If there’s any silver lining in Chris Brown’s chart failure, it’s that Rihanna’s latest album isn’t exactly burning up the charts either.
As a matter of fact, “Rated R” currently sits at #28 on the national charts. It’s sold a respectable 300,000 copies so far, and will certainly attain Gold status, but when you consider her last album spun off seven hit singles and sold 2 million copies, it’s easy to see that “Rated R” is underperforming a little bit.
The scent and taste of flop sweat becomes even more palpable when you realize that this album has been out for three weeks and it is already on it’s third video. “Hard” has obviously been selected as the attention-getter. Lyrically and musically, it’s in-your-face and aggressive…and not very good. It’s very slight from a lyrical standpoint, and aside from the label connection, there’s really no reason to use Young Jeezy on this record (except for maybe a little extra “street credibility”?). The video itself is a bit of a clusterfuck. Rihanna has definitely jumped a little too hard on the oversexed train. Electrical tape over her nipples? Probably a bit overboard. Although I had to laugh when a commenter on MTV’s site accused Ri-Ri of biting Lady Gaga’s style. Apparently, this commenter has never heard of Grace Jones.
At this point, though, I’m kind of tired of both Chris Brown and Rihanna. Granted, I was never a big fan of Chris’s music anyway, so the fact that he’s slowly sinking into oblivion doesn’t bother me too much. However, Rihanna has over time at least revealed herself as being able to put her own stamp on some irresistible pop singles. The desperation she’s been piling on lately is a huge turn-off, though.
NBC wanted a singing reality show too so the network dusted off Nick Lachey and decided to reinvent doo-wop and scatting by creating an a capella competition. This pale imitation of American Idol has a couple of good things going for it and some things positively cringe-worthy. You’re excused if you missed the flurry of three shows in 3 nights from the same network that brings you prime-time Jay Leno five nights a week. That’s actually one of the good things. Someone give me a backbeat and let’s talk about Sing-Off.
Great Stuff About Sing-Out
1. No reality show back stories. You sing, you mug a little for the camera, you get some judging criticism and you’re off the stage.
2. The lightning fast eliminations. The show started with 8 groups and began cutting mid-show immediately. That’s a fun concept. I love watching judges cut acts in mid-show.
3. Sing-Off is getting tons of song clearances with the winners promises a Sony/Epic contract. Mind you, no one said anything about promoting that record, but you get a studio, and probably a producer too.
4. A couple of the performances have been fun to watch. A capella isn’t for everyone. I don’t know if it’s for me, but that’s where the show’s lightning pace helps.
5. Watching Shawn Stockman from Boyz II Men in the Simon Cowell role is a treat. Think some amateur a capella singer is going to argue with Stockman? And on last night’s show he rocked a bow tie and argyle sweater that still made him look like the coolest guy in the house.
Not So Great Stuff About Sing-Off
1. Ben Folds is my man. I love Ben Folds. I have everything — the rarities, the imports, the whole catalog. He has 100% musical credibility in my eyes. C’mon, he covered Snoop as a tender ballad! Unfortunately, he’s Randy Jackson on Sing-Off. I don’t know whether that makes me like Folds less or Jackson more. It’s just weird.
2. There are times that the show is trapped in a Glee casting session. Watching the SoCals do Journey last night was actually pretty darn good until they went straight into Don’t Stop Believin’. Between the Glee kids, the final episode of The Sopranos and now this, I don’t want to hear this song for another five years. Amazingly well-crafted song. Really good album. Stop playing the song, and Lord, please stop covering the 30 year old track.
3. The Beelzebubs are a hoot to watch. They did campy stuff in the Straight No Chaser vein until last night when they did a Who medley (catch it below) that has 3 songs I would pay to download.
Things I Hate About Sing-Off
1. Nicole Sherzinger, the Paula judge, makes Paula Abdul sound like a Rhodes Scholar lecturing on music theory. Like Paula, Nicole can sing, had a string of hits off an album (although Abdul had bigger hits over a longer period of time), but this is one boring judge. By the time she offered her opinion a third time, we were yelling at her through the television to shut up. Alas, she did not. Money Mike promised us Pussycat Dolls were no more, but I forgot to check if Nicole would continue talking. Perhaps that’s a New Year’s resolution.
2. No one expects Nick Lachey to be Seacrest or Dick Clark. Maybe next time we roll out Wayne Brady or someone who actually, you know, doesn’t sound like a young John Tesh.
Bonus Thing I Loved: Simon and Randy (I mean, Shawn Stockman and Ben Folds) arguing over a cover of Man in the Mirror. Stockman ripped into the group, told them they were technically sound and missed the emotion of the song, which he happily sang to them. Folds defended them, told them not to be afraid of the original, and Stockman leaped over the table and beat Folds with a chair calling him a “sissy cracker who makes fun of black people in songs”. Actually, I made that last up. What Stockman did was interrupt Folds and chastise the kids again. He made his point by Slapping. The. Desk. With. Each. Word. Got it? Good. Although I have a Franklin down on Stockman if he and Folds decide to throw hands in the finale.
The finals are Sunday on NBC. I do love that lightning fast get-em-outta-here aspect. Meanwhile, enjoy The Who as sung by a bunch of a capella geeks. I’m guessing Pete is smiling because it’s pretty darn good.
Folks continue to run out in droves to buy Susan Boyle. The British singer’s “I Dreamed a Dream” spends a third week on top of the Billboard Album charts, moving 582,000 copies of her debut effort. In three weeks, “Dream” has sold a mind-boggling 1.8 million records. It is currently the fourth biggest selling album of 2009 and has a chance to catch Taylor Swift for the #1 crown with 2 weeks left.
As has been custom these past couple weeks, Italian singer Andrea Bocelli holds down the #2 spot with “My Christmas”. 400,000 copies slide across store shelves this week, giving Bocelli a grand total of 1.5 million sold in just six weeks.
The week’s top debut? The second volume of songs from the hit television show “Glee”. A collection of remade popular favorites from the likes of Kelly Clarkson, this soundtrack moved 173,000 copies to land at the #3 spot overall and also dislodges Michael Jackson’s “This is It” from the #1 spot on the Soundtrack charts after a six week run.
Other folks who put albums out last week are probably not as in the mood to celebrate as the “Glee” cast. Last week’s most high-profile debut was Chris Brown’s “Graffiti”. The album manages to come in at #7 with 107,000 copies sold. Not a bad amount, and it is the week’s biggest selling R&B album, but it’s also 1/3 of what his previous album, “Exclusive” sold in it’s first week. It’s also just a little more than half of what Rihanna’s latest album sold in its’ first week. Brown doesn’t sport this week’s only disappointing debut. Snoop Dogg bows all the way down at #23 with his latest, “Malice N Wonderland”, and Timbaland’s “Shock Value II” slides in at a lowly #36. The albums sell 59,000 and 39,000 copies respectively. All I can say to those numbers is “Yowsa!!”
One of this season’s surprise strong sellers comes from Canadian teenager Justin Bieber, who probably has swiped a large chunk of Brown’s audience. The Usher protege’s debut EP “My World” hangs in at #8. It’s scanned just under 400,000 copies in four weeks of release. Couple a teen-friendly artist with an agreeable price, and chances are, you’ll have a hit. Just ask Miley Cyrus, whose “Time of Our Lives” EP sits down at #20 and becomes the 20th album this year to cross the million sales mark.
Next week’s big chart news will be the debut of the new Alicia Keys album. With the Boyle and Bocelli juggernauts at full speed and without a big radio single, I’d say the chances of Keys scoring a #1 debut are kinda slim. Will she score her fifth consecutive chart topper? Stay tuned and catch us next week with another Chart Chat column.
This week’s Top 20 albums:
1) Susan Boyle “I Dreamed a Dream”
2) Andrea Bocelli “My Christmas”
3) Glee Cast “Glee-The Music Vol. 2”
4) Taylor Swift “Fearless”
5) Carrie Underwood “Play On”
6) Lady GaGa “The Fame”
7) Chris Brown “Graffiti”
8) Justin Bieber “My World (EP)”
9) Michael Buble “Crazy Love”
10) Gucci Mane “The State vs. Radric Davis”
11) Glee Cast “Glee-The Music Vol. 1”
12) Michael Jackson “This is It”
13) Various Artists “Now 32”
14) Lady GaGa “The Fame: Monster (EP)”
15) Norah Jones “The Fall”
16) Josh Groban “Noel”
17) Jimmy Buffett “Buffett Hotel”
18) Soundtrack “Twilight: New Moon”
19) 30 Seconds to Mars “This is War”
20) Miley Cyrus “Time of Our Lives (EP)”