown out of bunk beds. Rihanna is great and all, but I want to see who is eliminated.

    Teflon Haley is safe again! Casey is way too happy with his mischievous grin. I would’ve bet money on Stefano leaving here, but it’s Paul who goes home. The quirky dancing, drunken singing, and floral suits stop here.

    Notice the judges weren’t heartbroken that Paul was leaving tonight. If you don’t think there’s heavy favoritism on that table, you don’t watch closely. They know that he wasn’t selling a milli for Jimmy.

    Seacrest out!

    Photo of Rihanna via Wikipedia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license

  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 8?

    Last night was a fairly boring night for American Idol. No one really stood out and the judges reaped everyone with praise. Well, except for Pia. J. Lo was very positive in her critique, but if you break down what she was really telling Pia, it was that she needed to step up her entertainment game and that it wasn’t only about her voice. If you think about it, J. Lo knows that. J. Lo can’t hold a tune herself, yet she’s survived in the music business because she entertains.

    Jacob led off the show and had some odd, preachy statement which said something to the extent of, if you vote me off, it’s your fault, not mine. It really came out of left field. As if he’s not already polarizing enough. It just gave the people who can’t stand him more ammunition.

    After the show was over, I thought Pia, Paul and Haley could be in trouble. However, for whatever reason, the judges want Haley to stick around. But at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised who leaves. Everyone, with the exception of Lauren and Jacob are all on the same playing field. Those two are the only ones who stand out, though, when Jacob decides he needs more enemies, it scares me.

    J. Lo Booty Alert
    J. Lo is wearing some hip hugging, but baggy, shiny pants, but again, no view of the badonkadonk.

    The group did a bunch of songs that weren’t all that impressive or that fun.

    Ryno said that the crew was visited by a “charisma coach”, which was just a way to get Russell Brand on TV to hype his movie Arthur. He did absolutely nothing and it was a waste of a few minutes of the show.

    Casey, Stefano, and Lauren are asked to join Ryno. One of the three are in the bottom three and that person is Stefano.

    Ryno ruins my evening and says that Constantine is singing live tonight. And he’s singing Unchained Melody. The second he’s shown on stage, I feel molested.

    (I actually saw Constantine in person several years ago. My friend was trying out for American Idol and in order to be able to try out, you had to get your credentials super early in the morning the day before. While waiting in line to get the credentials, Constantine was there. And if he doesn’t already look strung out normally, imagine him at 6AM. He looked like he’d been on quite the bender. The photo above was taken on that morning.)

    Yes, he’s also terribly oversinging the song and looks eerily like Russell Brand.

    Gwen Stefani dressed the girls this week. It’s more wasteful TV, but Gwen is secretly super tall. She also desperately needs a tan.

    Ryno calls up Paul, Scotty, and Pia. Paul looks quite unkempt tonight. Scotty is safe, Paul is safe, and Pia is in the bottom three. This is very interesting. It’s also interesting when the contestants are surprised that someone is in the bottom three. When Paul came back to safety, the contestants were astonished to see him. Jacob mouthed, “Wow” right as Paul walked by him.

    There’s a TMZ segment where the contestants get grilled by TMZ “reporters”. This was more wasteful than Gwen and Russell Brand put together. Just horrendous television.

    Ryno calles up James, Haley, and Jacob to the stage. If Haley is safe, we riot. James is safe. And Haley is safe. Jacob is in the bottom three. Damnit Jacob! You can’t preach on American Idol unless your name is Simon.

    Iggy Pop is on stage. Yep, perfect for the American Idol demographic here. He’s shirtless with an old skinny man’s body. He also looks like he smells really badly, though I’m not sure how I can tell that. And I think he was just bleeped from saying the “F” word. He then got right up in J. Lo’s face and I’m not sure that she liked it.

    Ryno brought up the dumb thing Jacob said yesterday, but it didn’t matter because he’s safe. We’re down to Stefano and Pia, who are rumored to be dating, by the way. Stefano is safe and Pia is going home. Randall looks shocked. Ryno kind of gave away the finish when he said the vote could be shocking tonight.

    J. Lo is crying. Randall is in shock because Pia is one of the best singers. Well guess what judges, that’s what you get for saving Casey so early. Pia is just as savable as Casey was and possibly more so when it comes down to what kind of music they want to promote.

    This kind of sucks for Stefano because the judges keep saying that America got it wrong, which means they think he should’ve gone home. This is the first time this season where someone who could’ve actually won this show has gone home. I now fear big time for big Jacob. If Pia can go home, he can too.

    Seacrest out!

  • American Idol Season 10 – Who Makes The Final 9?

    Tonight, two contestants go home. And they can blame the judges for saving Casey. The save is good for TV, but it’s sort of unfair. If America wanted Casey to go home, he should’ve gone home. Now, two people who aren’t Casey will have to go home all because of favoritism. But that’s show biz.

    J. Lo Booty Alert
    J. Lo is wearing another short, glittery dress, but again, we see no backside. You really have to try hard to not show backside when J. Lo is on the screen. And somehow they are able to do it.

    Lauren and Scotty are singing I Told You So. They are looking into each other’s eyes, trying to stir up emotion of love and love lost. Yet they are only teenagers. Ryan brings them both into the center. And they are both safe. That was a lay-up.

    I read a rumor that Casey and Haley are dating. And they are sitting right next to each other tonight.

    James is showing off his personalized WWE spinner belt with Crazy James engraved on it.

    Naima and Jacob are singing Solid. Together, they are solid as a rock. One is in the bottom three and one is safe. Naima is in the bottom three again, while Jacob is safe.

    Fantasia is performing and her hair is shiny and light brown with a huge curl on top. Poor girl also gained back a lot of weight. She’s still one of my favorite Idol contestants ever. If Jacob is worried about his style being too much for Idol, he just has to look at Fantasia. If she can win, so can Jacob.

    Haley, Thia, and Pia are performing Teenage Dream. Katy Perry must have some sort of charm, because that’s a terrible song and it was terrible with the three of them singing it. Pia is safe and Haley and Thia fight it out to stay out of the bottom two. It’s Thia. The lesson here is to show your boobs more.

    James, Stefano, Paul and Casey are performing together. Stefano should be shaking in his boots right now. Stefano is on the keys and the other three are on guitar. Casey is safe. James is safe. No surprises so far, but if Stefano is safe over Paul, that would be a bit of a surprise. I’m rooting for Stefano here. Surprise! Paul is in the bottom three.

    Jamie Foxx and will.i.am are on the stage together performing Hot Wings. This is pretty awful. What’s funny is that Jaime Foxx can actually sing. But when you go the will.i.am route, you just tell everyone you’re dumbing down your stuff to hit. Thankfully, it’s a song for a kids’ movie so the dumbing down isn’t as bad.

    Naima, Paul, and Thia are in the bottom three and two of them will go home. Paul is safe and Thia and Naima are going home. The moral of this story if you’re Naima is that if you try to be creative and everyone doesn’t feel it, you make yourself memorable for the wrong reason. As for Thia, the lesson learned is that interesting vocals don’t always work if you don’t have that stage presence. I never truly felt that Thia thought she could win. It was written all over her face (Rude Boys voice).

    Photo of Fantasia by Wikipedia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license