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  • 2007 Video Music Awards (VMAs) Random Thoughts

    Right now, I have no cable until tomorrow. So what I’m actually doing is searching through YouTube to find the entire show. Just kidding. I taped it at the house and I’m watching it on delay. Except, I have to go on MTVs website to find Britney’s performance. But my sister already text messaged me to say how horrible it was. I don’t have high hopes.

    • Wait, she even had to lip sync her own laugh?
    • It kind of looks like she’s even lip synching the wrong lyrics.
    • Is Britney brave or dumb to come out in her underwear while in less than Britney in underwear shape?
    • Even 50 Cent looked appalled at her performance.
    • Rihanna was like, “Yesterday’s newspaper …”
    • They decided to hold the VMAs in the same Palms hotel that the horrendous “Real World Las Vegas” reunion show was held. This isn’t looking good.
    • When Sarah Silverman’s 15 minutes of fame is up sometime next year, who is going to make fun of her?
    • That’s what Mark Ronson looks like?
    • Hey Alicia Keys, there’s a piano over there. This hosting thing isn’t for everyone.
    • Rihanna just beat out about 20 nominees for the Monster Single of the Year. How about cutting it down to the top 5 next year?
    • Kanye can’t get much wronger rockin’ out in the Hef suite.
    • Justin Timberlake wins the Quadruple Threat Award, which is for people who do more than just make music. Wait, what else does Justin do again? Oh yah, Jessica made me watch Alpha Dogs.
    • Kanye and 50 Cent present Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration and simply give each other the stink eye. But Kanye gets the better of it because Beyonce (the winner with Shakira) gave him a kiss.
    • By the way, this just in. Beyonce is hot.
    • Adam Levine has a helluva voice. But dude should try something called eating. His arms are the size of pipe cleaners.
    • This just in. Chris Brown can dance.
    • Hmm, I wonder who he got his moves from?
    • He just showed us with his ode to Billy Jean.
    • Was that Kriss Kross rappin’ in Kanye’s suite? Oh, it was someone named Soulja Boy.
    • Shia Labeouf has a sweet porn stache.
    • Fergie wins Female Artist of the Year and Labeouf says Luda is going to accept the award for Fergie and Luda just laughs and leaves him hanging. Shia was sweatin’ a little.
    • Meagan looks like a Fox, but not better than Beyonce.
    • Alicia Keys just showed the rest of the singers how to leave it all on the stage.
    • Jamie Foxx outdoes LL Cool J’s 1993 awards show performance (14 Shots To The Dome) and drops the date of his new movie about 6 times (Sept. 28th if you missed it).
    • So that’s what Dr. Dre has been doing rather than working on Detox. The dude has been drinking his protein shakes. He looked like he had shoulder pads on underneath his sweater. Dre, you don’t need no more testosterone man.
    • With blond hair, Nelly Furtado looks like the spawn of Jessica Simpson and a young Madonna.
    • Ok, someone needs to give Timbo a piss test too. What’s up with these producers? Do you really need big arms and shoulders to play drum machines?
    • Britney might’ve received the most buzz, (well, Britney was probably the most buzzed) but Chris Brown and Alicia Keys stole the show.

  • Friday Throwback – If It Isn’t Love

    It’s amazing to me how many people don’t know their New Edition history. It hurts my feelings. Ya, people know Bobby Brown because of Whitney. But what about everyone else? As a group, they were one of the best R&B groups of all time. And maybe even more importantly, they were able to make the transition from teenage group to adult group. They were able to grow with the times as seen by Heart Break, their adult careers (which seemed to have sputtered out for all of the members), and the comeback album, Home Again. Here’s one of my favorite NE videos.

    • Are those ballet slippers on Ralph?
    • Who is the dude that talks to them at the beginning?
    • And who is that random Asian girl that turns on the music?
    • I think I saw the New Kids steal these same moves.
    • Johnny Gill has the same haircut as Prince Akeem from Coming To America.
    • What was the reason for shirtless Ralph dunking his head in the water?
    • Do Mike and Ron even need to be in the video? Everyone knows they didn’t sing backup on this song.
    • Love her? What?
    • Ok, were they trying to recreate the Fun Bunch high five?

    I’m all for NE recording until the day they die. They can still sing (well at least Ralph, JG, and Ricky Bell can) and I bet you they’ll be able to throw down on the dance floor for at least another 10 years.

  • They Tried To Make Her Go To Rehab, But She…No, That’s Too Easy

    Amy Winehouse? What the HELL is wrong with you? You’re an amazingly talented singer and songwriter. Granted, creative people are supposed to have demons, but (and I’ve seen this far too often) your demons are threatening to consume you and eat you alive! You obviously have a drug problem, and from recent comments you’ve made, you’re dealing with some serious self-esteem issues as well, refusing to go to rehab unless your husband goes with you, making comments to the effect of “I’m not worthy of anything…I was put here to take care of my man”. This is frustrating because, unlike Britney and Lindsay and all those other girls who are flushing their careers (and possibly their lives) down the toilet, you have TALENT!!! With the cancellation of show dates (including the MTV VMAs), you’ve got me wondering if you’ll even be around to collect the Best New Artist Grammy you are almost ensured of winning next year!
    Check out the excellent video for “Tears Dry On Their Own” here: