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  • Grammy Week!: SonicClash’s 2010 Predictions: Rap

    I have a love/hate relationship with the Grammy Awards. I love lists, and I love award shows, so even a minor-league award show piques my interest-and there’s nothing minor-league about the Grammys. This ceremony is to music what the Academy Awards are to movies. Not only is the receiving of this award a validation of sorts for the artists that win (after all, this award is voted on by other musicians as well as assorted execs and other industry folk), but it also pays dividends at the cash register-ask artists like Bonnie Raitt and Ricky Martin. Raitt’s surprise sweep in 1990 finally turned her into a superstar after decades of performing. Martin’s performance of “The Cup of Life” 11 years ago introduced him to a huge Middle American audience who had no idea who he was.

    On the other side of the coin is the fact that the people who are part of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (the team that nominates artists and chooses who wins) have made some foolish choices over the years. An overly conservative block of voters has conspired to overlook some incredibly influential artists and bands over the years. Led Zeppelin never won a Grammy. Neither did Bob Marley. Other artists who have never won a Grammy Award: Diana Ross, The Clash, Hall and Oates, The Talking Heads, Public Enemy…need I go on? Smokey Robinson and James Brown have one Grammy each. The Rolling Stones have two.

    There have also been some pretty major errors in judgment over the years. Remember Christopher Cross’s Grammy sweep in 1981? How about Jethro Tull winning the first Grammy ever awarded in a heavy metal category? Steely Dan’s “Two Against Nature” beating “Kid A” and “The Marshall Mathers LP” for Album of the Year in 2001? What about Herbie Hancock beating Kanye West and Amy Winehouse in the same category just two years ago? The fact of the matter is that the majority of Grammy voters are over 50 (and thus, out of touch with what current musical tastes and genres are) and comprise whatever the music industry version of the Old Boys’ Network is, which leads rock crit-types (or really, anyone with more than a passing interest in contemporary music) to go batsh*t insane every year when the nominees and then the winners are announced.

    This year’s nominees are not so much out of touch as they are predictable. For better or for worse, this year’s big nominees represent what was actually popular in 2009. So the leading nominees are R&B diva Beyonce Knowles, country sweetheart Taylor Swift, dance diva Lady GaGa and (it pains me to write this) The Black Eyed Peas. All of the above named artists are talen-three of the four above named artists are talented, but even in what was a pretty crappy year for music, it’s hard to argue for any of these folks being the best that the industry had to offer last year.

    At any rate, I’ll be bringing you my predictions in the major categories and genres (except for country, which I will admit is not my most knowledgeable genre, despite more than a passing interest), with all the appropriate commentary. My success rate over the years has actually been pretty good, which should clue you in on how predictable the Grammys really are. Or maybe I have the inside track and actually know who the winners are before they’re announced? (No, that’s not the case. Although several people I know receive ballots, they’re quite tight-lipped about their choices).

    Anyway, we’re gonna start this party off with the rap categories. While the very first rap Grammy (back in 1989) went to the mom-friendly DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince despite the fact that the previous year was a watershed moment in hip-hop, the voters have gotten better about nominating and awarding quality with the passage of time. The past decade’s big winners have been Kanye West (who has won 11 of his 12 Grammys in rap categories) and Eminem (who has 9 of his own), and they’re the big nominees this year, although all of West’s nominations save one come from appearances on other artists’ records, and Eminem’s “Relapse” was of questionable quality, to say the least. Let’s take a look at the nominees, shall we? Anything to shut me up…

    Best Rap Song (awarded to the songwriter)

    Nominees: Best I Ever Had (5 songwriters, including Drake and Lil Wayne), Day ‘n Nite (2 songwriters, including Kid Cudi), Dead and Gone (3 songwriters, including T.I. and Justin Timberlake), D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune) (7 songwriters, including Jay-Z), Run This Town (5 songwriters, including Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West)
    Will Win: T.I. and Justin Timberlake
    Should Win: Tough choice

    Drake and Kid Cudi represent hip-hop’s new breed, and a win for either of them would represent a changing of the guard. Too bad that won’t be happening. Grammy has always been slow to recognize new talent, and the fact of the matter is that the older sector of voters recognize the names “Jay-Z” and “Kanye West” and not the names “Drake” and “Kid Cudi”. I’m tempted to say Jay-Z will win, but two things turn my vote in favor of T.I. One is the fact that Jigga is nominated twice and the two songs will likely split the vote, and the other is that the T.I. song has a socially redeeming message. Jay will win this award next year for “Empire State of Mind”, anyway. Hand this one to “Dead and Gone”, which, incidentally, is the best written song of the five and should win anyway.


    Best Rap Album

    Nominees: “Universal Mind Control” (Common),”Relapse” (Eminem), “R.O.O.T.S.” (Flo-Rida), “The Ecstatic” (Mos Def), “The Renaissance” (Q-Tip)

    Will Win: Eminem
    Should Win: Q-Tip

    The nominees in this category should serve as a reminder of how much crappy hip-hop music has been made in the past year or so. This award is Eminem’s to lose (“Relapse” got some critical love, Eminem is a Grammy favorite, and the album sold more than the other four albums put together), but let’s take a closer look at the nominees for a second. Flo-Rida’s nomination is a f*cking joke, Common made a completely embarrassing album that was the worst of his career, and, quite frankly, “Relapse” didn’t do Em any favors, either. Mos Def and Q-Tip, despite making the only two albums here worth a damn, aren’t commercially successful enough to triumph. While Mos’s “Ecstatic” was a nice bounceback after the artistically shaky (I’m being kind) “Tru3 Magic”, “The Renaissance” is clearly the best album of the 5 nominees from a qualitative standpoint.

    Oh, for those wondering where Jay and Kanye are: “808s and Heartbreak” was considered ineligible for the rap categories, and “The Blueprint 3” was released after the eligibility deadline and will most likely be nominated next year.


    Best Rap Solo Performance

    Nominees: “Best I Ever Had” (Drake), “Beautiful” (Eminem)”, “D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)” (Jay-Z), “Day ‘n Nite” (Kid Cudi), “Casa Bey” (Mos Def)

    Will Win: Jay-Z
    Should Win: You get no argument from me here.

    Here’s an interesting category with 5 relatively strong nominees. The same premise that held true for the Best Rap Song category holds true here regarding Drake and Cudi, despite the fact that “Best I Ever Had” and “Day ‘n Nite” were actually the two most popular songs here (Drake could potentially pull off an upset-this guy has a deafening industry buzz). Mighty Mos is uber-talented, but is out of his league  from a popularity standpoint. While Eminem has a chance, I think that at this point, Jay-Z has pulled in front of him in terms of Grammy recognizability, if only by virtue of his run as an actual record executive-people take care of their own. Besides, “D.O.A.” was the best of the five songs nominated here.


    Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group

    Nominees: “Too Many Rappers” (Beastie Boys and Nas), “Crack a Bottle” (Eminem, Dr. Dre and 50 Cent), “Money Goes, Honey Stay” (Fabolous featuring Jay-Z), “Make Her Say” (Kid Cudi, Kanye West and Common), “Amazing” (Kanye West and Young Jeezy)

    Will Win: “Crack a Bottle”
    Should Win: “Make Her Say”

    This is the most difficult of the categories to decide so far. If you put yourself in the head of the average Grammy voter, the only nominee you can definitely count out would be Fabolous-he doesn’t have enough name recognition, and the song he’s nominated for was an album track and not a single. The sympathy vote could go to the Beastie Boys, on account of MCA’s battle with cancer last year (and it would also give Nas his first ever Grammy), but seeing as a full recovery’s been made, I would bet against it (callous but true). The Grammy folks have been noticeably allergic to 50 Cent (who is Grammy-less so far in his career…and deservedly so, I might add), so even though “Crack a Bottle” was the biggest hit of the five nominees (hitting #1 on the Billboard singles chart), NARAS voters might pause when it comes to giving Curtis a trophy. Part of me still says the Aftermath trio will come out on top, but “Make Her Say” was just as big, has the intelligent/quirky/edgy factor going for it, samples one of the year’s biggest pop hits (“Poker Face”, which is nominated for Record and Song of the Year) and features previous Grammy winners Kanye and Common. Could go either way.

    Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
    Nominees: “Ego” (Beyonce featuring Kanye West), “Knock You Down” (Keri Hilson featuring Kanye West and Ne-Yo), “Run This Town” (Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West), “I’m on a Boat” (The Lonely Island featuring T-Pain), “Dead and Gone” (T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake)

    Will Win: “Run This Town”
    Should Win: “I’m on a Boat”

    Should “I’m on a Boat” even be in this category? Well, truth be told, Andy Samberg and his boy Akiva (is that a black name or what?) have better rhyme skills than half the rappers out there. I’d love to see this song come out on top for the pure comedy aspect. Hey, like Kevin Garnett, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!

    No, seriously. It won’t win. This award essentially comes down to two songs: “Dead and Gone” and “Run This Town”. While I gave “Dead and Gone” the edge in the songwriting category, I think “Run This Town” has the edge in the performance category. In this case, you have to consider the Rihanna factor. Her infamous assault at the hands of then-boyfriend Chris Brown took place before last year’s Grammy ceremony, and that fact alone could guilt a lot of voters into awarding a song that features her. The only roadblock? Kanye West, who is nominated in this category THREE times and could very well split the vote. In that case, T.I. wins, at which point Grammy will be saddled with a winner who can’t attend the ceremony (as T.I. is in a halfway house right now) and, if “Dead and Gone” wins in both the categories it’s nominated in, it will mean that of Justin Timberlake’s eight career Grammy wins, three of them will have been in the “rap” category. And that’s just weird.

  • 2009 American Music Awards Play By Play – West Coast Edition

    Since I’m on the West Coast, we’ll pretend this show is just starting.

    (By the way, Money Mike posted his own East Coast version up. It’s East Coast vs. West Coast all over again.)

    I remember as a kid when I used to count down the time until the AMAs were about to start. Now? Not so much. They don’t make award shows like they used to, but hopefully we’ll get some fun performances.

    I expect lots of Jay-Z love, lots of Michael Jackson love, lots of Taylor Swift love, and the opposite of lots of love for Kanye West.

    Like Arsenio used to say, “Let’s get busy!”

    Janet Jackson
    Janet Jackson
    – The show started with Janet already in mid-performance. She’s going through the old hits, though not wearing the old wardrobe. She’s wearing a brown outfit that makes her look like a baggy Pocahontas.

    – Who seated Mary J. Blige next to Carrie Underwood? I bet they could talk about old boyfriends.

    MJ: Girl, you think Tony Romo was bad? Man, I wanted to break K-Ci’s knee caps.
    CU: You dated KC from the Sunshine Band?
    MJ: Um, no. K-Ci from Jodeci. Forget it.

    – The only problem with Janet going through her old hits is that it just makes anything she’s done in the last 5 years look so bad in comparison.

    – Paula Abdul is the first presenter. No, she didn’t make any Ellen DeGeneres looks, acts, and sounds like a boy jokes, though you know she wanted to.

    – The Black Eyed Peas won the first award which was for favorite group in the pop/rock category. At least this time, Fergie’s face didn’t break the HD tuner on my TV like it did last week.

    (I DVRd Saturday Night Live last week and watched it after the fact. The picture was perfect until Fergie started to sing. The picture became pixelated and then was suddenly fixed when the performance was over. Coincidence? I think not.)

    – The only thing I can really say about Shakira’s performance is, “Oh my damn.”

    – Even though that long dress made her hips and legs look like a pair of parentheses ( ), Kelly Clarkson sung the hell out of We Were Never Meant To Say Goodbye.

    – Alex Rodriguez just introduced Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. I bet he and Timberland and Dr. Dre could talk PEDs for days.

    – Nope, not sick of Empire State Of Mind yet.

    – Kate Hudson is wearing a dress that shows off her 14-year old boyish chest. She could get away with going shirtless and I don’t think anyone would flip.

    – Oh man, I hope my TV can take it. The Black Eyed Peas are back on stage. Fergie Ferg ’bout to break my TV again.

    – Thankfully, my TV was fine. The performance was actually fine too. And she didn’t piss herself on stage, which is always a plus.

    – Your boy Michael Jackson won the award for favorite male artist in the Soul/R&B and you know who accepted it for him. If you answered greasy Jermaine, you were right. Also, you got to see his son Jermajesty, which was a treat in that of itself. I was almost sure that child didn’t really exist. But he did!

    – I know nothing about the Zack Brown band. But what I learned today is that some of those dudes have some manly beards.

    – Beyonce won an award and then it was announced that she wasn’t there. My heart rate has never been so up and down in a five second period ever in my life.

    – Hat makers thank Ne-Yo for keeping them in business.

    – Rihanna has the same haircut that David Silver rocked in the first season of Beverly Hills, 90210.

    – Carrie Underwood looks good and sounds good, but needs to stay off the salad. Yes, you can be too thin. She and Kate Hudson are trying to out-skinny each other.

    – Lady GaGa was carrying something in both of her back pockets, but she doesn’t have any pockets. Hmmm.

    – That Lady GaGa performance was just, um, it was just, um, hmm. If I tried to describe it, you wouldn’t understand and I’d just give myself nightmares. This is why YouTube was invented.

    – Not sure about you, but I can really do without these Perez Hilton audience shots.

    – Some country group called Gloriana just beat Lady GaGa for the Breakthrough Award. I think I saw GaGa walk off in a huff and fly away in her spaceship.

    – Ok, I think they edited this show for us on the West Coast. There’s supposed to be a part during J-Lo’s performance and she falls while performing. All I saw is that she jumped, all of a sudden it went into slow motion, and then jump cut city. Again, why YouTube was created.

    – You go Whitty. Do your thing. Somewhere, Bobby Brown gently weeps while shaving those lines into the side of his head.

    – I’m not sure Whitney did this on purpose or not, but she screamed, “I love YOU,” like Michael Jackson used to do it where you emphasize the “you”. I think that was a shout out to Mike.

    – Taylor just won award number two and she’s not even there. I think that if you don’t attend the show and you’re not in jail like TI, or you didn’t pass away before it was given out, you have to automatically give it to Kanye.

    – And just as I say that, MJ won for favorite male artist in Pop/Rock. Greasy is back on the scene to accept the award, but this time, sans Jermajesty.

    – Lady GaGa was breaking fake glass on her piano that was on fire. Alicia Keys just did her one better by playing her piano in mid air while it was spinning. Supposely GaGa saw that from her space ship and just went into hyper speed.

    – It’s pretty telling that Eminem decided to do his verse from Drake’s Forever since nearly everything on his album was garbage.

    – Timbo is now on stage and the back of his neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. But I’m not mad because he just let Nelly Furtado join him and she’s still looking foine.

    – There’s been a Toni Braxton sighting. Good to see her back and I hope she’s healthy. Jimmy Jackson and Jason Kidd just remembered why they hate each other.

    – My main man Ryan Seacrest is out to give out the Artist Of The Year.

    Let me run down the candidates quickly:

    Eminem – Relapse may be the worst album of the year.
    Michael Jackson – Dude sold more records dead than anyone alive is selling this year, except probably Taylor Swift. Also took all the buzz away from the Beatles re-releases.
    Kings Of Leon – My friend Christal had to show me their video the other day. I’d never seen it before. Enough said.
    Lady GaGa – She’s too far ahead of her time. Like by maybe 500 years.
    Taylor Swift – I don’t have a Taylor Swift song in my music library, but she was pretty fun on Saturday Night Live.

    And Taylor Swift beats MJ. Ok, maybe she wasn’t that fun on Saturday Night Live. And she talks like Drew Barrymore.

    – Adam Lambert is closing the show. However, I don’t think he’s closing it out Mariano Rivera style.

    – I wonder if I can get my hair as high as Adam’s. That might be a 2010 goal for me.

    – Wait, is Adam Lambert gay?


    Photo of Janet from Wikipedia and shared through creative commons

  • Rihanna Plays “Russian Roulette” On New Single

    There’s a lot of anticipation building for Rihanna’s new album, “Rated R”, which comes out on 11/23. This morning, the album’s first single, “Russian Roulette”, was premiered. It’s a mysterious sounding ballad that was written by Ne-Yo. Due to the media exposure Ri-Ri’s received (good and bad) over the past year, it’s sure to be a big hit…

    …I just don’t know if it’s a good first single, though. Rihanna’s pretty much made her name as someone who performs dance music, so leading off with a ballad is pretty risky. Also, the song doesn’t really go anywhere. Rihanna’s singing is impressive, but the song itself is…kinda boring (a rarity for Ne-Yo, who is the best young pop/R&B singer-songwriter out there). Her upcoming album boasts an interesting group of collaborators (from Justin Timberlake to Tyson Ritter of the All-American Rejects). I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if it gets better.

    If this gets taken down from Youtube, you can check the song out here.