Right now, I have no cable until tomorrow. So what I’m actually doing is searching through YouTube to find the entire show. Just kidding. I taped it at the house and I’m watching it on delay. Except, I have to go on MTVs website to find Britney’s performance. But my sister already text messaged me to say how horrible it was. I don’t have high hopes.
- Wait, she even had to lip sync her own laugh?
- It kind of looks like she’s even lip synching the wrong lyrics.
- Is Britney brave or dumb to come out in her underwear while in less than Britney in underwear shape?
- Even 50 Cent looked appalled at her performance.
- Rihanna was like, “Yesterday’s newspaper …”
- They decided to hold the VMAs in the same Palms hotel that the horrendous “Real World Las Vegas” reunion show was held. This isn’t looking good.
- When Sarah Silverman’s 15 minutes of fame is up sometime next year, who is going to make fun of her?
- That’s what Mark Ronson looks like?
- Hey Alicia Keys, there’s a piano over there. This hosting thing isn’t for everyone.
- Rihanna just beat out about 20 nominees for the Monster Single of the Year. How about cutting it down to the top 5 next year?
- Kanye can’t get much wronger rockin’ out in the Hef suite.
- Justin Timberlake wins the Quadruple Threat Award, which is for people who do more than just make music. Wait, what else does Justin do again? Oh yah, Jessica made me watch Alpha Dogs.
- Kanye and 50 Cent present Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration and simply give each other the stink eye. But Kanye gets the better of it because Beyonce (the winner with Shakira) gave him a kiss.
- By the way, this just in. Beyonce is hot.
- Adam Levine has a helluva voice. But dude should try something called eating. His arms are the size of pipe cleaners.
- This just in. Chris Brown can dance.
- Hmm, I wonder who he got his moves from?
- He just showed us with his ode to Billy Jean.
- Was that Kriss Kross rappin’ in Kanye’s suite? Oh, it was someone named Soulja Boy.
- Shia Labeouf has a sweet porn stache.
- Fergie wins Female Artist of the Year and Labeouf says Luda is going to accept the award for Fergie and Luda just laughs and leaves him hanging. Shia was sweatin’ a little.
- Meagan looks like a Fox, but not better than Beyonce.
- Alicia Keys just showed the rest of the singers how to leave it all on the stage.
- Jamie Foxx outdoes LL Cool J’s 1993 awards show performance (14 Shots To The Dome) and drops the date of his new movie about 6 times (Sept. 28th if you missed it).
- So that’s what Dr. Dre has been doing rather than working on Detox. The dude has been drinking his protein shakes. He looked like he had shoulder pads on underneath his sweater. Dre, you don’t need no more testosterone man.
- With blond hair, Nelly Furtado looks like the spawn of Jessica Simpson and a young Madonna.
- Ok, someone needs to give Timbo a piss test too. What’s up with these producers? Do you really need big arms and shoulders to play drum machines?
- Britney might’ve received the most buzz, (well, Britney was probably the most buzzed) but Chris Brown and Alicia Keys stole the show.