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  • SonicClash Handicaps the 2009 Grammy Awards V: In Rainbows

    jobros

    These are for all the marbles, boys and girls. Grammy’s four major categories are the ones every artist dreams of winning. Even Best New Artist, which portends a solid future as an artist despite the legend of the Best New Artist “curse” (tell that to Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Maroon 5 or John Legend). Here are the nominees in the four “big” categories.

    Record of the Year: “Chasing Pavements” (Adele)/”Viva La Vida” (Coldplay)/”Bleeding Love” (Leona Lewis)/”Paper Planes” (M.I.A.)/”Please Read the Letter” (Robert Plant & Allison Krauss)

    Will Win: Coldplay

    Should Win: M.I.A.

    Coldplay is almost certain to pull off an Amy Winehouse-like near-sweep this year, as “Viva La Vida” will win nearly every award it’s nominated for. The elderly voting bloc of Grammy voters could potentially pull out an upset for Plant & Krauss, and Clive Davis could get a win for his latest protege Leona Lewis, but I think this one goes to Chris Martin and co. Hey, did anyone realize this category is all Brits? What does that say about the status of American music? And how cool is it gonna be to see a very pregnant M.I.A. sashay across the stage to perform “Paper Planes”?

    Album of the Year: “Viva La Vida or Death & All His Friends” (Coldplay)/”Tha Carter III” (Lil Wayne)/”Year of the Gentleman” (Ne-Yo)/”Raising Sand” (Robert Plant & Allison Krauss)/”In Rainbows” (Radiohead)

    Will Win: Plant & Krauss

    Should Win: Radiohead

    Ne-Yo’s nomination itself was a shocker, so he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning. Despite Weezy’s having the biggest-selling album of 2008, Grammy does not acknowledge hardcore rap in its’ main categories (remember “The Marshall Mathers LP” losing to Steely Dan back in ’01?), so that leaves Radiohead (whose win would be the biggest music-industry “fuck you” ever), Coldplay, and Plant & Krauss, who will most likely snatch this award up, given the Grammy folks’ penchant for a) honoring folks at the twilight of their careers and b) honoring legends late in their careers who’ve completely gotten the shaft in their original, legendary incarnations. Keep in mind that Led Zeppelin never won a Grammy. This is payback time for Plant.

    Song of the Year: “American Boy” (Estelle feat. Kanye West)/”Chasing Pavements” (Adele)/”I’m Yours” (Jason Mraz)/”Love Song” (Sara Bareilles)/”Viva La Vida” (Coldplay)

    Will Win: Coldplay

    Should Win: Adele

    The Bareilles song is a little too jingle-happy for my taste, so I count it out simply by virtue of me not liking it. The Mraz song is also a bit featherweight, and…why am I explaining all of this? Coldplay wins again, although the awfully pretty “Chasing Pavements” would be a better choice.

    Best New Artist: Adele/Duffy/Jonas Brothers/Lady Antebellum/Jazmine Sullivan

    Will Win: Jonas Brothers

    Should Win: This is not a very strong category.

    Um…where’s Leona Lewis? Sara Bareilles? Estelle? OneRepublic? All of these artists were left off in favor of on-their-third-album-so-hardly-new-artists The Jonas Brothers? Gimme a fuckin’ break. If there’s anything that convinces me more that The Grammys are rigged, it’s this category. The JoBros will win simply by virtue of no one having heard of anyone else in the category!

    And like Porky the Pig said, that’s all folks! Stay tuned later tonight for SonicClash’s liveblog of the Grammy Awards and you can also see whether my predictions were right! Enjoy the show!!

  • SonicClash Handicaps The Grammys IV: Disturbia?

    mraz

    Welcome to the pop section of the 2009 Grammy Awards, where wily veterans duke it out with hot young guns. It’s the only place you’ll find James Taylor and Ne-Yo in the same category, for what it’s worth. I won’t spend half the article building up to these categories, so here they are…

    Best Female Pop Vocal Performance: “Chasing Pavements” (Adele)/”Love Song” (Sara Bareilles)/”Mercy” (Duffy)/”Bleeding Love” (Leona Lewis)/”I Kissed a Girl” (Katy Perry)/”So What” (P!nk)

    Will Win: Leona Lewis

    Should Win: P!nk

    Adele, Duffy and Bareilles are all still sort of bubbling under. A lot of Grammy voters still haven’t heard of these three. “I Kissed a Girl” is viewed by many as a novelty record, which leaves P!nk and Leona Lewis. While P!nk’s snotty reaction to her divorce, in an ideal world, would result in the singer’s third Grammy, I say this one goes to big-voiced junior diva Leona Lewis, in order to make up for not including the huge hit “Bleeding Love” in the Record of the Year category.

    Best Male Pop Vocal Performance: “All Summer Long” (Kid Rock)/”Say” (John Mayer)/”That Was Me” (Paul McCartney)/”I’m Yours” (Jason Mraz)/”Closer” (Ne-Yo)/”Witchita Lineman” (James Taylor)

    Will Win: Kid Rock

    Should Win: John Mayer

    John Mayer, who has won twice in this category, is always a threat, as is James Taylor, who has also taken this category a few times. The only two artists that are officially out of contention are McCartney (for a song that was released on a limited-release project) and Ne-Yo (who’s considered too much of an R&B artist to get a pop award). Jason Mraz could sneak this one away, but Kid Rock’s hit was so huge (and a big FU to digital retailers-as the man sold 3 million records without one digital download), you have to honor the guy. Besides, “All Summer Long” is hella catchy.

    Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group: “Viva La Vida” (Coldplay)/”Waiting in the Weeds” (The Eagles)/”Going On” (Gnarls Barkley)/”Won’t Go Home Without You” (Maroon 5)/”Apologize” (OneRepublic)

    Will Win: Coldplay

    Should Win: Gnarls Barkley

    This is Coldplay’s night. They’ll win this category in a landslide, although I’d love to see Gnarls Barkley get some props for their unfairly overlooked CD “The Odd Couple”. Where are these guys in the Urban/Alternative category?


    Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals: “Lesson Learned” (Alicia Keys & John Mayer)/”4 Minutes” (Madonna, Justin Timberlake & Madonna)/”Rich Woman” (Robert Plant & Alison Krauss)/”If I Never See Your Face Again” (Maroon 5 feat. Rihanna)/”No Air” (Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown)

    Will Win: “Rich Woman”

    Should Win: Pick ’em

    Sparks & Brown are out for their teenybopper duet, as are Maroon 5, for stripping Rihanna’s vocals onto an already completed song. Any of the rest of these folks could snare the Grammy. However, the older voting bloc will in all likelihood tip the odds in favor of Plant & Krauss, who won this category last year.

    Best Pop Album: “Detours” (Sheryl Crow)/”Rockferry” (Duffy)/”Long Road Out of Eden” (The Eagles)/”Spirit” (Leona Lewis)/”Covers” (James Taylor)

    Will Win: The Eagles

    Should Win: This is not a good batch.

    Sheesh, talk about five lame-ass albums. I don’t even CARE who wins this one. Smart money’s on The Eagles or JT, although I think if Leona wins the Pop Female category, she might have a chance here too.

    Best Dance Recording: “Harder Better Faster Stronger” (Daft Punk)/”Ready for the Floor” (Hot Chip)/”Just Dance” (Lady GaGa & Colby O’Donis)/”Give it 2 Me” (Madonna)/”Disturbia” (Rihanna)

    Will Win: Rihanna

    Should Win: Rihanna

    “Just Dance” would have had a shot if it hadn’t taken so long to become a hit. Hot Chip isn’t well-known enough and Daft Punk is nominated for a live version of a VERY old song. Madonna’s “Hard Candy” was a bit underwhelming (and “Give it 2 Me” was one of its’ worst tracks), so hand-deliver this one to Rihanna.

    Best Dance/Electronic Album: “New York City” (Brazilian Girls)/”Alive 2007″ (Daft Punk)/”Bring Ya to the Brink” (Cyndi Lauper)/”X” (Kylie Minogue)/”Last Night” (Moby)/”Robyn” (Robyn)

    Will Win: Kylie Minogue

    Should Win: Robyn

    For her first album after emerging triumphant from a battle with breast cancer, Kylie Minogue will take this one home, although the cheeky and talented Robyn deserves this one. So what if her album wasn’t really “dance”?

  • SonicClash Handicaps The 2009 Grammy Awards Part III: Year of the Gentleman

    judThis year’s R&B categories boast two strange omissions-Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige. Both are extraordinarily loved by Grammy voters, and yet they’re almost nowhere to be found. Instead, the NARAS folks are honoring soul music’s new guard, with multiple nominations for newcomer Jazmine Sullivan and relative newcomers Ne-Yo and Jennifer Hudson. Let’s see how the categories shake out.

    Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: Me, Myself & I (Beyonce)/Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole)/Spotlight (Jennifer Hudson)/Superwoman (Alicia Keys)/Need U Bad (Jazmine Sullivan)

    Will Win: Jennifer Hudson

    Should Win: Keyshia Cole

    The obvious first question is “Why is Beyonce nominated for a song that’s over 5 years old?”. Apparently, it’s an audio track from a live DVD and Grammy saw fit to nominate her instead of Mary J. Blige or any of the other deserving females that could have potentially been up for this award. She won’t win anyway. The R&B category this year is going to be very kind to either Hudson or Sullivan I’m betting the sympathy factor works in J. Hud’s factor. However, Keyshia Cole deserves this simply for making me love a song by an artist I detest.

    Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: You’re the Only One (Eric Benet)/Take You Down (Chris Brown)/Miss Independent (Ne-Yo)/Can’t Help But Wait (Trey Songz)/Here I Stand (Usher)

    Will Win: Ne-Yo

    Should Win: Usher

    This is Ne-Yo’s year, point blank. Count on him to challenge Coldplay for most awards won tonight (although I think parity will be the name of the game this year). I don’t see anyone else getting this award. Usher has won three times in this category, but the fact that he has the strongest song in the bunch will be negated by the fact that his album was perceived as a flop.

    Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group: Ribbon in the Sky (Boyz II Men)/Words (Anthony David feat. india.arie)/Stay With Me (By the Sea) (Al Green feat. John Legend)/I’m His Only Woman (Jennifer Hudson feat. Fantasia)/Never Give You Up (Raphael Saadiq feat. Stevie Wonder & CJ Hilton)

    Will Win: Al Green feat. John Legend

    Should Win: Raphael Saadiq feat. Stevie Wonder & CJ Hilton

    The average music fan doesn’t even know that Boyz II Men is still around. It’s not 1994, so it’s doubtful they will win, which leaves the 4 collaborations. Raphael Saadiq and india.arie both have a history of getting Susan Lucci’ed at the Grammys, so that leaves J. Hud and Fantasia (who can sneak in and nab this one, and the beautiful Al Green/John Legend duet, which will probably snag the prize.

    Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance: A Change is Gonna Come (Wayne Brady)/You Got the Love I Need (Al Green feat. Anthony Hamilton)/Baby I Know (Linda Jones with Helen Bruner & Terry Jones)/Love That Girl (Raphael Saadiq)/In Love with Another Man (Jazmine Sullivan)

    Will Win: Al Green feat. Anthony Hamilton

    Should Win: Al Green feat. Anthony Hamilton

    Linda Jones has been deceased for over thirty-five years. The younger contingent of voters isn’t going to know who she is. Hell, the OLDER contingent of voters won’t know who she is. Wayne Brady, despite being totally qualified to win this award, isn’t as well known as a musician as he is a TV personality. If Jazmine Sullivan gets on a roll, she might get this one, but the save bet is Rev. Al, the Ladies’ Pal. And it would give Anthony Hamilton a well-deserved first Grammy! Sweet!

    Best Urban/Alternative Performance: Say Goodbye to Love (Kenna)/Wanna Be (Maiysha)/Be OK (Chrisette Michele feat. will.i.am)/Many Moons (Janelle Monae)/Lovin’ You (Music) (Wayna feat. Kokayi)

    Will Win: Chrisette Michele

    Should Win: Kenna

    Simply put, Grammy voters are going to vote for who they know. So unless Puffy gets everyone he knows to vote for Janelle Monae, the NARAS folks are gonna recognize will.i.am’s name and put a checkmark next to it. I personally would give Kenna the award, seeing as he singlehandedly redeems The Neptunes for half a decade of truly mediocre music.

    Best R&B Song: Bust Your Windows (Jazmine Sullivan)/Customer (Raheem DeVaughn)/Heaven Sent (Keyshia Cole)/Miss Independent (Ne-Yo)/Spotlight (Jennifer Hudson)

    Will Win: “Spotlight”

    Should Win: “Customer”

    One would think that with two nominations in this category (he also wrote “Spotlight”), Ne-Yo would cancel himself out, but for some reason my Spidey Sense tells me that won’t happen this time around. This is another category that I think Jazmine Sullivan has a chance at, especially if she gets on a roll, but this’ll probably end up another J. Hud sympathy vote although, considering she didn’t write the song, she won’t get an award.

    Best R&B Album: Love & Life (Eric Benet)/Motown: A Journey Through Hitsville USA (Boyz II Men)/Lay it Down (Al Green)/Jennifer Hudson (Jennifer Hudson)/The Way I See It (Raphael Saadiq)

    Will Win: Al Green

    Should Win: Raphael Saadiq

    I still don’t know the difference between an “R&B Album” and a “Contemporary R&B” album. Can someone help me out here? Grammy likes to bestow honors on artists late in their careers, so I think 2009 will be the year Al Green gets honored, not just for “Lay it Down”, which is a great album in its’ own right, but for making “Let’s Stay Together” and “I’m Still in Love with You” and all the 70s hits he wasn’t honored for initially.

    Best Contemporary R&B Album: Growing Pains (Mary J. Blige)/Back of My Lac (J. Holiday)/First Love (Karina)/Year of the Gentleman (Ne-Yo)/Fearless (Jazmine Sullivan)

    Will Win: Ne-Yo

    Should Win: Ne-Yo

    Who’s Karina and why is she nominated? Must investigate. Didn’t J. Holiday’s record come out two years ago? Anyway, there’s three solid nominees here, and even though I wanna say Mary J. might come up and spirit this one away, it’s Ne-Yo’s night. He wins again.

    Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: American Boy (Estelle feat. Kanye West)/Low (Flo-rida feat. T-Pain)/Green Light (John Legend feat. Andre 3000)/Got Money (Lil Wayne feat. T-Pain)/Superstar (Lupe Fiasco feat. Matthew Santos)

    Will Win: “American Boy”

    Should Win: “Green Light”

    I don’t know that the conservative bloc of Grammy voters is going to vote for Lil Wayne. Besides, he’s dragged down by the presence of T-Pain, whose two nominations will probably cancel one another out (not that it worked last year. I can’t believe T-Pain has a Grammy). Grammy loves Andre 3000 and John Legend, but Grammy loves Kanye even more, and “American Boy” was probably the most popular song of the 5 nominated. Plus, Estelle & Kanye are performing on the show. I think that’s the tipoff right there.