Last night, Mike, our own writer and editor of this great site said that Andrew Lloyd Webber looked like he could be Austin Powers’ dad. Once he said that, I knew that it was going to be a fun night. Maybe not necessarily for the music because half of the Idol contestants butchered the songs, but more so for the awkwardness of the show and how uncomfortable everyone seemed. Andrew Lloyd Webber? Really? You want Jason Castro to sing this stuff? Only Syesha Mercado truly seemed comfortable and in her element, though David Cook did a good job too.
Brooke White stopped and restarted the song because she forgot the lyrics. That’s how bad last night was. It would seem that it’s her turn to go home, but I know better than to think it’s a done deal.
The group opens up with a little ditty from Andy Lloyd Webber called All I Ask Of You. Do you think anyone has ever called him Andy in his entire life?
Ryno then interviews Lloyd Webber who says that Brooke is very talented and was flawless in rehearsal. I make all my jump shots in practice too. He also says that Jason Castro didn’t listen to him at all. I’m not sure Jason Castro’s attention span allows him to listen to anyone.
President Bush and his wife (the Bushes?) talked about Idol Gives Back and George thanked America for their compassion. He looked like he was reading from queue cards. But he didn’t look great like this man reading from queue cards.
Let’s get to the elimination.
– Ryno brings out both Davids and tells them they are both safe. This means that out of the remaining four, (Carly, Jason, Brooke, and Syesha) three of them are not.
– There has been a Clay Aiken sighting. I repeat. A Clay Aiken sighting. He kind of looks like the love child of Mrs. Garrett from Diff’rent Strokes and Edward Scissorhands.
– Leona Lewis is singing Bleeding Love and my girl Jessica just said, “Is her shirt all bloody from her bleeding heart?”
– She’s been compared to Mariah Carey and I think she copied Mariah’s dance moves as well. She’s doing pretty good impersonating the mic stand. That’s the same dance that Mariah did last week.
– Syesha and Brooke White are up next. Brooke is safe which means that Syesha, Jason, and Carly are in the bottom three. Syesha’s afro just puffed out three inches further after Ryno read the card. Actually, they aren’t doing a final three, just a final two.
– Ryno brings out Carly and Jason Castro’s Dread Locks and Jason is safe. America is wacky tonight.
– Both girls who aren’t safe have to sing again, and after watching each performance, if Syesha goes home, you’ve got your first American Idol travesty of the year.
– Tonight, Big Rube Studdard is going to celebrate Carly Smithson home.
– Was it the tattoos? Was it her off one week on one week performances? Was it the fact that she talked about her problems with diarrhea on the air? Her lack of consistency as well as her lack of consistency? I think it’s probably a little bit of all of those, but the fact is, Jason Castro and Brooke White are just more likable to the majority of that fan base.
– Seacrest out! Wait, did he say Neil Diamond is on next week? Um, can we have Andrew Lloyd Webber again?