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  • Single Life: Special Beyonce Edition: Single Ladies and If I Were a Boy

    For her upcoming third solo album, the lovely Beyonce Knowles has decided to grace us with two singles at once. “If I Were a Boy” and “Single Ladies” are the two opening tracks from her new, as yet untitled album, which is scheduled to hit stores in mid-November. The videos premiere later today, but until then, I’m sure you’re wondering what the songs sound like (if you haven’t heard them already). You can check them out for yourself on Beyonce’s website.

    “If I Were a Boy” is something of a departure for Beyonce. Before actually hearing the song, I was a little concerned that the theme and the song would rip off Ciara’s recent hit “Like a Boy”. While the two songs are thematically similar, Beyonce’s song is more mature from a lyrical and musical standpoint (it should go without saying that Beyonce is a much better singer than Ciara ever will be). I would have loved to hear Beyonce go for the full-on rock treatment and use live drums here, but the song’s still pretty impressive. On the other hand, “Single Ladies” starts off in the same let’s-go-to-the-club vibe as previous Beyonce/ singles like “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” and “Get Me Bodied”. As such, it’s significantly less enjoyable than “If I Were a Boy”. It’s not a bad song per se-again, the beauty of someone as vocally talented as Beyonce is that anything she records is going to at the very least be interesting. However, it’s certainly a letdown after “If I Were a Boy”. Let’s hope that her upcoming album contains more material like “If I Were a Boy” and less material like “Single Ladies”.

  • FORTY-FIVE REVOLUTIONS PER MINUTE #7: Gary Gilmore Girls

    SISTER DOUBLE HAPPINESS  “Don’t Worry” b/w “Wheels A’ Spinning” (Sub Pop Records SP77, October 1990)

    “Hey Loser.  Wanna find some action?  Tired of being left out?  Here at SUB POP we’ve just started a special club for lonely record collectors like yourself:  THE SUB POP SINGLES CLUB.  Every month we’ll send you a limited edition 45.  All you have to do is SEND US YOUR MONEY.  $35.00 for a full year, $20.00 for 6 months.  Your subscription begins the month we receive your $$$.”

    Yes, I was a Sub Pop loser.  I mean, c’mon…it was inevitable, right?  Make an offer like that to a vinyl fetishist working in a little indie store at the height of the grunge boom…fucking BLAMMO, you are going to get your sales on, Seattleites!  At what amounts to roughly $2.92 per single (or $3.33 if you go for the 6-month sub), and with at least 2 tracks per platter, we’re talkin’ ’round $1.46 per track.  Consider that nowadays people are paying 99 cents apiece for these shitty, pathetic, tinny-sounding little downloads with no artwork or sweet colored vinyl to look at.  PFFT!  I’ll take my Singles Club & go home, thanks.  Wish it was still around, I’d still be a member, dammit.

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  • Infatueighties: #79: The Show

    For someone who considers themselves a serious hip-hop fan, there’s surprisingly little hip-hop on this Top 100 list. I think there’s maybe 8 rap songs on this list (now when I decide to do the Nineties list, that might be a different story). That said, the songs that did make it to this list are stone cold classics, and Doug E. Fresh and MC Ricky D.’s The Show certainly qualifies.

    For a song with essentially no chorus, there are tons of hooks here. The scratched “oh my God”s, the dinky keyboard (allegedly played by a very young Teddy Riley of Guy and BLACKstreet fame) playing the “Inspector Gadget” theme, “six minutes, Doug E. Fresh, you’re on”. The kids who turned this song into a classic didn’t seem to mind the lack of a hook. I can clearly remember sitting on the school bus in Southfield, Michigan, reciting this song word for word with 25 other kids. I betcha the kids today can’t do that with a Lil’ Wayne song! (said in crochety old man voice)

    While Slick Rick’s turned into a hip-hop legend (and was far more influential as an emcee than a lot of folks are willing to give him credit for), Doug E. Fresh has sort of turned into a hip-hop journeyman. He’s never released an album worthy of his talents, although a Greatest Hits album is looooooong overdue. He’s probably better known these days for his appearances on every VH-1 pop culture special known to man, as well as for being hip-hop’s only Scientologist (trying hard not to make a face here). Questionable religious practices aside, we’ll always have “The Show”, right?