For the past day and a half or so, I’ve tried to figure out how to discuss this while a) not being boring and b) not being completely obnoxious.
Personally, I don’t care if a star is gay or not. It really doesn’t make aifference to anything or anyone. Will your enjoyment of Luther Vandross’s music suffer because of the fact that he was (by most accounts) gay?
I also don’t like the fact that there often seems to be a witchhunt to out celebrities. We don’t own them. They’re allowed to have private lives, and who they sleep with is none of our business. People like Village Voice columnist Michael Musto, who delights in grade-school innuendo and borderline name-calling, strike me as bitter queens who either spent their childhood being bullied for being gay and/or are spending their adulthood being bullied for being gay and want to pull someone else into their misery.
Truth is, none of us really knows if Clay Aiken is gay. He’s never said as much, simple as that. We all might have an opinion (and I’ll admit that my gaydar goes off whenever I see him), but there are straight dudes who act like sissies the same way there are gay dudes who don’t have stereotypically “gay” mannerisms.
The fact that Clay (by artificial insemination, apparently) impregnated the 50-year old sister of music producer David Foster (who’s 30+ year career has seen him work with everyone from Earth, Wind & Fire to Whitney Houston to Josh Groban) is…a little strange, and it rings ever-so-slightly of a publicity stunt. However, I (like plenty of other people) am a cynic. If Clay wants a kid and this is the means he chose to have it, then God bless him. If it is indeed a publicity stunt, then boo on Clay and his handlers for bringing an actual live human being into this mess (although what would having a baby by artificial insemination do for his career, considering it would just seem to compound the gay rumors…). It doesn’t matter to me, because I have no interest in Clay Aiken’s music and probably never will (unless he gets hip and walks away from trying to be the 21st century Peter Cetera).
What happened to the days when the music mattered and people didn’t really care what musicians did in their personal lives?
MTV.com is keeping me updated on the R. Kelly trial. Anyone remember Sparkle? She is most remembered for a song with R. Kelly called Be Careful and according to her Wikipedia page did the most of the background vocals for Aaliyah’s Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number.
Sparkle testified that the person in the tape with R. Kelly is her niece and as a result of the tape, her family isn’t as tight as it once was.
According to the MTV article, Kelly’s defense lawyer Ed Genson was trying to paint Sparkle as a former employee of Kelly’s who was bitter and wanted to get him back for firing her. She claimed she left so she could work with other producers and thought she was still cool with Kelly.
She also said that she regretted bringing her niece around Kelly and at the time, didn’t notice anything inappropriate between them.
I loved the boxing analogies last night, as cheesy as they were, but there was some major influencing going on last night. Even though Simon Cowell said before that he thought David Cook was going to win, it seemed to this viewer that he was doing anything and everything to let the America know who he wanted to win. I’m usually fine with the influential judges. That’s the reason they are there. They don’t have a vote, so they try to influence the voters. But this year it was something else. Simon publicly humiliated Carly Smithson, which seemed to help viewers turn on her. And the triumvirate of Simon, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson were very negative on Syesha Mercado last week, even though she was like a breath of fresh air to a really boring show. Does David Cook even stand a chance tonight?
Let’s get this show going.
– For some reason, both David’s are wearing full white.
– A Holly Robinson Peete sighting! She was the reason to watch Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper back in the day. Also, a Lori Loughlin sighting (the former Mrs. Uncle Jesse). She’s starring in the new Beverly Hills, 90210, simply called 90210. Those two join Rene Russo in the Ha Ha, We Never Age Hall Of Fame.
– For some reason Mikayla Gordon and Matt Rogers are on my television. You mean LaToya London was booked?
– The top 12 is back and my youngest shouted out, “Chikezie!” He missed him some Chikezie. Some guy just threw a $20 bill at David Hernandez.
– Syesha Mercado is on the stage with Seal, who is wearing white pants with a white t-shirt. What’s up with the white theme tonight? Syesha is hot by the way, in case you didn’t know.
– Jason Castro is back on my TV. The TV almost tried to change its own channel. He was there to perform Hallelujah, which was his only good performance of the season.
– The six girls are performing Donna Summer’s songs and Amanda Overmyer should’ve just turned her mic off. Not that she has a terrible voice, but this isn’t her genre. Donna herself comes out and she and Syesha perform Last Dance. Why wasn’t Syesha in the finals instead of our two friends, milque and toast?
– Carly Smithson and Michael Johns are on stage duetting. Why wasn’t this a Syesha and Carly final instead of our two friends milque and toast?
– Jimmy Kimmel is back and immediately went with a Sanjaya joke, which was funny, but not as funny as seeing Sanjaya in the crowd so happy that his name was called.
– Paula Abdul’s boobs are out of control tonight. Arsenio is sitting at home thinking, “I hit that 20 years ago.” Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
– The top six are on stage performing and then Bryan Adams’s dad comes out for some reason with a guitar. Wait, that was Bryan Adams.
– If anyone is wondering about the 8 years old and under demographic, both my kids predicted who would win tonight. Well, my older one did at least.
– Brooke White is wearing her hair straight by the way. She’s also shoesless.
– I must be old. Ryno introduced a band and all the young girls screamed, not allowing him to tell us who they were. They came on the stage and before I could say, “Why does Hanson have black hair?” I noticed one guy had a tambourine. I still don’t know who they are.
– Ryno just called them the Jonas Brothers. I actually liked “Hanson With Black Hair”.
– When Ryno said that OneRepublic was on stage, my first thought was, “Ohhh that’s what they look like.” My second thought was, “Where’s Timbo?” My third thought wasn’t, “I think David Archuleta should get on stage with them and sing.”
– Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. (I wonder if anyone calls him RJ?) are in a lame skit with Gladys Knight (they’re supposed to be the Pips) that would’ve been good if it were 20 seconds. Instead, it was 20 minutes. At least it felt that way.
– Carrie Underwood is singing Last Name. The virginal Tony Romo is sitting on his couch thinking, “If only I would’ve hit that 20 months ago.”
– Uh oh, the top 12 is singing George Michael. You know what that means. Yep, Bryan Adam’s dad is coming out again. Just kidding.
– I was hoping that Hugh Grant was going to come out and together, he and George would sing Pop! Goes My Heart, but it didn’t happen.
– Simon is apologizing to David Cook for being so hard on him last night after watching the show back on television and then tells him that he doesn’t care who wins, and they’re both terrific. Way to save face Cowell, after all the votes are already in. David Cook deserved the apology, but at the end of last night’s show, not tonight’s.
– Um, I take that back. Simon’s assholery didn’t factor in it at all.
– And the winner is ….
David Cook
That’s all for now. I’ll be back in 10 months. I’m out like gout.
