It’s Valentine’s Day, but not everyone is feeling the love… How about a few “anti love songs”?
I had an interesting experience yesterday on Facebook. I shared a photo of Will Ferrell looking particularly loser-ish with a caption that read,
“If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… Nobody loves you on the other days of the year, either.”
When I posted that meme, I was just trying to be funny. And indeed, several people indicated that they thought the photo was funny. I could even identify with the photo’s snarky comment, having endured 29 straight Valentine-less Valentine’s Days before I finally started dating my husband. I definitely know why Valentine’s Day can suck if you get too caught up in it.
Imagine my surprise when someone took me to task for being “mean”. This person felt that I was shaming all the dateless and loveless people of the world. After that exchange, I got to thinking. Everybody wants to talk about love on Valentine’s Day… hearts, flowers, candy, kisses and jewelry. But what about all the people out there who aren’t feeling the love on this Hallmark holiday? Shouldn’t we include them in the fun? So in the interest of recognizing those who are alone and bitter about it on Valentine’s Day, here are a few anti love songs.
Gloria Jones, Soft Cell, and Marilyn Manson “Tainted Love”
Gloria Jones recorded the original version of “Tainted Love” back in 1964. In 1981, Soft Cell covered “Tainted Love”, introducing a new generation to this searing song about a toxic partner. It’s also been covered by Marilyn Manson.
Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive”
Here’s a good, hearty “f u” song for all the women who have been dumped by an insensitive ass on Valentine’s Day. Hey buddy, I will survive… so hit the road!
Ray Charles “Hit The Road, Jack”
Speaking of hitting the road, here’s a classic anti love song by Ray Charles.
The Police “So Lonely”
Sting, Andy Summers, and Stuart Copeland must have been feeling especially lonely when they penned this song about being all alone and hating it.
Erykah Badu “Tyrone”
The first time I heard this song, I was in at a karaoke bar in Richmond, Virginia. A young lady got up and sang this song with a lot of heart and soul… and I just had to go find it so I could hear the original. Erykah Badu is sick and tired of her man not pulling his weight. So she invites him to “call Tyrone”… Not safe for work.
Pat Benatar “Heartbreaker”
Pat Benatar comes on like a freight train with this rocking hit about a guy who’s a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker… and just not a nice person.
Martin Briley “Salt In My Tears”
This is a pretty good break up song. It’s sung by a guy, but I know a lot of women who can relate to the very same sentiments in this caustic song about a person who is pretty much worthless. I mean, how much can the salt in one’s tears be worth, anyway? If you’re not worth that much, you’re not worth much!
Alanis Morisette “You Oughta Know”
No anti love song list would be complete without this new classic song by Alanis Morisette. Was it really written about Dave Coulier of Full House fame? I don’t know, but she sure seems good and pissed.
Wham! “Everything She Wants”
“Everything She Wants” was a big hit for Wham! back in 1985, but it’s also kind of an anti love song about a greedy woman who takes advantage of her significant other, driving him to the brink of exhaustion with her constant demands for more and more… and she’s pregnant, too?
Harry Nilsson “You’re Breaking My Heart”
Harry Nilsson sings this profane song to the heartbreaker in his life. Believe it or not, the first time I ever heard this song was on the soundtrack from the 1983 teen sex flick Private School. Though the title seems innocuous, this song is loaded with f-bombs. Listen with care.
Francine Queen of Obscene “He’s An A******”
Here’s a song I found on Red Peters’ Song Snatch podcast. It’s definitely not safe for work or if your kids are around, but I have a feeling that a lot of women can relate to this profane number about a woman who has just had an unfortunate run in with an oversexed, unfaithful jerk.
Ken Turetzky “Her Sh*t Don’t Stink”
Ladies aren’t the only ones who have run-ins with inconsiderate lovers. Ken Turetzky reminds everyone what it’s like to be dumped by a narcissistic woman who thinks her shit doesn’t stink.
The Bloodhound Gang “No Hard Feelings”
With a chilling line that goes “I’m missing you like a hijacked flight on September 11th”, this song definitely qualifies as an anti love song. I can think of a few people I could dedicate this song to… Definitely not safe for work.
Red Peters “The Spelling Song”
And finally, here’s a song that if you can’t spell and don’t listen too carefully to the words, might actually seem kind of pleasant. But it’s definitely a kiss off song from both affected parties.
In all seriousness, I hope everyone has a happy Valentine’s Day. And if your Valentine’s Day hasn’t been fun because you’re sad, bitter, and lonely, I hope a few of these songs at least help you feel a little less alone.