I’ll admit that I’m not much of a TV watcher anymore. Once sitcoms started to suck in the mid Nineties (and I went five or six years without an actual television set), my couch potato days were over. As of right now, my television watching usually consists of sports (or “Sportscenter”), “Law & Order” reruns, “Scrubs” and “30 Rock”. And VH-1 Classic and VH-1 Soul, pretty much the last things anyone over 30 has in terms of music television.
I was sort of mindlessly watching VH-1 Soul one night two or three weeks ago, when the video I’m about to unveil popped onto the screen. I was talking to a friend on instant messenger as this was playing, and I couldn’t help expressing my distaste (disgust?) to him (his response: “Why does he have two last names?”). There are so many things wrong with this video, from McKnight’s 1980 MJ-meets 1991 Boyz II Men look to the cameo by faded rap star Greg Nice (of Nice & Smooth fame). For a while, I thought this had to be a joke, because no one could have bankrolled or shot this with a straight face. Right? RIGHT?????
Ahoy, mateys. There’s actually some stuff to talk about on the charts this week. Let’s move on, shall we? All chart positions are the exclusive property of Billboard Communications or somethin’. Ya smell me?
Top 20 Albums
1) “Breakout” Miley Cyrus
2) “Love on the Inside” Sugarland
3) “Mamma Mia Soundtrack” Various Artists
4) “Rock & Roll Jesus” Kid Rock
5) “Tha Carter III” Li’l Wayne
6) “Viva La Vida or Death & All His Friends” Coldplay
7) “Camp Rock Soundtrack” Various Artists
8) “Untitled” Nas
9) “Now That’s What I Call Music Vol. 28” Various Artists
10) “Beautiful Eyes” (EP) Taylor Swift
11) “Good Girl Gone Bad” Rihanna
12) “Taylor Swift” Taylor Swift
13) “The Slip” Nine Inch Nails
14) “One of the Boys” Katy Perry
15) “Jonas Brothers” Jonas Brothers
16) “Life, Death, Love & Freedom” John Mellencamp
17) “Indestructible” Disturbed
18) “Here I Stand” Usher
19) “Spirit” Leona Lewis
20) “The Greatest Story Ever Told” David Banner
Top 20 Singles
1) “I Kissed a Girl” Katy Perry
2) “Take a Bow” Rihanna
3) “Forever” Chris Brown
4) “Disturbia” Rihanna
5) “Viva La Vida” Coldplay
6) “A Milli” Li’l Wayne
7) “Lollipop” Li’l Wayne feat. Static Major
8) “Dangerous” Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon
9) “Bleeding Love” Leona Lewis
10) “Leavin’” Jesse McCartney
11) “Burnin’ Up” Jonas Brothers
12) “When I Grow Up” Pussycat Dolls
13) “Pocketful of Sunshine” Natasha Bedingfield
14) “Closer” Ne-Yo
15) “Shake It” Metro Station
16) “American Boy” Estelle feat. Kanye West
17) “Bust it Baby Pt. 2” Plies feat. Ne-Yo
18) “7 Things” Miley Cyrus
19) “Get Like Me” David Banner feat. Chris Brown
20) “Lolli Lolli (Pop That Body)” Three 6 Mafia feat. Project Pat, Young D and Superpower
*It’s been mentioned in a couple of other columns, including on billboard.com itself, but this week’s chart marks a rare occurrence. With new singles from Jennifer Hudson, Meryl Streep and Jamie Foxx (as a featured artist) debuting on the Hot 100 Singles chart this week, three Oscar winners enter the chart simultaneously, which must be some kind of first. Somewhere, Russell Crowe is kicking himself for not touring more behind 30 Foot Odd of Grunts or whatever they were called.
*Rihanna has two singles in the top five, at #2 and #4. Chris Brown is sitting between the two songs at #3. I’ll let you write the joke/somewhat pervy leery comments yourselves.
*Despite the fact that it’s been out since early spring, Estelle’s bouncy “American Boy” has only just reached the Top 20 on the singles chart. Her “Shine” album is pretty good if you haven’t checked it out yet, sort of a junior varsity version of “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”.
*Also moving up the charts (where it just might land in the Top 20 next week) is the year-old “Paper Planes” by Sri Lankan (and supposedly retired?) rapper M.I.A. Thank Judd Apatow and the trailer for “Pineapple Express” for giving this song (from one of the best reviewed albums of 2007) some belated shine. It jumps to #36 this week.
*Nas’s “Nigg…”, er, “Untitled” does a belly-flop in his second week, sliding all the way down to #8 from the top spot. Might be time to go back to simply making music without all the publicity stunts, yes, Nas?
*”I Kissed a Girl” is now the year’s second longest running #1 single, behind Flo-Rida’s equally insipid “Low”. Can someone please explain this to me?
*Want proof that people still watch MTV? The rapper Shwayze, star of the network’s new series “Buzzin”, has two songs on this week’s singles chart. “Corona and Lime” (yay, product placement) debuts at #26 while what I can only assume is the theme song to his TV show (which features Cisco Adler…yikes!) moves up to #45.
*This week’s “Catch a Falling Star” award goes to a band whose star hasn’t even fully risen: The Hold Steady. Despite tons of glowing press, their new “Stay Positive” record tumbles from 30-75 in week two. Hard to say whether this is an extreme case of buyer’s indifference or whether traditional retailers are pissed because this album was made available digitally several weeks before its traditional release in record stores.
*Finally, we close this week’s column by welcoming back former grunge favorites Candlebox, whose new album debuts at #32, marking a return to the charts after a 10-year absence. Might as well jump in the wayback machine and give you the video for “Far Behind”, especially considering it was the only one of the two Candlebox songs I’ve ever heard that I liked. I had this on cassingle, y’all. Top that!
The second single from the New Kids on the Block’s upcoming album, “The Block” is called “Single” and features none other than Ne-Yo sharing lead vocals. I’d imagine he wrote the song too. Either way, women young and old are going to eat this one up. Just listen to the lyrics.
While “Summertime” was a moderate hit, giving the Kids their first Top 40 action in 16 years, this song sounds a little more in tune with what’s going on at radio these days. Ummm…not bad, I must say. Actually, this is better than a lot of the stuff that was on Ne-Yo’s decidedly so-so “Because of You” album.
