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Tag: Shakira

  • American Idol Season 9 – Who Makes The Top 5?

    We’re not necessarily down to the nitty gritty just yet, but we’re close. With just six competitors left, we’re halfway home.

    You could say that last night’s show was the most competitive one thus far, though I disagreed with a lot of the love the judges were throwing out last night. How about next year, you can’t hide behind the guitar and just play?

    George, the big kahuna of this website had a pretty good idea for next year.

    He said:

    My real hope for this show is that next year, you get to play a guitar ONCE if you make the top 12 and you get to play a piano/keyboard ONCE. That’s twice you get to play an instrument.

    I like that idea. This way, Casey James and Lee DeWyze don’t get to be boring behind their guitar and get major love from the judges. It’s a singing competition yes, but if your winner has zero personality and charisma, or in DeWyze’s case, looks like he’s going to pee his pants whenever Ryan talks to him, how can you sell any of his or her records?

    Rascal Flatts is on stage performing Unstoppable. Even though I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a fan, I’ve always liked them from afar. They’ve always seemed more pop than actual country to me, but that might be simply because I’m not a big country music connoisseur.

    Cameron Diaz and the man who once looked like Antonio Banderas are on stage to promote the newest Shrek film. Diaz is wearing heals, but she’s at least half a head taller than Ryno.

    Dim the lights, and here we go…

    Ryno tells creepy girl to stand up. She goes to the far left of the stage to be in one of three groups.

    Ryno calls up Aaron Kelly next. Kelly forgot the take the hanger out of his jacket before he put it on. He goes to the center of the stage.

    Last night, I thought that Big Mike sounded a lot like Shawn Stockman from Boyz II Men. Tonight, he’s wearing a Boyz II Men cardigan sweater. He goes to the far right of the stage. Motown Philly back again…

    Ryno asks Lee DeWyze a question and he answers by saying, “I mean…” Um, Lee. You don’t mean anything if you haven’t spoken yet. He joins creepy girl on the left side of the stage.

    Casey joins Big Mike on the right and Crystal joins Aaron in the middle.

    Ryno tells creepy girl to walk towards Big Mike and Casey and they are the bottom three.

    Carrie Underwood is out to introduce Sons Of Sylvia. Can someone just give Carrie a sammich? That girl is going to wither away. The lead singer from SOS looks like Bill Hader from Saturday Night Live, except with a mullet. He’s straight up singing while playing a violin.

    Lady Antebellum is out singing Need You Now. I know they’re hot and the song is very nice, but I’m not overwhelmed. I’ll take a mulleted Bill Hader any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

    Now, Shakira is on stage playing the harmonica singing Gypsy with Rascal Flatts. Is this American Idol or the American Music Awards? Sorry, I didn’t get that at all. Thankfully, I’m watching this on the DVR. All I saw was Shakira dancing really fast.

    Ryno tells Big Mike that he’s safe. It’s between Casey James and creepy girl.

    And, the person who goes home tonight is…

    I’m sad. How can I keep writing this post for the next month without my creepy girl? The creepy girl has left the building.

    I know that I once said that whenever I see Siobhan on screen I feel the need to lock my door, but I have liked a bunch of her performances. I’ll leave you with my favorite.

  • 2009 American Music Awards Play By Play – West Coast Edition

    Since I’m on the West Coast, we’ll pretend this show is just starting.

    (By the way, Money Mike posted his own East Coast version up. It’s East Coast vs. West Coast all over again.)

    I remember as a kid when I used to count down the time until the AMAs were about to start. Now? Not so much. They don’t make award shows like they used to, but hopefully we’ll get some fun performances.

    I expect lots of Jay-Z love, lots of Michael Jackson love, lots of Taylor Swift love, and the opposite of lots of love for Kanye West.

    Like Arsenio used to say, “Let’s get busy!”

    Janet Jackson
    Janet Jackson
    – The show started with Janet already in mid-performance. She’s going through the old hits, though not wearing the old wardrobe. She’s wearing a brown outfit that makes her look like a baggy Pocahontas.

    – Who seated Mary J. Blige next to Carrie Underwood? I bet they could talk about old boyfriends.

    MJ: Girl, you think Tony Romo was bad? Man, I wanted to break K-Ci’s knee caps.
    CU: You dated KC from the Sunshine Band?
    MJ: Um, no. K-Ci from Jodeci. Forget it.

    – The only problem with Janet going through her old hits is that it just makes anything she’s done in the last 5 years look so bad in comparison.

    – Paula Abdul is the first presenter. No, she didn’t make any Ellen DeGeneres looks, acts, and sounds like a boy jokes, though you know she wanted to.

    – The Black Eyed Peas won the first award which was for favorite group in the pop/rock category. At least this time, Fergie’s face didn’t break the HD tuner on my TV like it did last week.

    (I DVRd Saturday Night Live last week and watched it after the fact. The picture was perfect until Fergie started to sing. The picture became pixelated and then was suddenly fixed when the performance was over. Coincidence? I think not.)

    – The only thing I can really say about Shakira’s performance is, “Oh my damn.”

    – Even though that long dress made her hips and legs look like a pair of parentheses ( ), Kelly Clarkson sung the hell out of We Were Never Meant To Say Goodbye.

    – Alex Rodriguez just introduced Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. I bet he and Timberland and Dr. Dre could talk PEDs for days.

    – Nope, not sick of Empire State Of Mind yet.

    – Kate Hudson is wearing a dress that shows off her 14-year old boyish chest. She could get away with going shirtless and I don’t think anyone would flip.

    – Oh man, I hope my TV can take it. The Black Eyed Peas are back on stage. Fergie Ferg ’bout to break my TV again.

    – Thankfully, my TV was fine. The performance was actually fine too. And she didn’t piss herself on stage, which is always a plus.

    – Your boy Michael Jackson won the award for favorite male artist in the Soul/R&B and you know who accepted it for him. If you answered greasy Jermaine, you were right. Also, you got to see his son Jermajesty, which was a treat in that of itself. I was almost sure that child didn’t really exist. But he did!

    – I know nothing about the Zack Brown band. But what I learned today is that some of those dudes have some manly beards.

    – Beyonce won an award and then it was announced that she wasn’t there. My heart rate has never been so up and down in a five second period ever in my life.

    – Hat makers thank Ne-Yo for keeping them in business.

    – Rihanna has the same haircut that David Silver rocked in the first season of Beverly Hills, 90210.

    – Carrie Underwood looks good and sounds good, but needs to stay off the salad. Yes, you can be too thin. She and Kate Hudson are trying to out-skinny each other.

    – Lady GaGa was carrying something in both of her back pockets, but she doesn’t have any pockets. Hmmm.

    – That Lady GaGa performance was just, um, it was just, um, hmm. If I tried to describe it, you wouldn’t understand and I’d just give myself nightmares. This is why YouTube was invented.

    – Not sure about you, but I can really do without these Perez Hilton audience shots.

    – Some country group called Gloriana just beat Lady GaGa for the Breakthrough Award. I think I saw GaGa walk off in a huff and fly away in her spaceship.

    – Ok, I think they edited this show for us on the West Coast. There’s supposed to be a part during J-Lo’s performance and she falls while performing. All I saw is that she jumped, all of a sudden it went into slow motion, and then jump cut city. Again, why YouTube was created.

    – You go Whitty. Do your thing. Somewhere, Bobby Brown gently weeps while shaving those lines into the side of his head.

    – I’m not sure Whitney did this on purpose or not, but she screamed, “I love YOU,” like Michael Jackson used to do it where you emphasize the “you”. I think that was a shout out to Mike.

    – Taylor just won award number two and she’s not even there. I think that if you don’t attend the show and you’re not in jail like TI, or you didn’t pass away before it was given out, you have to automatically give it to Kanye.

    – And just as I say that, MJ won for favorite male artist in Pop/Rock. Greasy is back on the scene to accept the award, but this time, sans Jermajesty.

    – Lady GaGa was breaking fake glass on her piano that was on fire. Alicia Keys just did her one better by playing her piano in mid air while it was spinning. Supposely GaGa saw that from her space ship and just went into hyper speed.

    – It’s pretty telling that Eminem decided to do his verse from Drake’s Forever since nearly everything on his album was garbage.

    – Timbo is now on stage and the back of his neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. But I’m not mad because he just let Nelly Furtado join him and she’s still looking foine.

    – There’s been a Toni Braxton sighting. Good to see her back and I hope she’s healthy. Jimmy Jackson and Jason Kidd just remembered why they hate each other.

    – My main man Ryan Seacrest is out to give out the Artist Of The Year.

    Let me run down the candidates quickly:

    Eminem – Relapse may be the worst album of the year.
    Michael Jackson – Dude sold more records dead than anyone alive is selling this year, except probably Taylor Swift. Also took all the buzz away from the Beatles re-releases.
    Kings Of Leon – My friend Christal had to show me their video the other day. I’d never seen it before. Enough said.
    Lady GaGa – She’s too far ahead of her time. Like by maybe 500 years.
    Taylor Swift – I don’t have a Taylor Swift song in my music library, but she was pretty fun on Saturday Night Live.

    And Taylor Swift beats MJ. Ok, maybe she wasn’t that fun on Saturday Night Live. And she talks like Drew Barrymore.

    – Adam Lambert is closing the show. However, I don’t think he’s closing it out Mariano Rivera style.

    – I wonder if I can get my hair as high as Adam’s. That might be a 2010 goal for me.

    – Wait, is Adam Lambert gay?


    Photo of Janet from Wikipedia and shared through creative commons

  • Her Name Might Be Nicole, But She’s A Pussycat Doll

    One of the “it” girls in music over the last few years has been former Eden’s Crush member and current Pussycat Dolls lead singer Nicole Scherzinger. She was featured everywhere from magazine covers to award shows and seemed to be the next breakout star. After helping Diddy get his groove back with his biggest solo hit in years Come To Me, it seemed like a done deal. With an exotic look, a decent enough voice to make it in music today, and with Pussycat Dolls’ hits in her back pocket, it seemed that the world was ready for Nicole.

    But something happened on the way to super stardom. The album, titled Her Name Is Nicole, was finished and singles had been released including Whatever U Like and Baby Love. But both failed to spark the necessary fire that Interscope and Scherzinger wanted and the album was delayed.

    On Nicole’s website, she posted in her blog on February 12, 2008 that she’s grateful the album was pushed back.


    I know you have all been waiting patiently for the release of “Her Name Is Nicole” and I want you to know that I am actually grateful the album has been pushed back. Yes, I REALLY mean that. You see, I want to make sure this album is the best I can make it because I owe that to myself, and to all of you, to release the best music I possibly can. I hope you all continue with me on this journey because it will be worth the wait.

    In a sense, it reminded me of Claudette Ortiz who was the lead singer of a group called City High that had a hit song in 2001 called What Would You Do. Much like Scherzinger, Ortiz had breakout star written all over her. Wycle Jean featured her on his single Two Wrongs. She also joined him on a track called Dance Like This, which became more famous because Wyclef and Shakira redid it and called it Hips Don’t Lie. I’m not sure what Ortiz is doing musically today.

    As for Scherzinger, she’s back with her Pussycat Dolls sisters with an album scheduled for later in the summer. The first single is When I Grow Up, which you can listen to below.

    Will Her Name Is Nicole ever drop? If it does, expect it to be largely different than what she already recorded if history is any indication. Usually these days, artists push back albums because their tracks get leaked and aren’t received well (this happened to Usher’s album that eventually became Confessions). In Scherzinger’s case, actual singles were released and the album was delayed. Instead of waiting for the delayed solo album to drop, she’s moving on as evidenced by the new Pussycat Dolls record. The question is, if PCD doesn’t duplicate their previous success, will people still want to hear Nicole as a solo?