Jimmy Iovine wants us to believe that Jacob Lusk is close to elimination. Randall Jackson said the same thing last night. Think about this for a second. In a singing competition, Haley could outlast Jacob. In any other examination of singing as an artform, people would be up in arms. But on this show? Nope, no one cares. They’re fine with it. American Idol has warped our brains.
Of course, it’s much more than just voice. It’s presentation and charisma and look. But let’s not be vague about this. The reason why people are ok with Jacob Lusk leaving a singing competition before someone like Haley is because he has a feminine personality, and for whatever reason, that’s offensive to viewers. The fact that Steven Tyler was insinuating that Haley and Casey were knocking boots on last night’s show wasn’t offensive. But Jacob sings in a dramatic fashion and it’s offensive. I’m calling you out America. It’s flat out wrong.
J. Lo Booty alert
I turned on the show and J. Lo was immediately seated. Fail.
Bruno Mars is on the show tonight. My twitter friend, Raphael is a dead ringer for him.
The Idol crew sings a medley of Carole King’s hits. After seeing each contestant sing once and then seing three duets last night, I’m fine with fast forwarding through this. But Scotty was signing amidst 6 young girls. I would’ve never let my daughter be looked at as Scotty groupie food like that.
Hey, Crystal Bowersox is singing live tonight. You know how Haley has big teeth? Crystal just has bad teeth. But she sings well. Ryan didn’t even ask her to give the contestants any advice. They just went straight to commercial. Bad hosting Seacrest.
Ryno is taking email questions and the first one is for Casey. Casey was asked who he would want to sing a duet with, living or dead. Casey said Oscar Peterson and the crowd clapped as if they knew who Oscar Peterson was. Someone asked Jacob when he found his range. He said singing in choir when he could sing all the parts. Lauren is asked what the hardest part about being a finalist is. She said missing friends and family. Someone asked Scotty what his pre-Idol job was. He worked at a grocery store and a tanning salon. Someone asked James if he played with a band before Idol. Of course he has. Haley’s teeth was asked who her all-time favorite Idol contestant was and she answered Adam Lambert and then answered about 5 more. Yes, that was as painful to watch and write as it was painful to read.
Ryno brings Haley’s teeth to the stage. Haley’s teeth is safe tonight.
Scotty is in the center of the stage. Ryno just tells him to sit down, but doesn’t tell him if he’s safe or not. He brings Lauren to the stage. Then he tells her to sit down too. And he does the same to Casey. He’s also trying to sell that it’s going to be a surprise. At this point, who going home would be a surprise? They’re all pretty even. Well, except for Haley’s teeth, but she’s already safe.
Big Game James is safe. So it’s between Jacob, Casey, Lauren, and Scotty. Jimmy Iovine thinks that Jacob is on banana peel status because of his clothing choice from last night.
Lauren is safe. So it’s down to three dudes.
Bruno Mars is onstage singing The Lazy Song. It’s exactly what it’s titled. It’s one of the worst singles on the album and is the underachiever’s anthem. He sings about P90X, doing the Dougie, and just not combing his hair. Yes, and he put it on his album. And yes, I hear it on the radio. Stoner’s are ruling the world people.
Jacob is safe which has to mean Casey’s a goner. Pia is going to cackle if Casey goes home. She’s cackling and cackling hard. Casey is going home.
He went home in fashion. He nearly made out with Steven Tyler on his way out. He had J. Lo in tears and decided to kiss a bunch of women on the cheek and high five a bunch of dudes as the show went to credits. Seacrest out!
(I guess my entire intro wasn’t necessary since Jacob didn’t go home eh?)
Photo of Bruno Mars is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.