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  • Horrible covers of famous songs

    It’s Friday and I’ve had a very annoying week. It started with me struggling to fend off the latest virus and continued with freezing weather, technical difficulties, and lots of griping from the peanut gallery. Since it’s Friday and I’m in need of a good laugh, I figure today’s blog post should be about something relatively amusing. And to me, horrible cover versions of famous songs can be very funny. There have been a lot of them over the years. I don’t know what possesses some singers to take on songs that are inappropriate for their singing style. I would expect that during a karaoke show, but not so much by established musicians trying to make a living.

    “American Pie”

    The first song that immediately comes to mind is “American Pie”, which was written and made famous by Don McLean. It’s a song about the 1959 plane crash that killed Ritchie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper (Jiles Perry Richardson). Some people consider this song to be a masterpiece. Apparently, a lot of rock stars admire it, too; for it’s been covered by several. Madonna tried to sing it in 2000 and some people supposedly liked it.

    Madonna’s “American Pie”

    I don’t really care too much for Madge’s take on Don McLean’s classic song. But at least it’s not as bad as the one done by the Brady Bunch Kids.

    The Brady Kids do “American Pie”.

    I think this version pretty much hacks “American Pie” into a lot of little messy pieces. They could have used a little more vocal augmentation or something. It’s dreadful. Maybe I should cut them a little slack, though. The Brady kids were, after all, actors. I’m sure 1970s era recording techniques were primitive compared to what we have today.

    “Day Tripper” and “Eight Days A Week”

    The next song that comes to mind is one originally done by The Beatles. The Beatles are pretty much revered as a band that helped shape rock and roll into what it is today. John, Paul, George, and Ringo will forever be immortalized as rock gods; they wrote and performed some amazing songs. What rock star in their right mind wouldn’t want to emulate them? Even James Taylor, who is one of my FAVORITE performers of all time, took a stab at it with this unfortunate cover of “Day Tripper”.

    James Taylor’s “Day Tripper”

    Okay, so I can give James a little break for the fact that this particular version of “Day Tripper” was released in 1979, near the height of the disco craze. And I will even admit that there was a time when I actually enjoyed this version. Indeed, even today, it’s sort of a guilty pleasure. It’s got a certain little spunk to it and James Taylor could sing the phone book and I would probably enjoy it. But disco and JT… maybe not the best choice for optimal listening. I like it better when James Taylor sings his own songs.

    James Taylor is not the only one to try singing Beatles songs, though. Back in 1989, country singer Lorrie Morgan also gave it the old college try with her version of “Eight Days A Week”.

    Lorrie Morgan’s take on “Eight Days A Week”.

    This particular countrified version of “Eight Days A Week” is bouncy enough, with fiddles and even a lead guitar solo by Vince Gill. But I think it really pales against the original.

    “Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird”

     

    This cover is like a souvenir of all the nightmares I lived in the late 1980s…

    Will To Power sing their mashed up medley of songs by Peter Frampton and Lynyrd Skynyrd.

    In 1988, a band called “Will To Power” covered two monster rock songs, turning them into an insipid, bloodless, ghastly medley unimaginatively called “Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird”. This brings back unwelcome memories of high school. Please, make it stop!
     

    “Ring of Fire”

    Johnny Cash was no stranger to singing cover songs. In 2003, just months before he died, Cash sang Trent Reznor’s “Hurt” and did a fine job with it. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Olivia Newton-John’s rendition of Cash’s famous hit “Ring Of Fire”, which was written by June Carter and Merle Kilgore.

    Olivia Newton-John’s try at “Ring of Fire”

    The only reason I know about this version of “Ring of Fire” is because my dad was a big Olivia Newton-John fan in the 1970s and he had Olivia’s 1977 album Making A Good Thing Better on 8-track. I was five years old at the time and thought Olivia was pretty. Now that I’m a lot older, I can’t quite reconcile the high stepping prancing quality of Olivia’s cover of “Ring of Fire” to Johnny Cash’s big hit.

    “Have You Never Been Mellow”

    Olivia Newton-John got her just desserts for trashing “Ring of Fire” when Party Animals covered her hit song, “Have You Never Been Mellow”.

    “Have You Never Been Mellow” techno style

    Actually, I’ve heard quite a few techno versions of this song, none of which were particularly good.

    “Stairway to Heaven”

    “Stairway to Heaven” could probably be crowned Led Zeppelin’s masterpiece. If it’s not their best known song, it’s definitely one of their best loved rock anthems. And it’s so good, it’s even been covered by… Dolly Parton?

    Dolly Parton’s rendition of “Stairway to Heaven”

    Fair disclosure here. I actually like what Dolly did with this song; she even added some original lyrics and a little bluegrass styled jam at the end. However, as a Led Zeppelin fan, I also recognize that a lot of people probably think this cover is horrible. I don’t think it’s near as horrible as it could have been. At least Dolly didn’t turn it into disco.

    “Jolene”

    Since Dolly Parton is also quite the songwriter, her songs have also been butchered by other singers.  Her song “Jolene” has been redone more times than I can count.  I’ve heard it been turned into everything from bluegrass to techno.  In 1976, Olivia Newton-John gave it her best shot…

    “Jolene” by Olivia Newton-John

    This is a live performance, slightly faster than the recorded version. Olivia has vocal chops, but this version has strings (or synthesized strings on this live version) and Olivia introduces it with a fake southern accent. At the end, she looks like she’s in the throes of an orgasm as she shrieks about that hussy, Jolene. It makes me miss Dolly Parton something fierce.

    “Candle In The Wind”

    I love Kate Bush’s music.  I love her idiosyncratic voice, her expressive piano playing, and her exquisite lyrics.  But I don’t love what she did to Elton John’s epic hit, “Candle In The Wind”.

    Kate Bush sings “Candle In The Wind”… please someone blow it out!

    Granted, there is something kind of haunting about Kate’s vocals on this track, but I still miss Elton John’s appreciative vocals.  I don’t think she quite captured his admiration for Marilyn Monroe’s star power.  Kate Bush sounds very sterile to me, which kind of negates the whole tribute aspect of this song.

    I could probably go on writing about horrible cover songs all day, but it looks like it’s fixing to snow and that would just cap off my week.  So I leave you with one last horrible cover…

    “Paradise City”

    Pat Boone must have got quite the hair up his ass back in 1997, when he released an entire album full of of heavy metal cover songs.  He had brass balls to cover a Guns N’ Roses song, especially “Paradise City”.

    Pat Boone tries “Paradise City”.

    I’m not sure if he meant this to be taken seriously or not. Actually, I think a jazzy version of “Paradise City” doesn’t suck as much as it could. Maybe if Michael Buble had tried this, it would have worked better. I wonder if Axl Rose has heard what Pat Boone did with the song he made famous. If he has, I’m sure there were many spicy sentence enhancers used to describe it.

    Have a nice weekend, y’all!
     

  • My top five musical discoveries of 2012

     

    Fellow Pop Rock Nation blogger Brian has put forth a proposal for me to write a favorites of 2012 post. And I would be happy to do that, except I have a tendency to listen to older music that isn’t exactly cutting edge. I did buy some albums that came out in 2012, though; and in 2012, I did newly discover some folks who have been around awhile. So, in the interest of taking Brian up on his challenge, I’m going to write about my top five favorite musical discoveries in 2012, listed in no particular order.

    Todd Snider

    I first discovered alt-country singer songwriter Todd Snider  several years ago while watching YouTube.  I was living in Germany at the time and filled up some of my duller days by watching funny videos.  Someone had posted a hilarious stick figure cartoon set to Snider’s song, “Beer Run”.  As a beer lover with a warped sense of humor who remembers college all too well, this quirky song really hit home for me.

    Todd Snider’s “Beer Run”

    So when I found out that Snider had a new album coming out in 2012, I decided to purchase it. 2012’s Agnostic Hymns and Stoner Fables was actually just one of several albums I purchased by Todd Snider in 2012, who has a very unique storytelling style that I could best describe as an edgy mixture of Tom Petty and Tom Waits. Todd’s songs are mostly original and full of colorful characters. I love a good story related in a song, especially when it’s paired up with witty lyrics and compelling melodies.

    While I liked Agnostic Hymns and Stoner Fables well enough, I actually played his 2003 live album Todd Snider Live: Near Truths and Hotel Rooms more often. Todd Snider is just one of those artists who is great live, even if it’s just on a live recording. Having purchased Todd Snider’s music early in 2012, I figure he definitely belongs on my list of top five musical discoveries of 2012.

    Iris Dement

    I should probably be ashamed of myself for not knowing about Iris Dement until 2012. It was a brisk October day and I was on an Amazon music buying spree. Amazon suggestive sold me Iris Dement’s 2012 album, Sing the Delta, which was released on October 2. It turns out Iris Dement has been around for ages and is even associated with some of my favorite artists, like Emmylou Harris and John Prine. Somehow, I still missed out on her beautiful vocals, which are so unusual and lovely, and her expressive piano playing. I was pretty proud to welcome her to my music collection in 2012.


    Iris Dement sings “Mama Was Always Tellin’ Her Truth” live

    Mark Knopfler

    Okay, so I’ve been familiar with Mark Knopfler’s music for years now.  I grew up in the 1970s and 80s, so I am very well acquainted with his work as Dire Straits’ front man.  A few years ago, when my husband and I were living in Germany, we took a weekend trip to Barcelona, Spain, where we were introduced to one of his solo albums as it played over and over again at the outdoor cafe where we were enjoying gourmet pizza and wine.  After that trip to Barcelona, I started listening to Mark’s music a lot more often.

    In 2012, Mark Knopfler released the double album Privateering.  At the time this album was released, in September of 2012, Knopfler was having a conflict with his US record label which prevented Privateering from being sold in the United States.  I ended up purchasing a Canadian version of the album.  Like most of Knopfler’s albums, Privateering is thematic, with songs about working class characters living a rough and tumble lifestyle.  On Privateering, Knopfler incorporates Celtic, blues, rockabilly, and rock and roll into a very appealing package of twenty mostly original songs. Privateering is another welcome addition to my music collection in 2012.


    Mark Knopfler performing “Privateering” live.

    Van Morrison

    Van Morrison is another artist that I’ve been listening to for years.  In October 2012, he released his album Born to Sing: No Plan B, his first album since 2008’s Keep It Simple.  As Van Morrison often does, he’s chosen a theme for this album.  Most of the songs are about the evils of greed and materialism and each of them features a heaping helping of Van Morrison’s trademark style and spunk.  Of all the songs on Born to Sing: No Plan B, my favorite is “Close Enough To Jazz”, a bewitching track that reminds me of Van Morrison’s classic hit, “Moondance”.  This song has a nice long jazzy intro before Van Morrison joins in.  The rest of the album sails along with Van’s excellent six piece band and Van’s own work on the piano, alto saxophone, and guitar.


    Van Morrison performs “Born To Sing” live in Belfast.

    Kasey Chambers

    Australian singer Kasey Chambers was the result of another suggestive selling effort by Amazon.com.  As I was purchasing a bunch of music, I ran across her 2012 album Storybook, a collection of fifteen country and rockabilly styled  cover songs that have inspired her.  Kasey Chambers has an unusual soprano voice, an excellent band, and a great collection of songs.  I’m still getting into this album in early 2013, but it’s quickly growing on me.  I’m happy to discover Kasey Chambers and welcome her into my top five musical discoveries from 2012.


    Kasey Chambers covers “Luka”, a song made famous in the 1980s by Suzanne Vega.

    So there you have it, five albums from 2012 that are among my favorite musical discoveries from last year!

     

  • Tris McCall Critics’ Poll, 2012 – Brian Block’s Ballot

    Every year, New Jersey based songwriter / music journalist/ novelist Tris McCall conducts his Critics’ Poll, a set of questions as basic as “best albums”/ “best singles”, as refined as “best guitarist” and “best album cover”, and as snarky as “song that would drive you craziest on infinite repeat” and “hoary old bastard who should spare us all and retire”. Tris encourages explanations and rants. This year, Pop Rock Nation’s Brian Block is publishing his ballot, free for comment and carping. (His Best Albums vote is in progress…)

    Single of the Year:

    1. Aesop RockZZZ Top
    2. Decomposure Readymade
    3. Profusion – Chuta Chani
    4. Ani DiFrancoWhich Side are You On?
    5. Of MontrealSpiteful Intervention
    6. Passion PitTake a Walk
    7. Dar WilliamsI am the One Who Will Remember Everything
    8. Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra – Want It Back
    9. KillersRunaways
    10. Birdeatsbaby – Incitatus

    Honorable mentions:

    BBU – Outlaw Culture
    Death Grips I’ve Seen Footage
    dEUS – Ghosts
    Dirty ProjectorsOffspring are Blank
    Emilie AutumnFight Like a Girl
    Fiona Apple – Every Single Night
    First Aid Kit the Lion’s Roar
    HospitalityFriends of Friends
    Kate Miller-Heidke – Ride This Feeling
    Lana Del ReyBorn to Die
    Magnetic Fields – Andrew in Drag
    Mars Volta the Malkin Jewel
    Mike KeneallyI’m Raining Here, Inside
    Mountain GoatsAmy a.k.a. Spent Gladiator 1
    Regina SpektorAll the Rowboats
    Squonk OperaShimmy and Shake
    Taylor SwiftWe are Never Ever Getting Back Together
    THEESatisfactionQueens

    You, Tris, find it part of your (pleasurable) duty, as a citizen and journalist and fan, to engage with popular music. My pleasurable duty in these roles is more about engaging with unpopular music. Far more people listen to popular music; but far more people *make* unpopular music. So I think my approach ought to be, in its own way, just as representative.

    Best singer:

    Fiona Apple. That merger of bluesy conviction and accurate diction (“You made your major overtures When you were a sure and orotund mutt And I was still a dewey petal Rather than a moribund slut”? Yes, I can make out the words) ain’t normal.

    Best rapper:

    Collectively, BBU have a good case. Don’t know if I’d vouch for Perez, Milam, or Wallace quite that highly as individuals.

    Best guitarist:

    Last time Mike Keneally (Zappa’s old stun-guitarist) made a pop album, I noted here – more for my sake than yours – that “Mike Keneally” is automatically and always the correct answer to this question. This year he’s got a new record, Wing Beat Fantastic, co-written with Andy Partridge – makes plenty of sense in Keneally’s own discography but as much or more sense as the first new XTC album in 12 years. It’s excellent; buy it. Anyway, Keneally downplays the guitar’s role almost completely, in favor of elaborate vocal arrangements and some keyboards, except on two songs. It would be ridiculous to choose him based on two songs. My answer is Mike Keneally.

    Best piano/organ player:

    Mishkin Fitzgerald (Birdeatsbaby). mishkin_fitzgerald She also wins “best name” and “best red hair dye”, which are valid reasons for picking her over Jackie Dempsey (Squonk Opera).

    Best synth player:

    Greg Scalera (Agony Family)

    Best bassist:

    Tony Gedrich (Extra Life)

    Best drummer:

    Nick Podgurski (Extra Life). Also: best drummer who isn’t allowed to play half the time because his band has a thing about “dynamics” when it should have a thing about “letting their drummer whomp stuff”: Patrick Hughes (Lost Lander). Best drummer who’s allowed to dominate the proceedings: Charley Drayton (Fiona Apple). Best drummer who may or may not be abnormally good, but whose drum parts are mixed loud and sure sound fantastic: Brandon Young (Delta Spirit).

    Best backing vox:

    The many layers of Caleb Mueller (Decomposure)

    Best production:

    Verlaines – Untimely Meditations, with production by singer/guitarist Graeme Downes.  Regularly, throughout the album, you’ll have five different instruments playing five different things while Downes is singing – and you can pick out and focus on any darned one of them. The busiest great pop album I’ve ever heard.

    Best lyricist:

    For peak value, that’s easy: ZZZ TopCrows 1, and Gopher Guts, by Ian Bavitz (Aesop Rock) are image-dense but coherent and brilliant , operating on a level no one else is working at. Some of the most powerful songs about pride and putting on an identity; about reacting to the death of a too-young friend; and about relationship failure, self-disgust, and symbolic benedictions ever written.

    For a full album … it could still be Bavitz. It depends, since I don’t have the spare time or concentration to track down every allusion when he *doesn’t* give many clues, how much credit he should get for the existence of RapGenius.com: I mean, Leisureforce is a powerful song too, but for me its power is basically the hard-won donation of two dozen amateur sleuths at home, sharing and building on each other’s thoughts online. I’d rather vote for Chris Hannah (Propagandhi), whose fierce politics are always that of a relatable and uncertain and daily-life-living human being who can’t quite hide his goofy streak, and whose poetic skills are used only in the direct service of saying what he’s trying to say.

    Best songwriter:

    Amanda Palmer

    Best live show:

    Amanda Palmer and her Grand Theft Orchestra, at the Cat’s Cradle. Partly because she’s a goddam rock star. Partly because I’ve never seen a rock star work so hard to make sure that by show’s end, you knew all her bandmates and roadie and photographer by name and thought *they* were rock stars. Partly because she had a couple of excellent audience participation gimmicks. Partly because she and her band’s 3-hour set included fourteen songs from a record they’d released three days prior, and never came close to losing the audience. And sure, it would’ve been nice if her town-by-town rented clarinetist and flautist (I think?) were paid in money along with drinks and company; I’m a unionist, I get it. But those two guest musicians never looked anything other than thrilled to be there; and I, in their place, would have felt the same.

    Best album cover:

    Debo Band. debo_band It looks like Vassily Kandinsky gone into map-making, with the legend explaining the circles and curved lines elsewhere, beyond our sight, so as not to impinge our imagination.

    Best album title:

    Yours Truly, Cellophane Nose, by Beth Jeans Houghton and the Hooves of Destiny. I’m not sure what the title or the band name are meant to indicate, but that’s okay: it’s a fair warning about the lyrics, which are intriguing too.

    Most welcome surprise:

    In 2010, my most welcome surprise was a top-10 list (and beyond) filled with artists I’d never heard before; the surprise was that I was still, at my age, so capable of new thrills. In 2012, my most welcome surprise is a top-10 list (and beyond) crammed with artists I’d already known and loved – including quite a few of my 2010 discoveries – still working at peak form.

    Bill James’s Law of Competitive Balance applies as strongly to music as to baseball, I think; while there isn’t a predictable age at which songwriters decline, they also aren’t able to call up a Mike Trout when Albert Pujols starts to fade, and any time an album includes several spectacularly good songs, it’s far more likely to be a fluke of timing than a real established level of ability. My 2012 was full of artists refusing to return from the extreme end of the bell curve. And as great as it is to be open to new discoveries, it’s also great not to depend on them.

    Biggest disappointment:

    I’m afraid I thought Boots Riley (the Coup) and Max Bemis (Say Anything) descended into sloganeering this year, and I didn’t like the resulting records. I realize Bemis is in love; I realize you can interpret his swinging back and forth between extremes of sappiness and adolescent apocalyptic angst as the strength of his determination to defend his woman. Me, I see it as Hallmark cards plus years of tantrums, clogging his brain until he can’t remember how to write.

    Worst song:

    My 4-year-old wrote it; hang on, I wrote it down somewhere. “Cats in the creeper universe/ Cats in the creeper universe/ There’s 20 cats in the creeper universe/ That’s 109 cats./ On the bottom of the creeper universe, there’s 10 more cats/ There’s 10 more cats hanging on the sides/ And that is the end of the song“. It’s a tuneless mess (although my cover version is melodic). I like it quite a bit.

    Song that kept getting stuck in head:

    Amanda PalmerWant It Back. A virtually perfect ’80s-pop pastiche — and if you think there’s even a hint of insult in “pastiche”, you don’t know me yet.

    Artist I don’t know but should:

    Frank Ocean‘s singles haven’t grabbed me yet, and I haven’t explored him further. But I should; I owe him for his vocals on No Church in the Wild.

    Song that would drive me craziest on repeat:

    Killer MikeJo-Jo’s Chillin’. It’s a good song, but the ice-cold narrative objectivity would char my soul pretty soon.

    Most overrated song/artist:

    Grimes and Beach House are vaguely pleasant in small doses, but I really don’t get the fuss. Same, to the fourth or fifth power of incomprehension, with “Call Me Maybe”.

    Song/artist you feel cheapest about liking:

    The entire Bad Lip Reading video collection. Apparently the only thing that keeps my tastes from being as pop-centric as yours is that I can’t ignore terrible lyrics, and therefore need them to be made surreal.

    Most overplayed:

    Call Me Maybe.

    Hoary old artist who should spare us all and retire:

    Bruce Springsteen, good lyrics or no. We Take Care of Our Own is the most tuneless, listlessly repetitive song I’ve heard since…. oh dear. I can’t find a good analogy. And my sinking feeling is that this is only because I’ve forgotten most of Springsteen’s other recent singles.

    Artist you respect but don’t like:

    Almost any critically acclaimed metal artist these days. I *like* heavy metal, but I go for less depresso atmosphere, less ability to sustain 11-minute compositions, more tunes, faster flurries of drums, and shorter attention spans than the critics do. So I’m probably missing out on stuff I’d love because they won’t tell me.

    Album with most-botched production:

    Nothing too bad. I wish Lost in the Trees’s art-pop album had been more dynamic and less sedate.

    Well, hold on. There’s also the fact that I accidentally bought the “clean” version of Killer Mike‘s new album R.A.P. Music. The whole concept of a clean version of it is bizarre …

    killer_mike_rapSwears are edited out. So are drug references, including the phrase “War on Drugs” and accusations that cocaine was a bad thing used to destroy neighborhoods. The clean version blanks out both of the rhymes about police terrorizing “Mostly black boys, but they would call us ‘nigger’/ And lay us on our bellies, with their fingers on the trigger” — although Mr. Michael Render’s point is, pretty clearly, that it’s a little late to protect listeners from “nigger” and “trigger” as concept. Also deleted is the word “gun”, but not (for example) “glock” or a dozen other gun-type references.

    Most of the story JoJo’s Chillin’, about a babydaddy who flees the state to avoid criminal charges (and his family), bribes a guard, sadistically attacks several people including a woman he has consensual sex with first, and gets away with it, is left intact, cusses aside, but not the part where he and the woman do a line of cocaine. Rather less of Reagan, an eloquent and with-specifics attack on the former president, is left for a listener to hear. But we do get to hear “I’m glad Reagan dead. Ronald Wilson Reagan … 666”. Satan is okay with censors!

    Artist who will still be good in 2023:

    I hate to jinx things, but: Amanda Palmer‘s got ten great years under her belt, so why not ten more?

    Additional comments:

    Most inconsistent album: Amanda Palmer – Theatre is Evil. Hard album to rank. It’s more than CD length: ten fast songs, ten slow songs. Personally, I burned from that a 56-minute CD of ten fast/ two slow songs (those two, “the Bed Song” and “Grown Man Cry”, are brilliant and heartbreaking). That 12-song CD would be my #1 for the year. Whether that’s a fair rank after I deduct the time I spent attempting to like the other eight wandering, underwritten, lugubrious (in my opinion) tracks is another question.

    Berklee College of Music in Boston had a great year for me. The Debo Band, 11 current and former Berklee students, made my favorite album of African-styled pop music ever. Meanwhile I discovered Paranoise and its replacement Mawwal, two outstanding World Music (centered in Pakistan-style) bands led by long-ago Berklee grad Jim Matus. Some people might suggest my favorite World Music albums should be made by people elsewhere in, like, the world. These people are terrorists.

    – Brian Block