I got laughed at for liking Gym Class Heroes at a function last night, so out of spite I’m listing them first. GCH snared me in a very simple way-by sampling two cheese classics-Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America” and Jermaine Stewart’s “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”-for their first two hit singles (“Cupid’s Chokehold” & “Clothes Off!!”. Actually, it’s partially because of GCH that I got into Fall Out Boy, who signed GCH to their label, and whose lead singer, Patrick Stump, sings the chorus on each of the two singles. While I’m not really feeling the first single “Cookie Jar”, and lead singer Travis McCoy lost major cool points by dating Katy Perry, I’m anticipating hearing the rest of this album, which features guest appearances by Brit soul singer Estelle, Busta Rhymes, and my man Daryl Hall.
Bars and clubs all across the country promote their 80’s nights every weekend. As a fan of 80’s music, you would think I would want to hit the 80’s nights and enjoy the sounds. You thought wrong! Because the dim-witted DJ’s refuse to play anything out of the ordinary because the paying customers don’t want to think outside the box. We’ve all been reading Mike Heyliger’s outstanding Infatueightes countdown to know there are more than just the same 40 danceable tunes that came out of the 80’s. Isn’t it the DJ’s job to inspire with new sounds and different beats?
Don’t they get tired of spinning “Come On Eileen” and “Pour Some Sugar On Me” on a constant basis? I get frustrated when I hear the opening notes to the same tunes, so much I want to find a stick and repeatedly hit the DJ over and over and over again for having no sense of originality. It pains me when I request a song from Dokken, and they don’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m not saying the DJ even has to play obscure songs that you read about in my Out There! column. Mix it up! I envy these guys and girls, don’t they realize they have the best job in the world?
Here are some examples of songs we hear all of the time that need to be removed from the weekly playlist immediately, or else we still continue to dumb down the musical educations of future generations!
Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard
Now look, I’m a huge Leppard fan, maybe one of the biggest Def Leppard fans on the planet. Pour Some Sugar was one of my favorite songs until I’ve heard it replay thousands of times over the years at dance clubs and bars. Does the DJ realize there are other fast-beat songs/hit songs on the same album (Hysteria)? Why not think outside the box and play Animal? That will get people singing along. “An I Want, An I Need, An I Love, Animal! C’mon, I just got that stuck in your head. You telling me if you were drunk and you heard this anthem, you wouldn’t start shaking about. Can’t we give some loving to some other pop metal bands like Ratt and Poison as well. And I don’t mean hearing “Nothing But A Good Time” which is another bar staple.
Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
Do the 21 year olds understand that this song has overstayed it’s welcome? It’s a fun song to dance to with a group of friends, this I understand. But aren’t there a whole slew of songs from the 80’s just like this from corporate rock giants such as REO Speedwagon and Journey? Wouldn’t “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” be a song to huddle up with your buddies and belt out the worlds. “Some day love will find you,break those chains that bind you..” You know the rest. Guitars and keyboards just like the Bon Jovi classic, c’mon DJ, put that record on.
Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners
You know when the opening of this song comes on, people are getting ready to throw up their legs and pretend they are a Rocktette. Do aye do aye do aye do aye YAY! Ugggh! Can’t we maybe replace with a fun 80’s tune from a similar band like Men At Work or Madness? How about “House of Fun”, it could work and get people lifting their legs in the air? You know, I haven’t heard “Who Can It Be Now” at a bar in a few years, this might just work also.
I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston
Another R&B 80’s staple that is sometimes played more than once in the night. Is it supposed to automatically remind the girls that there are tons of meat int the bar and they need to dance with some of them? How about “The Neutron Dance” by the Pointer Sisters? I’ve always defended this song as a classic dance hit that hasn’t aged one bit. I never understood why I have never heard this song ever at a club. It has a great beat, is totally familiar to the naked ear, and heck, the DJ can even work up some new steps and create a new dance sensation to compete to the Electric and Cha Cha Cha slides.
Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield
The DJ always has to include the 80’s pop rock tune. Another great tune, but does it need to be played every time? There are other pop/rock songs just as good. How about something from J. Geils Band? “Love Stinks” or “Freeze Frame”?
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
You know it’s not a true 80’s night without this staple. Doesn’t the DJ realize there are plenty of syntho-pop songs that would work so “Tainted Love” can be played every fifth night instead of every night. How about some lesser-known gems like “Space Age Love Song” from A Flock Of Seagulls or “Love Plus One” from Haircut 100? A lot of bands experimented with synthesizers in the 80’s, is “Tainted Love” the only one that still works? I think not.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
I know, I know, it’s the popular tune for all the girls out there. But if Girls want to have so much fun, how about kicking off the shoes to “Girls” by Dwight Twilley (if you don’t know this one, you will in a future Out There! column) or “Valley Girl” by Frank Zappa?
And the list goes on and on. The clueless DJ’s need to do their homework. Watch old MTV clips on youtube, do some research on Wikipedia, sample songs on iTunes, read this blog!! Play some more Rick Astley! Play some more Human League! Play some more A Flock Of Seagulls! Play some Romeo Void or Yaz! Play some more lesser known hair-metal bands. Play something else off of AC/DC’s Back In Black besides “You Shook Me All Night Long”! Hell play more Michael Jackson and Madonna, just play different songs you don’t hear on a constant basis! Because the next time I hear “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey even if it’s remixed with a dance beat, I’m gonna drop my pants and pee all over the DJ’s equipment!
Oh how I miss the Culture Club! Although come to think of it, they could have used some lessons as well!!
It’s been said a million times, but out of the whole influx of teenage girl singers that arrived on the scene, Christina Aguilera was obviously the one blessed with the talent. Her albums haven’t always been easy listens, but there have been some great spots within them. Her work with DJ Premier on 2006’s “Back to Basics” was excellent,and it seemed that those great pipes would work fantastically with hip-hop production.
Maybe I should cut her some slack because of the whole new mommy thing, but I was a little distressed by what I saw on the VMAs from her last night. Not only did her outfit look like it belonged on the set of Janet Jackson’s lame-ass “Feedback” video, but the song she performed sounded like a Britney castoff with better (OK, much better) vocals…which weren’t live, by the way. I decided to check out the studio version of the song (which will be on Xtina’s upcoming Greatest Hits album…apparently only available at Target and Target.com…way to piss retail off Christina), and…well, it’s not as bad as I thought it was the first time. It’s a bouncy, electro-influenced tune, way different from anything she’s released prior, and fits right in with what’s going on at radio these days. Maybe the not-explosive sales of “Back to Basics” (about 1.6 mil, which is not too shabby) scared Christina and her people enough that they played it safe this time around? Either way, if we’re going to get “commercial and radio friendly”, at least the girl can sing, right?
I love the chorus…”sometimes I’m a super bitch!!”…at least she gets it, right?
