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Tag: Carrie Underwood

  • Vital Idol: Big Dave Archuleta And David Cook Toe The Line

    I loved the boxing analogies last night, as cheesy as they were, but there was some major influencing going on last night. Even though Simon Cowell said before that he thought David Cook was going to win, it seemed to this viewer that he was doing anything and everything to let the America know who he wanted to win. I’m usually fine with the influential judges. That’s the reason they are there. They don’t have a vote, so they try to influence the voters. But this year it was something else. Simon publicly humiliated Carly Smithson, which seemed to help viewers turn on her. And the triumvirate of Simon, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson were very negative on Syesha Mercado last week, even though she was like a breath of fresh air to a really boring show. Does David Cook even stand a chance tonight?

    Let’s get this show going.

    – For some reason, both David’s are wearing full white.

    – A Holly Robinson Peete sighting! She was the reason to watch Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper back in the day. Also, a Lori Loughlin sighting (the former Mrs. Uncle Jesse). She’s starring in the new Beverly Hills, 90210, simply called 90210. Those two join Rene Russo in the Ha Ha, We Never Age Hall Of Fame.

    – For some reason Mikayla Gordon and Matt Rogers are on my television. You mean LaToya London was booked?

    – The top 12 is back and my youngest shouted out, “Chikezie!” He missed him some Chikezie. Some guy just threw a $20 bill at David Hernandez.

    – Syesha Mercado is on the stage with Seal, who is wearing white pants with a white t-shirt. What’s up with the white theme tonight? Syesha is hot by the way, in case you didn’t know.

    – Jason Castro is back on my TV. The TV almost tried to change its own channel. He was there to perform Hallelujah, which was his only good performance of the season.

    – The six girls are performing Donna Summer’s songs and Amanda Overmyer should’ve just turned her mic off. Not that she has a terrible voice, but this isn’t her genre. Donna herself comes out and she and Syesha perform Last Dance. Why wasn’t Syesha in the finals instead of our two friends, milque and toast?

    – Carly Smithson and Michael Johns are on stage duetting. Why wasn’t this a Syesha and Carly final instead of our two friends milque and toast?

    – Jimmy Kimmel is back and immediately went with a Sanjaya joke, which was funny, but not as funny as seeing Sanjaya in the crowd so happy that his name was called.

    – Paula Abdul’s boobs are out of control tonight. Arsenio is sitting at home thinking, “I hit that 20 years ago.” Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

    – The top six are on stage performing and then Bryan Adams’s dad comes out for some reason with a guitar. Wait, that was Bryan Adams.

    – If anyone is wondering about the 8 years old and under demographic, both my kids predicted who would win tonight. Well, my older one did at least.

    – Brooke White is wearing her hair straight by the way. She’s also shoesless.

    – I must be old. Ryno introduced a band and all the young girls screamed, not allowing him to tell us who they were. They came on the stage and before I could say, “Why does Hanson have black hair?” I noticed one guy had a tambourine. I still don’t know who they are.

    – Ryno just called them the Jonas Brothers. I actually liked “Hanson With Black Hair”.

    – When Ryno said that OneRepublic was on stage, my first thought was, “Ohhh that’s what they look like.” My second thought was, “Where’s Timbo?” My third thought wasn’t, “I think David Archuleta should get on stage with them and sing.”

    – Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. (I wonder if anyone calls him RJ?) are in a lame skit with Gladys Knight (they’re supposed to be the Pips) that would’ve been good if it were 20 seconds. Instead, it was 20 minutes. At least it felt that way.

    – Carrie Underwood is singing Last Name. The virginal Tony Romo is sitting on his couch thinking, “If only I would’ve hit that 20 months ago.”

    – Uh oh, the top 12 is singing George Michael. You know what that means. Yep, Bryan Adam’s dad is coming out again. Just kidding.

    – I was hoping that Hugh Grant was going to come out and together, he and George would sing Pop! Goes My Heart, but it didn’t happen.

    – Simon is apologizing to David Cook for being so hard on him last night after watching the show back on television and then tells him that he doesn’t care who wins, and they’re both terrific. Way to save face Cowell, after all the votes are already in. David Cook deserved the apology, but at the end of last night’s show, not tonight’s.

    – Um, I take that back. Simon’s assholery didn’t factor in it at all.

    – And the winner is ….

    David Cook

    That’s all for now. I’ll be back in 10 months. I’m out like gout.

  • Chart Chat: 4/20/08

    Happy 4/20, ladies and gentlemen! (If I have to explain the significance of this date to you, then never mind). Here’s this week’s Top 20 singles and albums.
    Top 20 Albums:
    1) “Spirit” Leona Lewis
    2) “Troubadour” George Strait
    3) “Sunset Man” James Otto
    4) “Now That’s What I Call Music 27” Various Artists
    5) “Accelerate” R.E.M.
    6) “Alvin & The Chipmunks” Soundtrack
    7) “All I Feel” Ray J.
    8) “Trilla” Rick Ross
    9) “When Angels & Serpents Dance” P.O.D.
    10) “Welcome to the Dollhouse” Danity Kane
    11) “Midnight Fire: A Body & Soul Collection” Various Artists
    12) “Pretty. Odd.” Panic at the Disco
    13) “Taylor Swift” Taylor Swift
    14) ” Ghosts I-IV” Nine Inch Nails
    15) “Sleep Through the Static” Jack Johnson
    16) “Daughtry” Daughtry
    17) “Jordin Sparks” Jordin Sparks
    18) “Day26” Day26
    19) “Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings” Counting Crows
    20) “Consolers of the Lonely” The Raconteurs
    Top 20 Singles
    1) “”Bleeding Love” Leona Lewis
    2) “Lollipop” Li’l Wayne
    3) “No Air” Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown
    4) “Love in This Club” Usher
    5) “Touch My Body” Mariah Carey
    6) “Sexy Can I” Ray J.
    7) “4 Minutes” Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake
    8) “With You” Chris Brown
    9) “Love Song” Sara Bareilles
    10) “Low” Flo-Rida
    11) “See You Again” Miley Cyrus
    12) “Don’t Stop the Music” Rihanna
    13) “Stop & Stare” OneRepublic
    14) “Apologize” Timbaland feat. OneRepublic
    15) “No One” Alicia Keys
    16) “Superstar” Lupe Fiasco
    17) “Independent” Webbie
    18) “What About Now” Daughtry
    19) “Sorry” Buckcherry
    20) “Damaged” Danity Kane
    This week’s chart shows the sales bump provided by the “Idol Gives Back” special. Daughtry and Jordin Sparks both move back into the Top 20 on the albums chart, Sparks’ single reaches a new peak of #3, the fifth single from Daughtry’s 4X Platinum album debuts in the Top 20 (while the fourth single, “Feels Like Tonight”, sits at #24, and Carrie Underwood follows up last year’s version of The Pretenders’ Nineties hit “I’ll Stand by You” with a version of George Michael’s “Praying for Time”, which is new to the Top 100 at #27.
    Speaking of Sparks, her debut album surpasses Taylor Hicks in sales this week, meaning that she no longer has to worry about the dubious distinction of having the lowest-selling album by an “American Idol” winner in history.
    It almost pains me to say that the only artists who can boast a Top 10 single and a Top 10 album simultaneously this week are Leona Lewis (who’s vocally gifted but a complete cipher), and Ray J. (although I admit, “Sexy Can I” is kinda catchy!). In the process, Lewis becomes the first British female artist EVER to debut at #1 on the Billboard Albums chart. Take *that*, Winehouse!!
    I was just reading a “Vibe” article (one of many proclaiming Li’l Wayne as the best thing since color television) that mentioned the fact that Wayne had yet to live up to the hype by scoring a major pop hit. Welllll…with “Lollipop” making it to #2 (in a crowd of very successful singles) this week, I guess we can safely say that Weezy doesn’t have to worry about *that* anymore!
    Um…who’s James Otto??
    How the hell did one of those TV-advertised “Body & Soul” compilations (this one featuring Alicia Keys, R. Kelly, Mario and others) make it into the Top 20??
    Speaking of Mario, his third album “Go!” has been goosed slightly since he started appearing on “Dancing with the Stars”, but at only about 275K sold since it’s December release (and no major hit single), it’s got a long way to cover before it reaches the platinum-plus heights of his last album, “Turning Point”.
    Next week, Hurricane Mariah, who should leapfrog past the 500K mark with “E=MC2”, a number that will probably not only outsell the rest of the Top 10 combined, but will also immediately place her around #7 on the list of 2008’s Top 10 Albums (granted, it’s only April, but still…). It’s a long way from “Glitter”, eh?
    OK, the charts were boring this week, I promise something better next week.

  • 50th Grammy’s: No Coffee

    I’ve blogged this show for the past two years and made fun of it’s usual lengthiness, but am going to change my tune. The last few years caused me to drink copious amounts of coffee to get through the shows. I’m only drinking Diet Pepsi Max (and bobbing my head like LL and Busta) and Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla style.

    Let’s just get this out of the way. Kanye is going to be the sentimental favorite tonight. With his mom’s recent surprise passing, I can’t imagine him not performing Hey Mama tonight and just making the tears run down everyone’s faces.

    • The show opens with Alicia Keys singing a duet with Frank Sinatra. And dude is in black and white.
    • Alicia’s dress is way too tight and reminds me of the dress that Donna Martin wore to the Spring dance that made her look like a mermaid. Her breasts must be suffocating.
    • Carrie Underwood is a really pretty girl, but isn’t the kind of girl who should ever wear hot pants of any kind. She has a bad case of noassatall.
    • Alicia Keys just won the Best Female R&B Vocal Performance and accepted the award from Prince. Her heels must’ve been higher because dude would’ve had to jump to kiss her.
    • Morris Day and The Time just came out, but only to act as the intro act to Rihanna. Prince was not in sight, but Rihanna still gave him props by wearing her hair the same way as him.
    • Fantasia was in the crowd and she’s rockin’ a blond bald spot.
    • Amy Winehouse won for Best New Artist so they aren’t screwing her just yet for being a nut job.
    • Say what you want about Kanye, but the dude is an entertainer. And he did Hey Mama justice and his mother proud tonight.

     

    • There are some people who actually look great in HD, but poor Fergie Ferg isn’t one of them. She should have it in her contract that they can’t do close-ups on her.
    • First the Oscars did it to Dreamgirls and now the Grammy’s. They gave the Compilation Soundtrack award to Beatles Live. I think I would’ve been ok with Hugh Grant winning for Pop! Goes My Heart, but not to some guys in tight trousers dancing to Beatles songs.
    • Beyonce came out in nothing more than a dress with bikini bottoms and she let the thighs loose. Let’s just say that if Jay-Z ever fell asleep on her lap, he may never wake up.
    • Tina Turner came out and sang with Beyonce and save for one moment where she kicked out her knee and I thought she dislocated her knee cap, that old woman can still get it done.
    • Even though Amy Winehouse won the song writer’s award for Best Song, what is more interesting is that I learned that Jay-Z gets a writing credit for Umbrella, all because he was in a verse at the beginning of the song that no one remembers. Dude didn’t even write, “Ella ella aye aye”.
    • Just as I aimed my buddy Mike that if Nas or Kanye West didn’t win, we riot, Kanye West won for Best Rap Album.
    • The Grammy’s tried to play the wrap-up music on Kanye, but he made it stop. That was classic.
    • I thought the only people who knew who Feist was, were the folks who watched VH-1 early in the morning.
    • Alicia Keys and Johnny Mayer work well together. And thankfully, Mayer cut off the Edward Scissorhands hairdo.
    • In introducing Amy Winehouse (who is live via satellite as she couldn’t get her visa in time), Cuba Gooding said, “Ya know what I’m sayin?” I didn’t know the dude had it in him.
    • Either Winehouse is trying to make us think she’s messed up, or she’s really messed up. Which also begs the question, “How can someone sing so well while messed up?”
    • After winning Record Of The Year for Rehab she shouted out her “Blake incarcerated”. Yep, she said it.
    • Why is will.i.am on my TV singing and rapping a collection of past Grammy’s hits? The crowd didn’t know what to do when he was done.
    • Usher and Kanye West would’ve tied if there was an award for Best Sunglasses.
    • In the biggest upset in the last week, Herbie Hancock beat out both Kanye West and Amy Winehouse for Album Of The Year. It was an Eli Manning-esque comeback. Then, when reaching for his thank you cards, they slipped out and fell, only he didn’t know and kept reaching into his pocket. At least Eli didn’t drop the trophy.

    The rumored Michael Jackson tie-in for the re-release of Thriller never happened. That made me sad. But at least I didn’t have to drink coffee.